"Your voice is amazing. Now—your turn." Annelie leaned her head against the backrest, her legs pulled up underneath her.
Carolyn knew she had to stay truthful or she would lose any of the ground she had gained.
"I've always considered myself heterosexual, though I've had plenty of chances to experiment. I simply wasn't interested in the women who came on to me, so I didn't need to reflect on my sexual preference until I met you. In the kitchen, when we were fixing dessert, I didn't mean to try and kiss you. I just had this overwhelming urge and—"
"And I pulled back."
"I thought I'd offended you. When you explained, I was prepared to accept and respect your standpoint." Carolyn smiled ruefully. "After the convention, which frankly was quite the ego trip, I was on such an emotional high. I was feeling giddy, excited, and simply unable to wind down. When we were on the couch together and you looked so beautiful…oh, God, Annelie…" Reaching out for support, Carolyn took the other woman's hand in hers. "I was hot and cold at the same time, and more so, I knew I had to hold you. I had no ulterior motives, no thoughts of the next day. I can be a calculating bitch, but I had no plans to seduce you, I swear."
Annelie studied her for a moment, as if trying to make up her mind. "I want to believe you. What I couldn't believe, though, was how your voice, the look on your face, made me feel. I was about to pull back, to leave you alone to watch TV, when I saw the passion in your eyes."
"You did pull back, in a way. You never let me touch you, Annie." The words were hard to say. Carolyn cleared her throat. "I was naked but you never fully undressed."
"Self-preservation. I was trying to protect myself somehow." Annelie paused. "I thought, if she touches me, like I used to fantasize, I'll break. It wasn't because I didn't want you to. I was afraid."
"I wanted to touch you, the same way you caressed me, so much. I wanted to know how it felt to make love to you. Not just any woman. You."
Annelie's eyes welled up with tears. Blinking them away, she squeezed Carolyn's hand hard before she let go. "Me?"
Carolyn rose on her knees on the couch. Framing Annelie's face with her hands, she didn't take her eyes off her lover. "You. I'll go out on the proverbial limb now and tell you the truth. I have to."
Annelie swallowed and pressed her lips together into a thin line. "Will I like it?" she whispered huskily.
"I don't know. You might feel awkward or look at me with pity. Or you might give me a chance, despite your principles." Carolyn let one of her hands stroke Annelie's hair down to her ponytail. Freeing it from the large hair clip, she watched as the blond abundance cascaded down around Annelie's shoulders. "I'm falling for you, Annie. I really am."
Annelie gave a muted gasp.
"It's true," Carolyn repeated.
Annelie suddenly rose, making Carolyn's hands fall into her lap. She paced back and forth in front of the couch a couple of times, making
Carolyn hold her breath, fearing she'd overstepped the final boundary and made her presence in Annelie's life impossible.
"Please, Annie." Her voice was merely a whisper.
Annelie stopped pacing and knelt in front of her guest. "I have to be blunt, Carolyn. This whole situation scares the living daylights out of me. I'm independent and treasure my freedom. I keep to myself for a lot of reasons. Now…having you here…I'm afraid! You have a reputation for doing just about anything to get what you want—even if it means sleeping your way to it. How can I possibly know this isn't just part of your plan?"
Knowing there could be no excuses if she was going to stand a chance with Annelie, Carolyn reached out and pulled the visibly distraught woman up next to her on the couch. "Some of those rumors are true, and I deserve to be criticized for some of the things I've done, especially in my younger days. But listen to me. This is important.
"I have never cheated on anyone. I have never had a one-night stand with anyone to get ahead. I've schemed and also lied, fought tooth and nail for roles, but I've never willingly or deliberately lied about personal feelings.
"Grey constantly tells me I'm too frank for this business—he could be right." Forcing herself to stay calm, Carolyn sighed. "I care about you. I don't want to lose what I've found with you. That's why I'd rather tear up the contracts than risk—"
"No, don't even say that." Annelie's eyes probed hers. "If I'm to take a chance on you…on this…it will be my decision, based on how I feel—not on how much you're prepared to prove or give up."
Carolyn held her breath when Annelie leaned forward, sliding her hand underneath Carolyn's hair, caressing the soft skin on her neck.
"Carolyn, tell me. Will you spend the night? Will you sleep next to me and, I mean, just sleep? Things are moving too fast, and I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing. I don't want you to go, but I don't want us to rush headlong into it—making love. Not yet. Last Saturday we ended up in something way too soon. We couldn't resist each other, and we risked destroying a budding friendship and a great working relationship. Now, as I said, I don't want you to go. Please stay?"
Taken aback, Carolyn nodded. "I don't want to go either. I'd love to stay all night. We'll take it slow. We can take it at any pace you like or feel comfortable with, just as long as you know I'm sincere."
Annelie looked intently at Carolyn. "There's still so much to settle, to learn, about each other. Is it enough for you if I say I believe in your good intentions?"
Carolyn realized this was the most she could hope for at this point. "Yes."
Suddenly Annelie blushed faintly, looking down at her hands before raising her gaze again.
"You can have the guest room, if you prefer. I didn't mean to assume…"
"Shh. I want to sleep next to you. I don't want the guest room."
***
Annelie watched Carolyn approach the king-size bed. After they had finished their reheated meal, they had listened to soft music, both of them lost in thought, until bedtime. Annelie's mind had wandered to how Carolyn had sounded, asking Annelie to trust her motives, without sounding pleading or begging. The whisky voice rose and fell, its timbre setting off the strangest sensations inside her. It was the voice she had admired for so long and yet completely different. Mulling it over, Annelie had finally realized the new qualities, the urgent tone, in the famous voice had been the sincerity so clearly present. And here she comes, dressed in one of my T-shirts. Oh, God, she looks so innocent, shy almost…and so sexy.
Carolyn climbed into bed, the fragrance of Annelie's citrus shower gel clinging to her. As she looked at Annelie hesitantly, she raised an eyebrow. "So, where do you want me?"
Annelie gave a faint smile. "Right here. Any way you want."
Poking at the big pile of pillows, Carolyn pushed a large one encased in a satin pillowcase close to Annelie's right shoulder. Then she settled down next to Annelie without touching her.
"Comfy yet?"
"Getting there." Carolyn moved around a bit.
"May I assist you, ma'am?" Annelie joked, trying to take some of the tension away.
"I'm all right, I just…I usually fall asleep on my right side."
Annelie's chest filled with tenderness when she realized Carolyn was feeling shyer than she let on. "Then lie down on your right side.
There, that's it." She moved until she could almost feel Carolyn's back. "Lift your head." She pushed her arm under the pillow. "Now lie down again."
She adjusted her position, spooning behind Carolyn, her right arm under her neck, her left hand stretched down along Carolyn's thigh, touching the naked skin just below the hem of her T-shirt, though feeling no sexual sparks.
"Comfy?" Annelie repeated.
"Oh, yes," Carolyn sighed. "Very."
Placing a tender kiss on the auburn hair, Annelie closed her eyes. Nothing could have prepared her for this day. She was playing it by ear now, completely against her normal method of operation.