“What about Silverkit?” Brambleberry’s question took him by surprise.
“Sunfish is looking after her, isn’t she?”
“I’m sure she’d like to see her father.”
“Later.” Crookedstar leaped up the bank. “I have patrols to organize.”
Beetlenose swam through the reeds and hopped onto the shore. Water streamed from his crow-black pelt. A minnow dangled from his jaws.
“Is that for Sunfish?” Shimmerpelt called. “Should I take it to her?”
Beetlenose shook his head and headed for the nursery. Crookedstar watched from the shade of the willow. He guessed Beetlenose wanted to see Vixenkit and Grasskit. The black tom had been padding proudly around the camp ever since his kits had been born, making excuses to visit the nursery every chance he could.
Shimmerpelt crossed the clearing and sat beside Crookedstar. “Why don’t you go visit Silverkit?” she prompted.
“It’ll be too crowded.” Crookedstar watched Beetlenose disappear into the den.
A quarter moon had passed since Willowbreeze had died. The Clan still trod quietly around him, careful of his grief. But he was determined to prove that Hailstar had made the right choice, and that he could lead the Clan whatever happened. He was happy Sunfish had kitted, providing littermates for his motherless daughter. Silverkit had a family of her own now. She didn’t need him. And with leaf-bare just around the next bend, there was so much to do. He was far too busy to visit the nursery. He signaled to Petaldust and Frogleap with his tail. They were weaving reeds into the elders’ den to strengthen it for the coming cold moons.
“What is it?” Frogleap hurried down the slope and crossed the clearing. Petaldust finished tucking in the end of a stray reed before trotting after him.
“The fresh-kill pile’s looking a bit bare,” Crookedstar meowed to Frogleap. “Take Reedtail, Leopardfur, and Blackclaw hunting.” He turned to Petaldust. “I’d like you to take Cedarpelt, Softwing, and Rippleclaw to check the Sunningrocks boundary.”
Petaldust shifted her paws. “Timberfur checked it this morning.”
“Then check it again!” Crookedstar snapped.
Shimmerpelt got to her paws and headed toward the elders’ den. “I’d better finish weaving those reeds,” she meowed. There was a trace of disapproval in her tone but Crookedstar ignored it. Warriors shouldn’t question his orders.
He crossed the clearing, kicking through the willow leaves littering the ground. He slowed as he passed the nursery.
Beetlenose hopped out. “Silverkit is quite a pawful, but so cute!” Purring, he dived into the reeds at the edge of the clearing.
Crookedstar pricked his ears, leaning closer to the nursery wall. He could hear tiny paws scrabbling across the reed nest.
“I’m the biggest! I get to go first!”
That must be Silverkit. He wondered how much she’d grown. Were her markings like Willowbreeze’s?
“Sunfish! She won’t let me into the nest.”
“Hush, Vixenkit,” Sunfish soothed. “She’ll let you in if you ask nicely.”
Silverkit piped up again. “I’m just trying to make you grow,” she squeaked. “Oh, hurry up and get bigger! I want to go out and explore the camp!”
Crookedstar heard paws scuff on the ground behind him. He turned, surprised to see Oakheart.
“Why don’t you go in and see her?” Oakheart meowed.
“I’ve got other things to worry about.”
“Really?” Oakheart’s ear twitched. “You can’t avoid her forever, you know. She’s going to be racing around camp playing hunt the frog before you know it.” He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you want her to know who her father is?”
Crookedstar scowled. “What? Like your kits knew who their father was?”
Oakheart flinched. “That was different. I was always there for them, hunting for them, playing with them. Silverkit hardly knows you exist.”
“Leave me alone.” Crookedstar turned away. “It’s none of your business.”
Oakheart ducked in front of him. “Actually it is my business.” He thrust his muzzle closer. “You’re my littermate! Silverkit is my kin, too! You’re being a fish-brain and every cat knows it. I’m just the only cat brave enough to tell you.”
“Brave? You?” Crookedstar snorted. “You couldn’t even tell me that Bluefur was expecting your kits. If she hadn’t dumped them on you so she could be deputy, it’d still be a secret.”
“Really?”
“Really!” Crookedstar flexed his claws. “Don’t pretend you understand how I feel, because you don’t!”
“No, I don’t!” Oakheart spat back. “But I do understand there’s a kit in there whose father doesn’t want anything to do with her.” His pelt bristled. “How can you lead a Clan when you won’t even take responsibility for your own kit?”
“Like you did?”
“Like I’ve done!” Oakheart glared at him. “I don’t know how you can let her grow up thinking you don’t love her.” He turned away, shaking his head. “You, more than anyone, should know how terrible that feels. But you’re doing it to your own kit.”
Fury exploded inside Crookedstar. “How dare you accuse me of that?” Hissing, he lunged at Oakheart and flung him to the ground. Oakheart yowled in rage and swiped at Crookedstar’s muzzle.
Crookedstar gasped as Oakheart’s claws raked his cheek. “You snake-heart!” Rearing up on his haunches, he slammed his front paws down on to Oakheart’s chest. Oakheart grunted and rolled away, springing to his paws. He crouched down, facing Crookedstar with his tail swishing, eyes like slits.
“Stop them!” Shimmerpelt raced across the clearing.
Timberfur shot out from the warriors’ den and circled them, bristling.
“Let them fight!” Mudfur called his Clanmates away. “Sometimes it’s the only way.”
Crookedstar glared at his brother and growled, “I’m nothing like Rainflower. I’m doing what’s best for Silverkit!”
“I bet Rainflower thought she was doing the right thing, too!” Oakheart hissed. “I bet she made excuses just like you.”
“That’s not true!” Crookedstar sprang, kicking out his hind legs, slashing with his forepaws in a move he had seen being practiced over and over, in a forest where the trees were gray and slimy and starlight never broke through the leaves.
What am I doing?
Horror seized him as he realized he was about to use Thistleclaw’s killing move on his brother. He writhed in the air, twisting just in time, and thumped clumsily on to the ground.
Oakheart stood over him. “Finished?” he snarled.
Crookedstar looked up at him. Grief tightened his throat. “How can I love her when every cat I love dies?”
Oakheart’s eyes clouded. “I’m still here.”
Crookedstar got slowly to his paws. “You’re here for now.”
Oakheart stared at him. “It’s a risk every cat has to take. Would you rather have no feelings at all? Do you wish you’d never loved Willowbreeze?” His mew trembled. “Where’s your courage, Crookedstar?”
A squeak sounded from the nursery. “Sunfish! Sunfish!” Silverkit was staring from the entrance, her eyes stretched wide. “The big warriors are fighting!”
Oakheart nudged Crookedstar. “Go on,” he whispered.
Taking a deep breath, Crookedstar forced himself to walk toward the nursery. When you feel doubt, let your heart lead you forward, not back. Hailstar’s words echoed in his ears. StarClan had trusted him to give him nine lives; Crookedstar had to prove that he was worth it. He leaned forward and touched Silverkit’s ear with his muzzle. “It’s okay. Nobody’s hurt.”
The little cat flinched away, trembling.