I twist open the top half of the hanger and the last words that come out of my mouth before Trent can make it to me on time are,
“FUCK YOU.”
And I plunge the end of the hanger straight through my broken heart.
Epilogue
I wake up screaming wildly and bolt upright in bed, thrashing around violently as if I am trying to protect myself. It’s daylight and the sun is shining through the blinds as my eyes dart around my bedroom.
“Oh my God. I am in my room. This can’t be. How did I get here?”
My hands start frantically touching and pinching at my skin to see if I am dreaming. I’m not. I really am in my bed. Did I survive? There is no way I could have. I killed myself in order to be with Turner. I try and bring my knees up to my chest and they barely move. Am I paralyzed now? And why is the bed all wet underneath me? Flipping off the covers in a hurry, I stare down in shock as my eyes land on my very large, pregnant belly.
I don’t know how to explain this. Did I dream the entire thing? Am I hallucinating? How long have I been like this? My eyes scan the spot next to me in bed and I am alone. I need to get up and call my brother and find out what the hell is going on. Just as I swing my legs over the side, I hear footsteps charging up the stairs. I stand and turn toward the door and when he walks through the door, I scream.
“Clove, baby. I heard you screaming. Are you all right? Did you have another nightmare?”
My mind is telling my body that I should fear this man and yet my heart is telling me to run to him.
“Who are you?” I whisper.
He cocks his head as if my words have stunned him
“What do you mean, who am I? Did you have another nightmare, honey?” he asks as he moves closer.
My legs have turned into a solid brick of ice and I cannot move as he stands in front of me and places my hand in his. His hand is comforting and smooth and something about it just feels so right.
“Turner?” I utter in confusion.
“Yeah, it’s me Clove. Did you have another nightmare?” he asks again as he takes both hands and rubs them up and down my arms in the gentlest way.
“A nightmare?” My mind is a muddled and tangled up mess.
“Yes, you’ve been having those a lot lately as we get closer to your delivery date.”
Did I just hear him right? A baby? Our baby? No, this can’t be true. He can’t be alive. He can’t be real.
I reach out and grasp his face with my hands and search deep within his eyes to see if he is real. And he is. He’s real. Turner is alive and it was all a nightmare! A terrible, horrible dream. I bring myself closer to him and watch his lips part as if he is expecting the kiss I so urgently want. The mouth that always soothes and consumes me. Or is it? This crazy, fucked up, twisted mind of mine has to know, and there is only one way to find out.
Slowly, with shaky hands, I unbutton my dress, exposing my swelled breasts.
“What are you doing?”
The sound of his voice has me swallowing, scared as a mouse trapped in a corner with nowhere to go as the cat slinks its way toward its prey, back hunched, ready to attack. Closing my eyes, praying, hoping, and wishing, at first I don’t see what it is I am looking for. But when I open them, I let out a blood-curling scream. There, centered just above my breast, is the scar. The scar left by the hanger I stabbed myself with.
The baby decides to kick hard at this precise moment, bringing me to my knees. The fear, the agony. It wasn’t a dream at all. Why did I survive? How? A sharp pain rips through my stomach as it tightens and I double over, my hands bracing against the floor in front of me.
I look up bitterly at my betrayer . . . a killer, and God forbid, the father of my unborn child. The man standing in front of me isn’t Turner, and this wasn’t a nightmare at all. This is reality, and this is hell, because this man is Trent. Slowly I shake my head back and forth.
“Y-you won, Trent. Didn’t you?”
The darkness continues to devour my tortured soul.
Acknowledgements
Tony, my one true love. You swept me off my feet twenty-two years ago when my eyes first landed on yours the minute you stepped through the door of that bar. My feet never once touched the ground again. The world will now know it was love at first sight.
My boys, Aaron and Shane. You call me the best word ever created: MOM.
Mom and Dad. You always encouraged all seven of us to follow our dreams. I’m living proof that dreams really do come true.
Margaret McHeyzer. You, my friend, were one of the first authors to tell me I could do it. You have helped me more than anyone. One of these days I will come face to face with you, and when I do, be ready for this old lady to leap into your arms. Thank you!
All of my author buddies. You know who you are. Your friendship means the world to me. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
My friends and cover models, Tessi Conquest and Nathan Weller. I have no clue where to even begin with the two of you. God placed the three of us together for a reason. Not too many people have the type of bond we do. My love for you grows every day.
My BETA readers. You make me shine bright in this world. You dedicate so much of your time to me. True friendship is what I feel for you. Thank you for being on my side.
My Krew. What can I say, except for the fact I would be nothing without all of you. I have never seen a group of women work as hard as all of you. Lip smacking face kisses from me to you.
Kimberly Capuccio, my editor. Book three, baby! Many more to come for me and you. Words cannot even begin to express my gratitude to you. My love can, though, and you have it. If someone were to ask me right this very minute the one person I want to meet most in this world, it would be you. That day is coming my lovely lady, and my arms are open wide.
To My Author buddies in TGNAFN. Our daily chats and loyalty and trust towards one another are sacred.
My girl Chelle Bliss. I think the entire reading world knows what you mean to me. I will always have your back.
Eric David Battershell. You just needed to go in here. Why? Simply because you came into my life just when I needed a friend, and now our friendship will last forever.
Every reader, blogger, photographer, model. The list is endless when it comes to you. Thank you for taking the time to read my stories and to send me messages with kind and caring words. I never take anyone or anything for granted. Know this from the depths of my soul- I adore you.
My dreams have only just begun; live yours, make them happen. You have the ability to do so.
Contrite Playlist
4 Non Blondes- What’s Up
ZZ Ward- Put the Gun Down
Kenny Wayne Shepherd- Blue on Black
Melissa Etheridge- Come to My Window
REO Speedwagon- Ridin’the Storm Out
Buckcherry- Sorry
George Michael- I Want Your Sex
Pat Benatar- All Fired Up
Leona Lewis- Bleeding Love
Kelly Clarkson- Stronger
Natasha Bedingfield- Unwritten
Alicia Keys- No One
P!nk- Try