But Sarah’s fears miraculously disappeared.
James declared that he absolutely refused to put his beloved son in the care of William.
William looked greyer every day; Sarah was more jubilant.
“Warming-pan babies! Who ever heard of such a thing!” cried Sarah gleefully. “The man is in his dotage, and if ever I saw a fellow with one foot in the grave that man is Dutch William.”
It was a marvel to everyone that Sarah Churchill was not sent to the Tower. She must have uttered twenty treasonable statements a day. The King loathed her, but was afraid of offending the people if he attempted to interfere with Anne’s freedom, so she remained.
It was noticed that her manner towards Anne was becoming more overbearing; but since Anne voiced no objection it was presumed that the Princess accepted her friend as she was. But Anne herself was thoughtful. She liked to talk to Abigail Hill when they were alone together; she had discovered the pleasure of talking instead of listening, which was what one was obliged to do with Sarah. Abigail rarely offered an opinion unless it was pressed out of her; and then it was not to be despised. But what was so comforting was to be able to talk as though thinking aloud, and to have her murmuring assent, never contradicting.
Anne was becoming more and more addicted to these monologues and looked forward to the time when they should be alone and she might indulge in them.
When news of her father’s death reached her she was glad to talk of it to Abigail. Sarah was so impatient if she mentioned it to her; and the matter was so much on the Princess’s conscience that she had to talk of it to someone. She went into mourning; and wept a little. She knew that he had wanted her to stand aside for her half brother. This distressed her; and although she had no intention of confiding her true feelings to a chambermaid, she liked to talk to Abigail who never probed into her innermost thoughts or tried to trap her into some admission she would regret later.
“Of course, Hill,” she mused, “the King invited that boy over here and his father would not allow him to come. I don’t blame him … after what William did to him.”
“No, Madam, no one could blame him.”
“So now that he will not come there can be no doubt of my accession. And perhaps soon, for I declare William looks most grievously ill.… His asthma is quite terrifying, Hill … or it would be if one were fond of him, which it is quite … quite impossible to be. You understand that?”
“Oh yes, Madam.”
“And then he has haemorrhoids … a most distressing complaint, Hill, which makes riding so painful for him, although it would be good for his asthma. He spits blood and I have never heard anyone lived long with that, have you, Hill?”
“Never, Madam.”
“Yet he has been doing it for years and still he goes on. Then he has this swelling in the legs. Dropsy, I should think. And Dr. Radcliffe was dismissed for being a little too frank about that. Yet he goes on. But one thing I know, Hilclass="underline" he will not go on for ever and when he does die, Hill, and that boy is not here … but a Catholic in France … it will be my turn. Your mistress will be Queen of England. I often think about it and I am sometimes afraid that I shall not be a good Queen because I am not very clever, I fear, Hill. I wish that I were. I wanted children very much. I believe I was meant to be a mother. I cannot tell you, Hill, even though I know you understand me as few do … but even you cannot know what the loss of my boy meant to me. I should have been happy if all my children had lived. What a large family I should have, Hill, and the Prince says there is no reason why we should not have many more. A big family … yet. You see, he would be such a good father to them. The Prince is a kind, indulgent man, Hill. Never allow anyone to tell you otherwise. But sometimes I think that if God is to continue denying me children of my body He has a reason and it came to me last night, Hill, that I shall be the Mother of my people. When I see the crowds and they cheer me, I think they love me … more than they love William—but then of course they do not love him at all. I think they love me more than they loved my father. They see me as the Mother. Hill, if I am ever Queen of England I want to be a good Queen.”
“Your Highness will be a great Queen.”
“But I am a little ignorant, I fear. I never did my lessons as well as my sister Mary did. I would always make excuses. My eyes, you know, always troubled me and I would use that as an excuse not to study. I fear we were over-indulged as children. Perhaps we should have been forced to learn. Perhaps it is not too late.”
“It is never too late, they say, Madam.”
“You are right, Hill. I shall start preparing myself now. I shall study history because that is a subject above all others that a ruler should be conversant with. Tomorrow, Hill, you will bring me history books and I shall commence my studies.”
Abigail did as she was told and when Sarah came in and saw what was happening, she snorted her disgust. There was no need for Mrs. Morley to disturb herself. Marlborough would provide her with all the knowledge and advice she needed.
But Anne plodded on; she studied for a week or so, but confessed to Abigail that she found it all very dull and it really did give her headaches.
Abigail’s soothing fingers, massaging the brow, charmed away the headaches; and it was so much pleasanter to talk than to read.
“Sometimes I think,” said Anne, “that it is unwise to live in the past. Modern problems need modern solutions. Do you think that is right, Hill?”
“I am sure you are right, Madam.”
“Then take away these books, and bring out the cards. Call some of the others. I have a mind for a game.”
William was thoughtful as he rode in Bushey Park on his favourite mount, Sorrel. He was scarcely ever in London at this time, although occasionally he left Hampton for Kensington Palace to attend a meeting of the Council; but he was always glad to return. Sometimes he felt that it was only the need to prosecute the war in Europe which kept him going. He felt death very near at times. But there was comfort in the saddle, as there had been all his life; it was only when he was in the country that he could breathe with ease; but even riding was becoming exhausting.
Riding Sorrel, he wondered whether the horse was aware of the change of masters. Did he ever remember the man who had once ridden him? Sorrel had belonged to Sir John Fenwick, whose goods William had confiscated when Fenwick had been executed for treason. The most precious item had been this Sorrel, who had become William’s favourite companion. Horses grew to know their masters; what did Sorrel think of the change? Whimsical thoughts rarely came to William; he was a man of sound common sense; yet on this day he was thoughtful.
Fenwick had been a Jacobite and a plotter, a man who was determined to make trouble; and he had made it. Marlborough’s name had been mentioned in connection with Fenwick, and William wondered how deeply the Earl had been involved. One could never be sure with Marlborough; there was a man whom he would never trust, but whom he dared not banish.
What an uneasy reign his had been! Far better, he sometimes thought, if he had remained in Holland. He remembered happier days there, when he had subdued Mary and taken his troubles to Elizabeth Villiers, and planned the building of his beautiful Dutch Palaces. The people of Holland had loved their Stadtholder; they had cheered him when he rode through their towns and compared him with his great ancestor William the Silent who had delivered them from the cruelty of the Spaniard.
“Why, Sorrel, was I not content with my own country?” he murmured. He often talked to Sorrel, imagining the horse sympathized with him. He would never have done so within the hearing of any living person; but he fancied there was a sympathy between Sorrel and himself. “Why did I have to come to this land and rule it? It was a desire in me, Sorrel, which I could not suppress. It was because the midwife saw those three crowns at my birth. Suppose she had not seen them, would I have schemed and plotted, would I have taken the crown from James? Mary had no wish to do so. How reluctantly she came! How she used to attempt to defend her father in those early days; and how angry she made me! If I had not believed that I was destined to possess three crowns should I be in Holland now; should I be happier than I have been?”