I called him, but when he finally answered, I was already at the club, and apparently he was out of town-Texas-with his folks. He sounded real disappointed and said he’d make it up to me when he got back. I said, sure, we’d get together. Of course, I lied. I knew what I was doing as I ponied up to the bar and let some guy buy me a drink. I was alone, I was missing the Baumgartners, and I was looking for any way I could to remedy that. If it meant getting drunk and bringing another strange guy home, then that was what I was going to do.
I sat at the bar, sipping my mojito, and hunted the place with my gaze. I skipped over the couples. They were easy to spot. Not because they were kissing or dancing close, but because they stood near each other, almost touching, familiar, but didn’t talk. Their eyes were mostly on other people. I ignored the dancers too. Most had already found a willing victim for the night’s main event. Instead, I scanned the periphery. I was looking for a wallflower, a shy one, someone who would jump at the chance to go home in my Saturn and do just what I told him to.
Several guys approached while I sat there, but I rebuffed them. If they were confident enough to come up to me, they weren’t what I was looking for. I went through two more drinks-paid for by two other guys-and finally decided to take a break and headed to the restroom. I smiled, remembering standing in line with Mrs. B. The line wasn’t as long tonight.
When I came out of the stall to wash my hands, there was only one sink empty. I squeezed in, pumping pink suds into my palms, completely oblivious to my surroundings until she spoke.
“Hi, Gretchen.”
I looked up, meeting her gaze in the mirror. She was putting on mascara and looked incredible.
“Hi, Ronnie.”
I thought that would be it. My heart was in my throat. I grabbed some paper towel, expecting her to be gone when I turned around. But she was there. Right behind me. Close enough to touch. And I wanted to touch her. God help me, I did.
“Can we talk?”
“Here?” I looked around the bathroom, dubious.
“Out there?” she suggested, wrinkling her nose. Of course, that was out. Too much noise and confusion. Then she looked at me again and grabbed my hand. It was soft and warm and familiar and instantly broke my heart. “Got your car?”
I nodded. “Won’t Vince miss you?”
“I’m here with friends. Let me tell them. I’ll meet you right outside.”
Of course I thought she was going to ditch me. I shivered outside-still sweaty from all the body heat and I hadn’t brought a coat-and figured I’d wait for fifteen minutes and then go home and lick my wounds. But that isn’t what happened at all. Ronnie showed up, just like she said she would, shivering herself, although she’d been smart enough to bring a jacket. Her skirt was almost as short as mine.
“Let’s go, I’m freezing.” Ronnie’s teeth chattered all the way to the parking lot. I unlocked the Saturn’s doors and we got in. I started the car to turn on the heat. Late November in Michigan was cold-cold enough to snow, although it wasn’t.
“Better?” I asked, directing the vents in her direction as the air turned from cool to lukewarm. It wouldn’t be long and it would heat up.
“Thanks.” She gave me a shy, heartbreaking smile. “So… how are you?”
How was I?
“Good.” Lying seemed to be the best course of action until I knew what she wanted. Because I was sure she wanted something. “So what’s up?”
“Oh… nothing.” Seems we were both into the lying thing.
“How’s Vince?”
“Um… good.” She shrugged, tucking her dark hair behind her ear, gaze scanning the parking lot.
“Still seeing him?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, looking down at her hands in her lap. “Listen. Gretchen, I just wanted to tell you… I’m sorry.”
“Right. You said that before.” I leaned back in the driver’s seat, remembering how it had all ended. She’d tearfully confessed and apologized profusely when I told her I’d seen her and Vince together. Then, in a stunning turn of events, at least on my end, she had been both shocked and horrified by my idea of sharing him. In the end, she’d been the one angry at me, instead of the other way around.
“I know, but…” She picked at one of her cuticles. Her nails were painted a pretty shade of turquoise. “Well, I told you something that wasn’t exactly true.”
“You lied?” Why wasn’t I surprised?
“I just… I wanted you to know that I thought about it.” She looked over at me in the light of a street lamp, half her face in shadow. “What you wanted.”
“You, me and him?” The unholy trinity.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “The thing is… I didn’t say no.”
“I’m pretty sure screaming ‘are you out of your fucking mind’ and slapping me across the face is a pretty standard, universal sign for ‘no.’”
“I didn’t,” Ronnie pleaded. “I mean, I know… I know I said that. I did a horrible thing. I’m sorry. I said I was sorry.”
“You did,” I agreed.
“But after… I thought about it.” She lifted her face to mine and I saw the tears she was trying to hold back. That melted me a little. “I missed you so much. And… so I asked him.”
This I hadn’t known. Ronnie, as far as I knew, had made the choice herself. She didn’t want me, she wanted Vince. She’d made that absolutely, stingingly clear.
“And what did he say?”
“He said he didn’t want to share me.” She dropped her head again and I saw tears fall into her lap.
“Well…” I couldn’t help it. I touched, her, reaching out and running a hand down over her scalp, through her long, dark hair, letting my fingers get tangled. “I guess I can’t blame him.”
“You mean that?” She sniffed, glancing up at me.
“No.” I snorted, my hand falling to her lap, squeezing hers in mine. “I think he’s an insecure asshole, but what do I know?”
She smiled. “He’s talking about marrying me.”
“Whoa, that was fast.” I blinked in surprise. You’d think Mr. Monster Porn Cock would want to take his pony on a few more rides before putting on a saddle and bridle.
“I know.” Ronnie’s hand trembled in mine.
“Are you cold?” I asked, reaching to turn up the heat.
“No.” She shook her head, meeting my eyes again, still shy.
“Why are you shivering?”
“I don’t know.” She dropped her gaze again, shaking her head. More lies. But I didn’t press her. I just said what was true.
“I miss you, Ronnie.” I lifted her hand to my cheek, turning and kissing her palm. “I still love you. I always will.”
“I miss you too,” she said, but pulled her hand back into her lap, swallowing and looking out the window at a car pulling into the lot. “So are you still in the apartment?”
“No. I’m living with the Baumgartners.” I knew that would surprise her, and it did.
“Really?”
“Yeah. They’ve got a baby.” Another surprise. “They needed a live-in nanny.”
“Mrs. B had a baby?” Ronnie’s jaw was practically on the floor.
“Foster care,” I explained. “Adopted. Or, she will be.”
“Oh. Wow.” She looked like she didn’t quite believe me. “So you’ve got the night off then?”
“They went to Doc’s parents’ place for Thanksgiving.”
“Oh.” She licked her lips and then asked, “When do they get home?”
I knew that look in her eyes and my body responded instantly.
“Not until Sunday.” I waited, my breath held. I knew I shouldn’t encourage her. I should have lied. But I couldn’t help myself. Just looking at her legs, crossed like that, her skirt riding high, made my heart race.
She hesitated, biting her lip. “So you’re all alone?”
“I’ve been alone since you left.” I put one finger on her knee, sliding my fingernail up her pantyhose. It left a long run in her stockings as I traced up her thigh, pushing her skirt as I went.