But it didn’t matter how busy we got; all night my eyes kept straying in the direction of the doorway for any sign of Heath. Or if I grabbed an order from the kitchen, when I walked back out I would automatically scan the room for him.
But he never showed and the end of my shift I was exhausted.
Of course, the guys were the last to leave. They hung around until closing and even then it took Fat Tony throwing them out for them to leave.
“We’re going to the Sugar Shack, want to come?” Piper asked.
“I’m beat. I think I’ll just head home.” It was exhausting being a paranoid loser. “But we can catch up tomorrow, yeah?”
“You should go, H.” Leo interrupted. “You need some time out.”
“Oh yeah?” Piper looked at me suspiciously. “What’s up?”
I shot Leo a warning look. Which of course, he ignored.
“Our H girl has been burning the candle at both ends. I think she needs to be reminded of how to have some fun.” Leo said.
“Is that true?” Piper looped her arm through mine. “Come on. Come out for one drink. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
Seeing her face, and not looking forward to spending the rest of my night alone with my imagination and paranoia, I nodded. “Sure. One drink. Why not.”
Fortunately, I had a change of clothes in the staff bathroom and quickly slipped into a pair of jeans and a cropped white t-shirt. We had to catch a couple of cabs to the Sugar Shack and by the time we arrived, it was almost midnight.
In the cab I was dying to ask Piper about Heath, but wanted to wait until we were alone. I didn’t want the guys to think I was still hung up on him. No one mentioned him. Or our breakup. And I felt more at ease to think they were none the wiser.
The Sugar Shack was a club in town. It was busy with the Saturday night crowd and when we entered an acoustic Nirvana song was playing. We were lucky to find a table towards the far side of the club.
“Drink?” Jesse asked Piper and me and then disappeared into the crowd.
“So, did you miss me?” Armie asked, sliding up next to me and flashing me his cheeky grin. He was wearing his glasses, which made him look like Science Geek meets Hell Boy.
I put my arm around him. “I always miss you when you’re not around, Armie.”
“Of course you do. I always said you were a very … very smart girl.” He was slurring a little bit. But he was so endearing. I adored him. He just loved to have a good time. Knowing he and the rest of the band were back in town helped fill the big fat hole in my chest. It helped. But did not completely fill it.
He rested his head on my shoulder.
Jesse returned with the drinks, but he came back to the table with an odd look on his face. I noticed it pass between Piper and him and straight away felt unsettled. I didn’t say anything. But I knew what it was about. It was Heath. And he was here.
“Shots!” Zack announced arriving at the table with a tray of shot glasses. Seeing another silent conversation pass between Piper and Jesse, I decided to go and see for myself. Armie handed me a shot and I threw it back for good luck before heading into the crowd.
It didn’t take me long to find him.
He was at the bar.
And he was with a girl.
Of course she was barely dressed and she was all over him. Granted, he wasn’t touching her. They were talking and he was smiling and God, those dimples. I had to suck in a deep breath. Seeing him, finally after six weeks, it made me weak. But seeing him with her summoned the return of my anger.
As if sensing my presence, he scanned the room until his eyes zeroed in on mine and for one crazy moment we were locked together in our little world, just staring at one another.
Until the video vamp next to him broke the spell and intimately turned his chin, compelling him to look at her.
I closed my eyes as the heartbreak crashed over me.
I didn’t need to put myself through any more of this. I fled the club and stormed outside. But Heath was right on my heels and as I reached the street he spun me around.
“It’s not what you think.”
“It never is,” I cried as six weeks of pent up emotion bubbled to the surface and erupted out of my mouth. I yanked my arm free.
“I can’t win with you. No matter what I do, you’re always going to hate me for what happened in Vegas,” he cried.
“That’s not true!”
We had gone from zero to yelling at each other in mere seconds.
“Then what was that? Jesus Christ Harlow, I wasn’t doing anything but talk to a girl at the bar. Why do you care anyway? You don’t want me anymore.”
His words hit me like a giant slap to the face. I wrapped my arms around my chest and looked away, trying to stop the tears in my eyes from falling, afraid my emotions would betray me and he would see my heartache all over my face.
But it was too late.
When I looked up, I saw the confusion settle across his face.
“Is that why you’re upset with me?” he asked with disbelief.
I looked away, my heart thundering against my chest.
“Harlow—” I could hear the hope in his voice.
He covered the steps between us and grabbed me by the arms. His forehead fell to mine and his breath was warm and sweet against my cheek. I closed my eyes and inhaled the familiar scent of him, breathing in the comfort of him. My heart ached as every pore craved to be with him.
Being that close to him weakened me. There was so much to say. To do. But I wanted nothing more than to feel those strong arms embrace me, and hold me tight once again against the warmth of his body.
Every reason I had used to convince myself to stay away from him was quickly becoming no reason at all.
“Are you telling me there is hope?” he asked with quiet desperation. “Please baby, tell me you want me back and I’m yours.” His hands found my face. “Tell me you’re mine or –” He frowned with pain. “I can’t keep doing this. It’s killing me. Every time I see you I die a little more inside. Tell me you love me or set me free.”
There was almost no space between our lips. Only one small raise of my chin and our mouths would meet in a kiss I was desperate to feel. His breath was a soft whisper against my lips and before I could stop myself I tilted my head back further so we were almost touching.
The door to the Sugar Shack opened and broke the spell.
“Heath…?”
I turned to see the girl from the bar standing in the doorway wearing little more than a pissed off look on her face.
Suddenly those reasons to stay away from Heath had reappeared as large as life.
In that moment she encompassed everything I was afraid of. She represented every girl, every groupie, every barely clothed she-devil that would come between us in the future.
I couldn’t do it. The pain was still too raw. I looked at the girl leaning against the doorway like a Wild West saloon whore and took a step back. It was too soon.
“No—” Heath whispered desperately.
How many more of these girls would I have to endure if I went back to him?
Heath knew what I was thinking and what was coming because he started to shake his head.
“Baby, don’t—” he pleaded.
My voice broke as it caught the lump in my throat. “Consider yourself set free.”
He took a step back as if I’d punched him. The agony on his face quickly turned to despair.
“Again?” he said disbelievingly. “You’re rejecting me again?”
I wanted to yell “no” but I had to protect my heart from being broken again.
He inhaled deeply and his nostrils flared as he slowly dragged his teeth across his bottom lip.
I could see the hurt and anger collide within him. He couldn’t have looked more hurt if I’d hit him with a sledgehammer.
He stepped forward, his eyes bright with anger.
“You’re setting me free?” He could barely contain himself. “Just like that? Knowing how I feel about you? Knowing how much I love you? Knowing how much this hurts me?” His eyes hastily searched my face as his anger rose. He stepped closer. He was furious and when he spoke his voice was dangerously low. “Fine. You don’t want me anymore? You want to set me free … fine! I’m free.” He banged his chest. “I’m done. Do you hear me? I’m done. You won’t have to worry about me fucking up your life anymore.”