"About dinner tonight…" Annelie began, her eyes narrowing at Carolyn's expectant look.
"Yes?"
Carolyn seemed as anxious about the future of their relationship as she was. "Is it okay if we just stay at the apartment? I'd planned for us to eat out, but on second thought, perhaps we need our privacy to talk."
Carolyn seemed to relax. "I like the idea of having you to myself." Blushing faintly, she paused before continuing. "Do you want me to… stay the night?"
"I'd love for you to stay, just like last night."
"All right." Carolyn leaned back against the leather backrest. "When do you want me?"
Annelie wanted to groan out loud at the other woman's ability to talk in double entendres. Not convinced Carolyn was unaware of it, she pushed her empty plate aside and leaned in closer across the table.
"Any time after seven o'clock."
***
Carolyn leaned down and let her fingertip lightly bounce along Annelie's CD collection. Jazz, classical, musicals, pop, and rock— Annelie had an eclectic taste in music. She selected Ella Fitzgerald, one of her favorite singers, letting the legendary voice calm her nerves.
"Good choice," Annelie said as she entered the living room carrying two large coffee mugs. "Want to sit out on the balcony?"
"Sure, it's a nice evening."
Annelie placed the coffee on a small table in front of a cane furniture suite and then walked over to a console by the door. After she pressed a few buttons, Ella's voice drowned out the distant noise of the traffic. Carolyn sat down on the soft cushions.
"Not too loud? Good." Annelie sat next to Carolyn. "It's been a while since I've been out here. I try to stay in Florida as much as I can, but I make sure the apartment is ready at a moment's notice."
"The view's wonderful." Carolyn reached for a mug and sipped the strong coffee. "Mmm, I needed this."
Annelie tilted her head to one side. "So, is it beginning to sink in yet—you playing Maddox?"
"Yes, and I meant to ask you, is it okay if I tell Beth and Joe? They won't tell anyone."
"That's fine. I trust your judgment. Does your sister know you were interested in the role?"
"I'm not sure, really. Our conversations have mostly been about her recently. So giving her something else to think about is probably a good thing."
Annelie angled her body toward Carolyn, pulling one leg up underneath her. "What does your sister do for a living?"
"Beth's a registered nurse."
"A nurse? She must possess a special kind of strength."
Carolyn stopped with the mug halfway to her mouth. "Yes," she said, "I think you're right. I guess I'm rather protective where she's concerned, since I raised her."
"I can understand that. What's her husband like?"
"Joe's a great guy and adores Beth and Pamela. He's not overly impressed with my fame, either, which makes it possible to talk to him like a human being. Actually, he treats me more like a sister than John does."
"John's an artist, isn't he?"
"Yes. I haven't seen him in a while. His choice more than mine. When he's in one of his creative phases, he treats me like a leper. You know, I'm so commercial I might contaminate his process." Carolyn smirked. "Personally, I think he's going through either a midlife crisis or a seriously delayed puberty."
Annelie smiled but didn't avert her eyes. "That's hard to take, isn't it?"
Carolyn shrugged. "Jokes aside, it feels like a rejection. I've always been proud of him and for some reason…" Her voice trailed off. "I'm not so sure he feels the same way."
Annelie reached out and took Carolyn's hand. "You have every reason to be proud of your success."
"Thanks, and I am. I've worked hard. Sometimes John seems to think I worked too hard at mothering him and Beth over the years. He was really angry after our father died."
"That was a long time ago."
"Yes, but he's still stubborn as a mule. It was easier with Beth. She just remembers losing one parent, not two."
Annelie pulled Carolyn's head onto her shoulder and encircled her with an arm. Resting her chin on Carolyn's head, she said in a low voice, "I know what it's like to lose a parent. My mother died when I was seventeen. In my case, my only parent."
"What about your father?"
"He left us when I was a little girl. I have no idea where he is. Sometimes I wonder, but I try not to dwell on it."
"That's so sad, Annelie. I'm sorry." Carolyn relaxed against her, inhaling the faint smell of lemon and enjoying the soft warmth of Annelie's skin above the neckline of her T-shirt.
"Have you thought about what we discussed last night?" Annelie asked. "About us?"
Annelie's faint tone of caution worried Carolyn. "Yes, but I wanted to tell you this first. I slept better last night than I have in a long time. Sure, I woke up a few times and didn't know where I was. But when I felt your arms around me, I went right back to sleep."
Full lips pressed against her hair, making Carolyn sigh and wrap one arm around Annelie's waist.
"I thought about you all day at work," Annelie murmured. "Margo picked up on it. She knows me so well. I told her about you. No details, of course, but she knows I'm interested. You don't have to worry. She'd never tell anyone."
"Does she know it's mutual?"
Annelie paused briefly. "Yes."
Carolyn tipped her head back, wanting to see Annelie's face. "What did she say?"
"That I should give you a chance. Give us a chance, really. She told me to form my own opinion about you."
"Smart lady. I like her."
"Margo isn't easily swayed. I could tell she was impressed by you. And I was too. It took a lot of courage to come find me yesterday."
Carolyn felt her cheeks grow warm. "I had to."
Raising a hand, Annelie traced her lover's lower lip. Suddenly finding it hard to catch her breath, Carolyn opened her mouth and inhaled deeply.
"So…" Carolyn's voice trailed off as she tried to focus. "What did you think…when you thought about me today?" She was afraid of the answer.
Annelie's hair tumbled down over her right shoulder as she turned her head to one side. As her fingers traced the arch of Carolyn's left eyebrow, she murmured, "Hearing your voice first thing in the morning. Waking up in the night, snuggled up behind you, how easily I could—" Annelie broke off.
"Could what?" Carolyn coaxed after a minute of silence.
"Could get used to you being there."
Tenderness overflowing at Annelie's apprehensive tone, Carolyn raised both hands to cup her face. "Oh, Annie," she whispered. "I don't know what to say to reassure you. I just know how right this feels, how much I want to hold on to you."
"What if you decide this isn't for you after all? What if you stumble on a man who can give you everything? What if another role comes along and you…It would hurt me so much, Carolyn. I don't think I could take it."
She knew Annelie's fear was talking, so Carolyn placed her fingertips over her lips. "Shh." Shifting on the couch, she pulled Annelie closer. "Life doesn't offer many guarantees. But I can't imagine ever feeling this way about anyone else, male or female. I've never felt this way before."
The tiny light that appeared in Annelie's eyes encouraged Carolyn to continue.
"There will always be roles I want, and I'll probably be prepared to walk through fire to get them. But I promise I won't do anything without talking with you.
"Doing the Maddox films, I'll have the luxury of being financially independent, so I can wait and pick the roles I really want. You know…I dream of going onstage again, doing a play, maybe in a small format."
"So, no big productions after Maddox?"
"Oh, I never say never—perhaps, if the script and the circumstances are right. I simply can't imagine doing anything that doesn't involve you." Carolyn felt tears sting behind her eyelids. "I'm beginning to understand I don't have to run anymore."