Walker extended his hand to me, helping me off the couch. I hugged both Liz and Jim, thanking them for a great night, breathing in their comforting love one last time.
Once the goodbyes were said, Walker hooked my arm around his elbow to stabilize me for the short trek. I could feel the booze sloshing around in my stomach as we half stumbled down the front steps. Having a strong and sturdy escort was a smart move; I was clumsily unstable in my heels. I staggered a few times, making Walker’s arm flex to stop me from face-planting onto the pavement. We giggled at my drunken, ridiculous state. In a half yawn I could barely understand, Walker stated it had been a great party.
“Yeah, it really was. It’s great to be out of my mopey darkness for a while and to have our drinking crew back together. It feels like college was a million years ago!”
“It was for me.” Walker chuckled, making me feel like a baby even though he was barely two years my senior.
“Oh right, I forgot you and Jim graduated together.” I jolted him with my elbow at my joke and playfully scowled at my remark. I rested my head on Walker’s arm for the next couple of steps, comforted by his presence.
We got to my door, and hugged good night. My head fit perfectly on his chest as he bent down a bit to rest his forehead on the top of my head. “I never realized how much shorter you are than me.”
I let out a sharp huff, “Yeah, I’m fun-sized.” As soon as the words slurred off my tongue, my entire body burned with embarrassment.
Walker’s just laughed at my remark. “Do you want me to help you inside, Tiny?” Walker’s arm was still wrapped around my waist, stabilizing me as I fumbled with the key in the door.
“No, I think I got it from here. Thank you, Mr. Jolly Green Giant.” I finally felt the lock pop open and smiled as the cool air-conditioning rushed out the door onto my hot cheeks. “I know I’ve had plenty to drink, but I’ll make it up the stairs just fine.” I stared into Walker’s beautiful eyes and took a moment to relish how warm and inviting they were. A shiver rushed up my spine, but I ignored it, chalking it up to the Jack Daniels.
Walker gave me a peck on the cheek, letting it linger longer than usual, “Sleep well, Half Pint.” He slurred, “Tonight was fun. I missed seeing you like that.” His voice turned huskier as the words trailed, letting a glint of lust flicker between us.
Breathlessly, I watched his lips and eyes for a moment, shaking off the desire to fill the void of loneliness only when Walker turned to head back down the block. I stayed on my front porch for a few seconds, watching him walk down the dew-dampened street, wishing he would turn back around and hold me all night. He did the right thing and kept walking.
When Walker came home from his deployment, soon after Randy’s death, the McManus’ took him in. Liz always said it was for Walker’s own good to get back on his feet there, but I always thought she did it more for selfish reasons. Walker was so much like Randy that Jim and Liz seemed to feel like it was the closest thing they could get to have their son home. Whatever the reason, I was thankful to have all three of them were so close. I knew sometimes my friendship with Walker crossed some sort of line, and Walker tried his best to balance our friendship while respecting the parents of my dead husband.
Turning the lock to my oak front door, loneliness settled in, cuddling up with the whiskey coursing through my brain, and they were not mixing well. I barely made it to my bathroom before my entire stomach emptied. For an hour, I dry-heaved on my bathroom floor, wishing I could have had one of my famous blackouts. Instead, I remembered every minute of the sickness and my terrible, lustful longings for a man I should never want.
3
Off in the distance of reality, I heard an awfully annoying buzzing noise, forcing me farther and farther from my dreamless sleep. The sound got louder in my ear until I registered that I was lying on the cold tile of my bathroom floor with my phone vibrating at me to wake up. I groggily propped myself up on one elbow, pressing the answer button just in the nick of time. “Hey Walker, what’s going on?” My voice croaked from my whiskey burnt throat, making me cough a little. My cottonmouth was unbearable and I had to force my tongue free from the roof of my mouth.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re up for work since it’s eight and the truck is still in the driveway.” It took a moment for the words to float from his deep, velvety voice into my brain and when they sank in, I gasped.
Hastily, I jumped to my feet, my head angry with my exertion, “Oh no! Thank you! I overslept! Man, I owe you one.”
Before I could hear his reply, I hung up the phone and flew up the stairs, racing to get to work on time. I worked an hour away at Florida Hospital South, in the human resources department, and had to be there by nine. Usually, I left by seven-thirty just in case there was traffic. Tardiness was not in my vocabulary, and the sheer thought of it sent me into a near panic attack.
My job, for the most part, was decent. I considered myself to be a paper pusher. Originally, I thought human resources would be an interesting job where I would get to help people. Now, I just considered it an easy way to pass time and pay the bills. I was bored throughout most of my day, doing tedious tasks, but everyone was cordial and mostly left me alone, which was perfect.
To calm myself from the traffic that I was cursing out loud at, I dialed Cali. She and I commuted at the same time every morning, working pretty much down the street from each other, and we sometimes caught up on gossip for the hour’s drive. I just had to be hopeful she would be available. She had been on a business trip for the last two weeks. Thankfully, after one short ring, Cali’s sugary, spunky voice came over the line. “Hey, Mags. How’s traffic for you this morning?”
I sighed and told her about my late night, and how lucky I was Walker woke me up.
“Well, I’m glad you had a good time. I’m fixing to head to the airport in an hour or so. Kyle had a late night last night so he’ll be off tonight when I get in. You’re off the hook.” I was thankful Cali’s husband was going to pick her up from the airport because I’d practically forgotten offering to play chauffeur.
“That’s great, I’m glad you’re finally coming home. I’ve missed you, Cal!” It would bring a little bit of relief to have her back in town. “I’m jealous you don’t have to work today. I’m hung-over as all hell!”
Cali giggled at my discomfort and mocked me a little before we ended our chat, as I pulled into the parking lot at work.
Kyle, Cali’s husband, was an Orange County Sheriff's Deputy. I had never cared for his arrogance, his vulgar comments, how he always accused Cali of cheating on him, or how selfish he seemed to be with Cali’s time, but she was head over heels enamored by him. Mostly, I think her affection came from how attractive Kyle was; he was Herculean. Perfect ice blue eyes, sandy blonde hair, very tall, overly toned muscles; everything Cali wanted. She always said in college that she needed to find a blonde haired, blue-eyed guy so they would have blonde haired, blue-eyed babies. She had natural strawberry blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and the perfect hint of olive in her skin tone, so her wish was probably going to come true.