The tension that tautened between them on the drive back to Kalinda’s town house was palpable. It was also very silent Kalinda didn’t know what Rand was thinking, but she knew her own mind was whirling with arguments and counter-arguments. He intended to make love to her tonight and she knew of no practical way of stopping him because, deep down, it was what she wanted, too.
Rand said nothing as he guided her forcefully through the door of her home and locked it firmly behind them. And he said nothing as she tried to step nervously out of reach.
But his hand closed on her upper arm in an unshakable grip and she was hauled against his chest, the sequined shawl slipping unnoticed to the green carpet to lie in a sparkling heap.
Wordlessly they stared at each other and then whatever bits of protest Kalinda might have found were blocked as Rand began to renew the claim he had on her.
She should have known, Kalinda told herself as he rained aggressive, mastering kisses down her throat, that she could never withstand such a sensuous assault The need in him was genuine even though at this moment it was combined with a desire to subdue. And her desire to match and satisfy that need was equally genuine, even though she told herself it was a dangerous path. She couldn’t fight her own love for him.
„Kalinda, you can’t deny this feeling between us. You can’t possibly say it’s based on business!“ The words were grated roughly against her skin as he began to undo the velvet jacket.
„No, Rand,“ she acknowledged gently as the jacket fell to the floor beside the sequined shawl.
„Admit you want me, sweetheart,“ he commanded gruffly, sliding the silk blouse off her shoulders. „You must know I want you. Admit that you feel the same. Neither of us could walk away from an affair!“
It was the simple truth. With a moan of acceptance of her fate, Kalinda wound her arms around his neck, returning his kisses with passionate, yielding intensity. She had no choice but to acknowledge the effect he had on her and to admit her inability to walk away from him. He might not know it was based on love, but she knew it.
„I want you, Rand,“ she whispered against his throat as his hands found her breasts and began bringing them to fullness. She wanted to say she loved him but knew he wouldn’t want her love. He wanted an affair and, perhaps, a business-oriented marriage.
„I know that, darling,“ he husked. „You can’t hide it I see it everytime I look in your eyes, everytime your body comes alive under my hands. But it’s so damn frustrating hearing you try to wriggle out of our affair!“
„I won’t try anymore,“ she vowed thickly, pushing his dinner jacket onto the floor with inviting, eager hands. She went to work on the buttons of his shirt. „I should have known I couldn’t out-reason a skilled manipulator like you,“ she added wistfully, her mouth lifting at the corners.
„Not when you’re all wrong in your reasoning process!“
„Am I, Rand?“ she whispered.
„Yes,“ he growled as the last of their clothes fell to the carpet „All wrong…“
He ran his hands caressingly down her back, sinking his fingers into the curve of her bottom and letting her feel the hardening maleness of him against her thighs.
Kalinda spread her fingers across his chest, delighting in the roughness of the crisp hair even as his hair-roughened leg moved boldly between hers.
She closed her eyes in expectation as he bent to lift her into his arms. But instead of carrying her into the bedroom, he settled her on the thick green carpet beside the pile of clothes.
He came down beside her, sweeping his hand across her breasts, pausing to draw teasing circles around each nipple before moving lower. She turned into his arms, the need in her shining in her eyes.
„Did you really think I’d let you try to talk me out of an affair?“ he demanded hoarsely, pinning her gently to the carpet with his leg.
„Yes, no, I don’t know. I haven’t been thinking all that clearly lately.“ She reached up and pulled his head down to hers.
Committed now, she kissed him with all the longing in her heart, using the ancient, womanly wiles buried in every nerve ending. Letting her own need and desire take over she explored his mouth with a passion that clearly aroused him deeply. Once more, as she always seemed to do with this man, Kalinda put the future aside. It just didn’t seem as important as expressing her love in the present. Even if that love must remain mute.
She felt his fingers on her thighs and then released his head as he groaned and began to kiss her breasts. Fingers locked in his chestnut hair, she held him to her and let her senses swirl.
„You’re so perfect for me,“ he said throatily. „So exactly what I need. You must see I can’t give you up, sweetheart“
She arched upward and felt his lips on her thigh. The tiny, stinging caress nearly drove her insane with desire. The shimmering, promising currents began gathering once again in her body, seeking the release they had learned to expect from this man.
He caught her arching hips with his hand, holding her in delicious bondage as she struggled to complete the union. The sensation of being held back seemed to hone her need to an even higher peak. Kalinda twisted and curled, grateful for each new teasing, tormenting touch, but determined to have it all.
„Please, Rand, please,“ she begged, grasping at him, trying to pull him down on top of her.
He kissed her navel and then the slope of her small breasts, letting her writhe against him but not letting her take control of the lovemaking.
„Tell me again that you want me, sweetheart,“ he whispered beguilingly.
„I want you. Oh, God! How I want you!“ Trapped in the depths of her own desire she would have told him the truth if he had asked it of her. She would have willingly told him of her love. But he didn’t ask that question. Instead, incredibly, he asked another. One she wasn’t prepared for at all.
„If you really want me so much,“ he grated heavily, „then there’s no reason for us not to marry, is there? I could never tolerate letting you go to another man after what we’ve shared. Say you’ll marry me, sweet Kalinda. Make the engagement real.“
Stunned by the demand, Kalinda tried to think logically, tried to remember her fears. But it was impossible to do so while cradled so tightly against him. She loved him and he was asking her to marry him.
Weakened with longing and unable to argue with herself in that moment, Kalinda heard herself whisper the answer.
„Yes, Rand. I’ll marry you. I’ll do anything you want“
Nothing had changed. She knew the odds were that he was still caught up in a combination of desire and gratitude to her for providing him the excuse he’d needed to return to the business world. He had said nothing of love.
But she no longer had the strength to turn down that which her heart so desperately wanted. She loved him. Perhaps, in time, she could teach him to love her. If not, if the time ever came when he realized he no longer needed her, she would not regret the time she’d been his. Real love might eventually cause sadness, but not regret.
10
Two days later a somewhat tired-looking Rand appeared in Kalinda’s office doorway. She had seen him only at work since the night he had seduced her into marrying him. He’d made compelling love to her on the plush carpet, whispering words of aching need. And when it was over he’d carried her tenderly to the bedroom, kissed her good-night, dressed, and left.
The next day at work he had been all business, never mentioning the traumatic events of the evening. He had devoted himself to his task at Brady with single-minded determination. She knew he’d talked to people high up in David Hutton’s firm, spelling out exactly how Brady Data Processing was prepared to match the hostile merger offer to shareholders or to find a friendly corporate marriage partner. That night he’d taken Kalinda home late after work and left her politely on her doorstep.