“Is that such a bad thing?” He elbows my side.
After some time, when he hasn’t spoken, I wonder if he’s fallen asleep. But a glance at his dimly lit expression reveals he’s putting some thought into this. I suddenly regret being so quick to choose my nickname for him.
I don’t care. I don’t.
“You saved my life,” he says, his words a thoughtful whisper. “You brought color back to me when everything seemed gray.”
His profound statements open old wounds. Why do I get the notion he’s not referring to tonight alone?
“I have a name,” he says, shifting where he sits. “But I’m not going to give it to you yet.”
I frown. “Why?”
“Because it’s not the right time.” His self-assurance is incredibly infuriating.
“When is the right time?” What is it about him that makes me say all the words?
“Trust me. You’ll know.”
I have no idea what that means or why he’s acting this way. My heart wants to build walls, to block him at all entrances. I’d made myself forget him. But I’m so tired and cold I can’t think. Before I can press him further, my eyelids betray me.
When his arms fall around me, I don’t fight it. This boy—this drifter—smells of summer. When the sun hits the rocks just so at about midday in July and everything feels yellow. A poppied hue that complements the blue of the sea in a way that makes their duet sing. Warmth envelops my body despite the chill.
In my sleep, the nightmares never come.
And this, I realize, is even more terrifying than the darkness.
Eighteen
Merrick
The drive back to the city took them less than two hours the next morning. They’d left early enough to beat the rush-hour traffic. So much faster than the bus with all its stops.
“Thanks for coming with, man. You didn’t have to.” What else could Merrick say? Grim hadn’t heard from him since middle school and now he was dropping everything to help Amaya.
“Think nothing of it, my friend.” Grim slowed the car as he pulled into the hospital’s parking lot.
Merrick dialed his sister’s cell. He tried to call her back last night, but it went straight to voice mail. When the same thing happened now, he hung up without leaving a message and looked up the hospital’s main line. He pressed Call and waited.
“UCSF Benioff Children’s, how may I direct your call?”
“Can you transfer me to room 301, please?”
“One moment.”
That moment lasted way too long and Merrick’s morning coffee quickly turned to acid in his gut. Maybe she was sleeping. Or eating. Or having her vitals checked again. When the call was sent back to the operator, he asked for the nurses’ station on the third floor.
“This is Jana.”
Merrick cleared his throat. “Hi, Jana. This is Merrick. I don’t know if you remember me, but my sister, Amaya, is there in room 301. I’m trying to get ahold of her.”
“Of course I remember you,” the overly chipper pregnant woman said. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m good. No complaints. Can I speak to Amaya?”
“Oh, sorry.” She laughed. “She was discharged this morning. I believe your father came to pick her up.”
Or his chauffeur. Merrick rolled his eyes. If his father could send someone else to do his work for him, he would.
“Okay, thanks.”
“Anytime.”
Merrick hung up and stared at his phone’s still-lit screen.
“Everything all right?” Grim’s car had been idling. He put it in park and turned off the ignition. “Are we staying? Going?”
“Do you mind taking me to my house?” It took everything in Merrick not to call Amaya’s number again. “I’m sure my sister’s there.”
“I am at your service, my liege.” Grim turned the key and backed out.
Merrick entered the route into his GPS and a female voice led the way. The morning fog stayed low until they reached the city limits, as if issuing a warning of what lay ahead. When Grim pulled up to the curb across the street from the home where Merrick grew up, the place looked different. Empty. He inhaled, closed his eyes, and set one foot on the pavement. But then the front door of his house opened and he ducked back into the car.
“What’s up?” Grim asked.
“That’s my father.” Merrick squinted, keeping his head low so his father wouldn’t see.
Hiroshi descended the steps and slid into the back seat of a black luxury sedan. Harold drove the car onto the road and they were gone.
“Keep the car running.”
“Sure thing, buddy.”
This time when Merrick got out, he sprinted across the street, nearly getting hit by a car he failed to notice. The driver honked and Merrick waved a halfhearted apology. When he entered the house, classic rock met him where he stood.
It was Tuesday. Of course. The maids were here.
It had been this way every Tuesday for years. Three women—a grandmother, her daughter, and her daughter—came to clean their house from floor to ceiling fan. His father could afford it, of course, and his mom said the house was too big to clean by herself. When the oldest of the three stepped from the dining room into the foyer, where Merrick stood, she screamed.
“Goodness gracious, Mr. Merrick. You about gave this old woman a heart attack.”
He slumped against the wall. “Sorry, Mrs. H. I’m looking for Amaya.”
“She’s upstairs in her room. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you before she leaves.”
Before she leaves? Merrick took the stairs two at a time and found his sister exactly where Mrs. H said she was. A rolling suitcase lay open on her bed, and Maya was tossing unfolded pieces of clothing from her dresser into the bag. The bed was stripped bare and a shudder ran up Merrick’s spine.
It’s because the sheets had blood on them.
“Hey,” he said. “What’s going on? I thought you weren’t being discharged yet. I tried to call you.”
“Dad took my phone.” Maya rolled her eyes. “He said he decided ten wasn’t old enough to have my own device. Can you believe that?”
He could but refrained from saying so. Maya spent way too much time on the thing, especially for someone her age. Their father hated social media for anything other than marketing and business purposes, but Mom had convinced him to let Maya get an account on all the main platforms.
“My friends all have accounts!” Maya had argued. When that hadn’t worked, she’d taken an alternate route. “All my classes are in private groups. The teachers post extra credit and give a heads-up on due dates and when there’s going to be a quiz.”
That had done it. From then on Merrick’s sister had been glued to her phone, checking her likes and friends’ status updates every second of the day. She’d gotten tons of new followers as the daughter of a business tycoon. Their father had his money in so many businesses at this point, it was difficult to keep track of exactly what the man did and didn’t own.
“So he has your phone.” Merrick glanced around her pristine room. Not a thing stood out of place. The white furniture matched the white curtains. A single painting hung on the wall above Maya’s desk—a lighthouse that reminded him of childhood and made him wish for clearer answers. “Are you guys going on vacation or something?”
Maya moved to her closet and started pulling things off hangers. “Guess again, big brother. Your crazy sister’s being sent away.”