She says, “One minute I feel absolutely positive about myself and comfortable within myself, and the next minute everything goes haywire.”
She starts the car and drives on in silence for a few minutes, then stops in front of a gate and honks. A man in fatigues opens it. Driving in, she is a different person again: a woman in charge. She gives instructions to the man to carry in Ahl’s suitcase and computer bag. She calls to the maid, inquiring if the room she has prepared for Ahl is ready.
In the upstairs guest room, Ahl checks his phone. Three missed calls from Fidno, and two from an unknown caller. What can all these calls mean? He anchors in his mind the thought that whatever happens, he will try to save Taxliil from his own foolishness. Otherwise, what is the point of this mad expedition?
His attempt to suppress a sneeze starts to sound like a cat choking on a fishbone. He wipes away the moisture from around his mouth with the back of his hand. He sniffs repeatedly, like a man with whom the snuff he has just taken doesn’t agree. He quotes to himself one of his favorite lines of poetry, to hold at bay the waves of anxiety that he fears will engulf him: “‘I am everything that is around me.’”
He unpacks and sits on the edge of the bed, repeating the line several more times. Who was the poet, Wallace Stevens or Robert Frost? What is around him but the misery of a nation down in the dumps? He paces the room like an undertaker measuring the size of a coffin for a corpse, but he can’t bring himself to make the call to Fidno, afraid he will hear bad news. Again he thinks of the bird landing on the side of his window; and again he can’t decide if its arrival is a harbinger of good or ill.
There is a heavy knock on the door but he doesn’t answer at first, still gripped by a sense of foreboding. Then he hears Xalan saying, “…food on the table.”
He joins her in the dining room, not to eat, but to be with her — simply as a gesture of goodwill. He wishes he could bring up the subject of her missing nephew, Ahmed-Rashid, but he doesn’t want to upset her. Still, he thinks it odd that she hasn’t alluded to him at all, even when they are discussing Taxliil’s disappearance.
“Where is Warsame today?” he asks.
“Chewing qaat at a friend’s home,” she says. There is a glass of grapefruit juice at Ahl’s place. He takes a sip but says that he cannot eat because his stomach is upset. As if to prove it, he squeezes his stomach, which makes ugly noises. Xalan finds this amusing, and she laughs.
“You haven’t eaten since breakfast.”
“Maybe later,” he says.
“Maybe the water here is hard on your stomach,” she says. “Would you like a glass of bottled mineral water?”
“I’ve no problem with the water,” he says.
“Let us have tea, then.”
She instructs the housekeeper to make tea for three. Tea for three? But who is the third? Again a line of poetry, this time from T. S. Eliot, intrudes—“‘Who is the third who walks always beside you?’” Ahl continues the poem silently, allowing his mind to be hostage to it, keeping him away from worrying thoughts. How curious and also how interesting that Xalan hasn’t shared with him who this third party might be. He decides, however, not to quiz her, as that would be bad manners. He senses that something out of the ordinary, something of great value and help, is taking place. First a mysterious bird, and now a mysterious third. Ahl’s heart beats, now not so much with anxiety as with expectancy.
Then, as though on cue, they hear a loud banging on the outside gate, and the sound of it opening and closing. Ahl waits, looking up at a spot on the ceiling, avoiding Xalan’s gaze. The visitor enters, a young man. Xalan jumps up and wraps herself around him as though he were a long-lost son. She weeps with joy. Then the visitor embraces Ahl.
He is a young man a few years Taxliil’s senior, tall and gaunt, with considerable facial hair. His bodily movements are extremely anxious, like those of someone on the run, and there is an untamed wildness to his eyes. Despite the joyful expression etched on his features, he also has fear written all over him. His disquiet is immense.
Ahl suffers anxious moments as he stares at the two of them touching, an image that instantaneously brings tears to his eyes and the memory of little Taxliil falling asleep in his arms. Ahl is utterly confused, so confused that he asks himself if either Fidno or No-Name, in their wish to keep their side of the bargain, have sent this young fellow to him in error. And because he cannot decide either way, he waits in hope that a framework in which he can make sense of all this will emerge out of the muddle.
He sees that Xalan is gripping the visitor by the wrist, as if he might run off. Now she pulls him forward, his elbow in her clasp.
No longer able to restrain himself, Ahl asks Xalan a run of questions. Who is this young man, where has he come from, and why is Xalan excited to welcome him, embrace him?
Xalan says, “His name is Ahmed. Ahmed-Rashid. This is my nephew.”
The young man pulls away, as if offended. Then he stands apart from Xalan and puts some physical distance between them. He says, “No, my name is no longer Ahmed. It hasn’t been Ahmed for a long while now.”
“To what name do you answer, then?” Ahl asks.
“My name is Saifullah,” the young man responds.
Something resembling clarity is beginning to emerge for Ahl, a clarity that allows him to see the young man for what he is: a religious renegade, a zealot with a vision.
“Is Saifullah your nom de guerre?” he asks.
Nodding, Saifullah says, “I’m no longer the person I used to be.”
“How did you get here?”
“I traveled incognito,” Saifullah says.
“From?”
“Nowhere in particular.”
Saifullah’s evasiveness strikes a warning chord in Ahl.
“And where are you going?”
“I am going to my heavenly destiny.”
An expression of fresh dread steals over Xalan. She looks from Ahl to Saifullah. Then once again she wraps herself around Saifullah, embracing him as if he is her beloved embarking on an arduous journey from which he may never return. Weepy, she clings to him and says, “Does my sister know you are here?”
Saifullah says, “My mom knows everything.”
Xalan stops crying. She dries her face, wiping away her tears. Then she lets go of him, sniffs, sits down, and asks, “What did she say?”
“You know what my mother is like.”
There is hardness to her voice when Xalan says, “Tell me how she is. We haven’t seen each other for a very long time.”
Ahl prepares to leave in order to give them privacy. Xalan, however, beckons to him not to go. Instead she says, “Tell me what your mum is like now. I know her to be a devout woman, reclusive, prayerful. But what is her position on you deciding to go to your heavenly destiny?”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to ask her yourself.”
“She doesn’t approve, does she?”
“I suggest you get her to tell you her thoughts herself.”
Ahl senses that it is his moment to step in with his burning question. “Do you happen to know my son, Taxliil?”
Saifullah stares at Ahl, as if he does not appreciate the interruption. He catches Xalan’s eyes, but she looks away, and down at the floor. But then he says simply, “Yes, I do know Taxliil.”
Ahl reacts in silence, more in shock than relief, at Saifullah’s admission. His eyes dim, as if in concentration, but he cannot get any words out. After a long pause, he asks slowly, “Where and when did you last see him?”