“I could ask you the same thing.”
He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Why are you here?”
His attitude towards me was rattling but I wasn’t going to let his cool demeanor scare me off.
“I want to know why you’re doing this, Heath?” I cocked my head slightly to the side. “You don’t answer my calls, my texts …”
“It’s been a busy week.”
I’m not a hysterical type of girl. So I wasn’t going to react to his obvious lie with anything other than calmness. I got straight to the point.
“Why are you treating me like this? How can you just cast me aside like … like all the others?”
He flinched, his brows drawing in, and took a quick step towards me. “It’s not like that. You’re not like that …” He stopped himself and took a step back. As if standing too close to me was dangerous. “You should go.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Not until you tell me what’s going on.”
His beautiful blue eyes finally found mine. They softened and for a moment it was the old Heath standing in front of me. But then they filled with an emotion I couldn’t put a finger on and they looked pained.
“Please …” he begged quietly.
I crossed the space between us and threw my arms around him, pulling him close as I pressed my face into his neck.
“I miss you Heath. You’re my best friend. Please don’t … please don’t end this.”
His big arms pulled me closer and I felt his body relax as he held me tight against him. His scent and warmth engulfed me and I squeezed my eyes shut. I could feel the strong width of his biceps around me, holding me against the wall of muscle that was his body. And it felt like home. It felt right. And I wanted to tell him that maybe, maybe we were wrong, maybe we could try … To hell with Georgia and college and my parents. To hell with the naysayers and everyone who said we’d never work. To hell with it all! None of it mattered because this was right. Being in his arms was right.
But I didn’t. Afraid of his rejection, I said none of that. Because the heat of humiliation from the other night was still on my skin.
Heath pushed me away and said, “You need to leave.”
“Heath,” I objected but he lost his patience with me.
“Jesus Christ Harlow. Don’t you get it?”
His tone made me frown and my voice rose. “No, no I don’t, Heath. I don’t understand this at all! Why don’t you explain it to me?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know how else to put it.” He looked pained. Frustrated. Agitated. “You need to move on. Okay? I don’t want you Harlow.”
His words, like a Tyson punch to the side of the head, punched the fight right out of me.
“You don’t mean that.” I whispered, feeling the sudden onset of heartache rise in my throat.
Through my hurt I saw him suck in a deep breath and frown.
“What is it going to take for you to understand, Harlow?” His jaw flinched and his fists clenched at his side. “I. Don’t. Want. You. Around.”
Another Tyson blow. This time to the belly where it winded me and left me breathless.
“I don’t understand.” Feeling dazed by his rejection I stood very still. “You’re breaking up with me?”
He looked frustrated. “We were never together!”
“I thought you were … that we were best—”
The thought dawned on me like an approaching tsunami. Heath had played me. We weren’t best friends. We never had been. He had played me just like he played every other girl he encountered. Now that he knew I wanted him, now the challenge of the chase was over, he wasn’t interested in me anymore.
It was hard to process and my brain struggled. Fucking asshole.
I looked up at him. My eyes wet. He was casting me aside.
“Just like that?”
“Yeah, just like that.”
The hurt in me bubbled over but my eyes never left his shimmering blue gaze. We stared at each other without speaking. And in that moment my proud little heart broke in half.
I fixed him with my most hateful look. “Fuck you, Heath.”
It was all I could manage. But it seemed fitting.
And just to back it up I shoved him—a good, you’re a fucking asshole shove to the chest—before I stormed out.
Just like the others.
Just like all those girls he’d fucked over before me.
Chapter Nine HEATH
There was no point trying to pull me out of my morose because it wasn’t possible.
She rubbed my arm, my back, my hand.
She being my sister Nikki. We were sitting on the porch steps.
“That’s because you are being an asshole,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“That isn’t helping.”
“It’s not meant to. I don’t want you to feel better. I want you to see that you’re being an asshole.”
“It’s called self-preservation.”
She scoffed. “Oh purleeese.” She gave me a playful shove in the shoulder. “It’s called being a jerk and you know it. This girl adores you. You adore her. She isn’t asking anything of you, other than you be a good friend to her.”
Nikki pulled her long hair over one shoulder. “But you’re in love with her, aren’t you Heath? This is what it’s about. You’re in love with her and it terrifies you.”
Reluctantly I found her blue eyes. I didn’t need to say anything. Nikki knew me too well. She didn’t need me confirming nothing.
She sighed. “And you think pushing her away is going to fix how you feel about her?”
I shrugged.
“I’ll tell you what it’s going to do, it’s going to send her running straight into the arms of that guy she’s been seeing.”
My head shot up to look at her. “What?”
“You just rejected her.” She put her arm around my shoulder. “You just took yourself out of the picture and left a clear path for her. And that path leads straight to the other guy.”
Nikki is two years younger than me. Sometimes I think she’s the older, more sensible one when she comes out with this kind of shit.
Because she was right.
Like a fool, I had just pushed Harlow right into Dean’s more than willing arms.
Goddamn it! If he laid a finger on her I was going to have to hurt him.
“When did the fight fall out of you?” Nikki asked.
“What do you mean?”
She looked disappointed. “You’re a fighter, Heath Dillinger. Why aren’t you fighting for her?”
I couldn’t answer. Why wasn’t I? Why wasn’t I fighting for the girl I had fallen for?
“Because she isn’t my girl.”
Nikki shook her head. “She became your girl the moment you fell in love with her.”
Oh fuck. My sister was right.
She took my chin in her hand and turned my face to her. “You do love her, don’t you?”
When I paused—because I have never been in love before—she shook my chin and repeated the question.
Did I love Harlow?
Was it even fucking possible for me to fall in love with someone?
And then I saw her. In my head. Every single fucking amazing thing about her.
“I’m batshit crazy in love with her,” I whispered.
Nikki smiled broadly. “Then you need to do whatever it takes and make her your girl. Do you understand me brother? Stop being a dipshit and go get that girl.”
* * * * *
HARLOW
Heath was still on my mind when I got ready for my evening with Dean and his friends.
You are going to have a good time tonight, I reminded my reflection in the mirror as I applied another coat of red lipstick and then stepped back.
My dress was black, short and clung to every curve. Definitely the type of dress that would raise Heath’s pulse. Not that it mattered, because I wasn’t friends with Heath anymore. Which was good, because he was an asshole.