He nodded, looking mildly relieved.
The server came by and we placed our order. Grilled salmon for Ben and a chicken Caesar salad for me.
I couldn’t help the burning questions still in my head. I wanted to move forward with him, but before I fully could, I knew I needed more answers. I took a sip of my wine for fortification. “Ben . . .”
“Hmm?”
“Was that the only, uh . . . time that Fiona spent the night with you in Paris?”
He reached across the table and took my hand, his thumb rubbing the back of my knuckles. “Yeah, baby. It was just that one time. She was sobbing and upset, so I couldn’t turn her away. I promise you, it wasn’t a regular occurrence.”
I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Okay. It’s just that you two were alone in Paris for three weeks without me. And I just feel like I don’t know what else might have happened.”
He shook his head, bringing my hand to his mouth and pressing a sweet kiss to the back of it. “Don’t. Don’t do that. I don’t want you playing the what-if game, replaying all the possible horrible scenarios in your brain. I was faithful to you, in my heart and in my head. I was too drunk to realize what was happening, and my body got used against me. It’s no excuse and I’ve regretted that night every day since then. It wasn’t clear to me at the time, but looking back, I know Fiona’s plan had been to seduce me. I never should have opened that door for her. What I woke up to in the middle of the night . . .”
I snatched my hand away. “Ben. Please, not so much detail. It still hurts to think about that night.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just thought it might help if you knew more about the situation.”
I drew a shaky breath. “You’re right. It might. But just not right now. I think I’d need more wine for that conversation and I don’t want to cry in public, so let’s just enjoy our meal.”
Fiona had been a constant source of tension in our short relationship so far. I didn’t trust her. And I hated that Ben had a weakness where she was concerned. It drove me mad, actually. But accepting him and moving forward with this relationship meant putting up with her. Something I wasn’t sure I could do successfully.
The mood between us had changed, grown tense by the time our food was delivered.
“Are you okay?” Ben asked.
I nodded. “I’ll be fine.”
We ate much of the meal in silence, though his intense gaze often rested on mine. It wasn’t my intention to create this silent, tense moment but I wasn’t sure how to get back to the easy, flirty banter we used to share.
I wondered if perhaps we weren’t meant to have a relationship. Maybe we were nothing more than a fling of convenience, two people living in close quarters who shared a brief, albeit intense, connection.
While Ben paid the check, I excused myself for the ladies room. He met me in the back corridor and escorted me out to the curb. I wasn’t sure when he’d called Henry—must have been when I was in the restroom—but his black car was parked along the curb, right in front of the restaurant. This guy was like a ninja, always appearing just in time. It was baffling to me. I’d never known anyone with a car and driver.
Ben turned to face me, cupping my face in his big palms. “I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry I ruined dinner. I was trying to take you on a proper date but perhaps it was thoughtless of me. I should have taken you someplace private where we could’ve talked more.”
The sincere look in his deep-set hazel eyes just about undid me. I’d told him I wanted to go on proper dates and then I’d shut down on him in the restaurant, unable to handle the skeletons in his closet that he was willing to be so open about. “No. The date was nice. Thank you for showing me a place that you went to with your mom. That means a lot to me.”
He smiled and kissed my lips softly. “You’re welcome. I want to share pieces of New York and how I grew up with you.” He kissed my forehead. “Come on, let’s get in the car and get you out of the cold.”
Ben opened the door and I slid across the backseat, allowing him to ease in next to me. Having him close enough that I could smell his cologne was distracting. My body responded instantly to that scent, heart fluttering like a giddy idiot, my palms beginning to sweat.
Ben
I hadn’t instructed Henry about where we were going just yet but he pulled into traffic, seeming to understand that I needed a moment to talk to Emmy. Guy code or something.
“What’s going on inside that pretty head, baby?” I laced my fingers with hers.
She swallowed a lump in her throat, slowly turning to face me. “It’s just . . . maybe we aren’t compatible in New York.”
Whoa. Where was this coming from? “Of course we are. We know we’re compatible physically, emotionally, and intellectually, so why should it matter what city we’re in? I’ll move us both to Paris tomorrow if you think our relationship works better there.”
Her mouth softened, curling into a smile, and I brought her hand to my lips, leaving a damp kiss there.
I couldn’t seem to stop touching her. My hand rested against her thigh, clad in black leggings. I wanted to kiss whoever invented these body-hugging things. I bet her ass would look amazing. I wanted to peel them down her legs with my teeth, exposing inch by creamy inch of her skin. “Will you come home with me?”
Her eyes lifted to mine and she blinked in rapid succession, thinking it over. “Just to talk?”
I couldn’t lie to her. Not with those pretty grayish-blue eyes locked on mine, looking so sweet and innocent. “We can talk if you want. But I want you to stay the night.”
She bit down on her bottom lip, her teeth leaving an impression in the plump flesh. Shit. It was getting me hard. “Okay, I can stay over again . . . but I was serious when I said we needed to take our time, date, and go slow.”
I trailed my hand higher up her thigh, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. “If you won’t let me fuck you, can I at least taste your pussy, baby?”
Emmy let out a tiny whimper and her gaze shot forward to Henry. He wasn’t paying us any attention. I paid him enough to forget whatever he’d seen and overheard throughout the years. “He’s not listening,” I whispered.
“Ben . . .” she groaned, squirming against the leather seat.
I absolutely fucking loved how I could get her hot so easily. I loved watching her response to me. This was way better than texting with her. “We’re dating, baby, we’re allowed to have some fun, aren’t we?” I ran my nose along the curve of her neck, my warm breath causing her skin to respond by breaking out in chill bumps.
She swallowed and gripped the seat beside her.
“Henry, just one stop. My place,” I instructed.
Emmy
Ben lived in a historic district in the city with rows of beautifully ornate Victorian homes that had long ago been split into apartments. His was in a quaint redbrick building with a doorman and a red carpet on the sidewalk leading into the foyer. It was very classy and felt safe in an upscale area popular with small families and wealthy bachelors. It suited him perfectly.
We thanked Henry and greeted the night doorman before heading for the elevator.
Once we reached Ben’s apartment he tugged me inside, not bothering to turn on the lights. He pressed my back against the wall and lowered his mouth to mine. The moonlight drifting in through the big picture windows and Ben’s muscular body pressing into mine caused a moan to escape my throat. He deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking mine so hypnotically. His hips pressed forward, pinning me against the wall, and his hands roamed down my sides, gliding over my hips.