"It's a fucking elevator," Sam said. "Just push twenty-seven."
"But that is not the lucky number."
Sam sighed and pushed the floor number, then waited while they stopped at all the floors Coyote had pushed on their way to twenty-seven.
Once in the room, Sam stripped to his shorts and fell onto one of the king-size beds. "Get some sleep if you can. I'll try and figure out how to find Calliope in the morning. I'm too tired to think now."
"You sleep," Coyote said. "I will think of a plan."
Sam didn't answer. He was already asleep.
Coyote Loses His Ass
Coyote and his friend Beaver had been hunting all day, but neither had found any game. After a while they sat down on some rocks and began talking.
"This is your fault," Coyote said. "I can always find game."
"I don't think so," Beaver said. "If you are such a good hunter, why is your wife so skinny?"
Coyote thought about his skinny wife and Beaver's fat little wife and he was jealous. "Well, how about a bet?" he said. "Tomorrow we will each go out hunting. If you get more rabbits, you can come to my lodge and sleep with my wife so you can see that my skinny wife is better. But if I get more rabbits, I get to sleep with your wife."
"Sounds fair," Beaver said.
The next day, after the hunt, Coyote came to Beaver's lodge carrying his one scrawny rabbit. "Oh, Mrs. Beaver," he called. "I've come to collect on my bet."
Mrs. Beaver called from inside the lodge. "Oh, Coyote, you are a great hunter. Mr. Beaver just stopped by with twenty rabbits on his way to your lodge. You better go stop him and tell him that you got more."
"Right," Coyote said. "I'll be right back." He slunk off to his lodge dragging his rabbit.
His wife was waiting outside. "Nice rabbit," she said.
"Beaver is inside. I'll see you in the morning." Coyote's wife went into the lodge and pulled down the door flap.
All night Coyote sat outside his lodge shivering and listening. At one point he heard his wife cry out.
"Beaver!" Coyote shouted. "Don't you hurt my wife."
"He's not hurting me," Mrs. Coyote said. "I like it!"
"Swell," Coyote said.
The next morning Beaver came out of Coyote's lodge singing and grinning. "No hard feelings, right?"
"A bet is a bet," Coyote said.
Mrs. Coyote peeked out and said, "Maybe this will teach you not to gamble."
"Right," Coyote said. Then he called to Beaver, "Hey, how about playing the hand game with me — double or nothing?"
"Sounds good," Beaver said. "Let's go down to the river."
At the river Coyote said, "This is for a night with your wife." Then he picked the wrong hand.
"You really shouldn't gamble," Beaver said.
"I'll bet you my best horse for a night with your wife," Coyote said.
After a while, Coyote had lost all his horses, his lodge, his wife, and his clothes. "One more time," he said.
"But you don't have anything left," Beaver said.
"I'll bet you my ass against everything else."
"I don't want your ass," Beaver said.
"I thought you were my friend."
"Okay," Beaver said. He hid the stone behind his back. Coyote picked the wrong hand.
"Can I borrow your knife?" Coyote said.
"I don't want your ass," Beaver said.
"A bet is a bet," Coyote said. He took Beaver's knife and cut off his ass. "Boy, that stings."
"I've got to go," Beaver said. "I'll tell your wife she can come and sleep in my lodge if she wants to." He picked up all of Coyote's things and went home.
When Coyote got home his wife was waiting. "Beaver took the lodge," she said.
"Yep," Coyote said.
"Where's your ass?" she asked.
"Beaver got that too."
"You know," she said, "there's a twelve-step program for gambling. You should look into it."
"Twelve steps." Coyote laughed. "I'll bet I can do it in six."
CHAPTER 24
Coyote in Trickster Town
Las Vegas
Coyote had been a long time in the Spirit World, where everyone knew him, so no one would gamble with him. Now that he was in Trickster Town, he wanted to make up for lost time. He waited for Sam to fall asleep, then he took the salesman's wallet and went down the elevator to the casino.
Coyote saw hundreds of shiny machines blinking, and ringing, and clanking big coins into hollow metal bowls. He saw green tables where people traded money for colorful chips and a woman in a cage who paid money for the chips. He saw a wheel with a ball that went around and around. When the ball stopped a man took everyone's chips. The key to that one, Coyote thought, is to grab your chips when you see the ball slowing down.
At one green table, a shaman with a stick chanted while players threw bones. There was much shouting and moaning after each throw and the shaman took many chips from the players. That is a game of magic, Coyote thought. I will be very good at that one. But first I must use Sam's cheating medicine on this machine.
The trickster stood by a machine that he had seen Sam win from two times. He took one of the gold cards from Sam's wallet and slipped it into the machine, then he pressed the number that he had seen Sam use. The machine beeped and spit the card out.
"Panther piss!" Coyote swore. "I've lost." He pounded on the machine, then stepped back and drew another card from Sam's wallet. He put it in the machine and pressed the number. The machine beeped and spit out the card. "Balls!" Coyote said. "This cheating medicine is no good."
A round woman in pink stretch pants who was standing behind Coyote cleared her throat and made an impatient humphing noise. Coyote turned to her. "Get your own machine. This one is mine."
The woman glared at the trickster and tapped her foot.
"Go, go, go," Coyote said, waving her away. "There are many machines to play on. I was here first. Go away."
He put another card into the machine and hunched over the keyboard so the woman would not steal his cheating medicine. He looked back over his shoulder. She was trying to see what he was doing. "Go away, woman. My cheating medicine will not help you. Even if you win you will still be ugly."
The woman wrapped the strap of her pocketbook around her wrist and wound up to swing it at Coyote. Coyote was going to turn into a flea and disappear into the carpet, but he would have had to drop Sam's wallet to do it, so he hesitated and the woman let fly.
Coyote ducked and covered his head, but the blow didn't come. Instead he heard a solid thud above his head and looked up to see a huge black hand holding the pocketbook in the air, the woman dangling from the strap at the other end. Coyote looked up further, craning his neck, until he saw a dazzling crescent moon of a smile in the face like night sky.