“That's General, sir!” Nick roared and the boy almost peed in his pants as Nick tried not to laugh.
“Yes, sir! General!” The brand-new private disappeared and Nick grinned as he turned a corner and ran into an old friend who had seen what he'd just done.
“You should be ashamed of yourself. Those kids are just as patriotic as you are. Probably more so. What are you doing, trying to get out of a tough week at the office?” The man who addressed him was an attorney he'd gone to Yale with, and served with in the reserves years later.
“What happened to you, Jack? Did they disbar you?”
“Hell, yes, why else would I be here?” The two men laughed and wandered down the hall. They had to pick up their orders. “I have to admit to you, though, by last night I decided I was nuts.”
“I could have told you that at Yale.” And then he glanced at his friend. “Any guess as to where they'll send us?”
“Tokyo. To the Imperial Hotel.”
“Sounds nice.” Nick grinned. It was strange being back in the military, but he didn't dislike it. He had talked to Johnny the night before too, and he thought the boy finally understood what he was doing. He had actually sounded proud of him and it took a huge burden off Nick's shoulders to hear him like that.
They saluted the officer who handed them their orders and she smiled. They were the best-looking pair she'd seen all week, and although Jack Ames wore a wedding band on his left hand, she noticed that Major Burnham didn't.
“Do we get to open these now, Lieutenant? Or do we wait?”
“Suit yourselves, just so you report for duty on time.”
She smiled and Jack opened his first, with a nervous grin. “And the winner is … shit. San Diego. What about you, Nick?”
He opened the envelope and glanced at the single sheet of paper. “San Francisco.”
“And then on to Tokyo, right, cutie pie?” Jack pinched the girl's cheek.
“That's Lieutenant to you.”
They walked back into the hall, and Nick was lost in thought.
“What's the matter, don't you like San Francisco?”
“I like it fine.”
“Then what's the matter?”
“My orders say I've got to be there by next Tuesday.”
“So? You had other plans? Maybe it's not too late to change your mind.”
“It's not that. I'll have to leave by day after tomorrow. I told my boy …” He stood lost in thought, and Jack understood. He had a wife and three daughters to contend with. He patted Nick on the shoulder and left him to his own thoughts, and that night Nick called Johnny at Hillary's place. There was no easy way to break the news. He already knew that he was to leave by train on Thursday night, and he would be given a twenty-four-hour leave before that. It wasn't long enough to say good-bye to his son, but it was all they had. He spoke to Hillary first and explained the situation to her, and for once she was decent and agreed to let him see the boy the following night, and on Thursday, for as long as he could. And then she put Johnny on the phone. She told Nick that she'd let him break the news himself. “Hi, Dad.”
“Major Dad, if you please.” He tried to keep his tone light, but his mind was already on their good-bye. It wouldn't be an easy one for either of them, and he was terrified that the child would feel abandoned. But he knew that he was doing what he had to do. “How're you doing, tiger?”
“I'm okay.” But he sounded sad again. He hadn't fully recovered yet from the news Nick had given him only two days before, and there was worse to come.
“How about spending tomorrow night with me?”
“Can I do that?” Excitement filled his voice. “You think Mom'll let me go?”
“I already asked and she agreed.”
“Wow! That's great!”
“I'll pick you up at five o'clock. You can spend the night at my place, and you can figure out where you want to eat.”
“You mean you already have leave?”
“Sure. I'm an important man.”
His son laughed. “It must be easy being a marine.”
Nick groaned. “I wouldn't say that.” It was a distant memory but he still remembered boot camp eighteen years before. “Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow night. Five o'clock.” He hung up and wandered slowly away from the phone. It was going to be rough saying good-bye to him, but no worse than what had happened to them only weeks before. He thought back to the trial, and then pushed it from his head. He couldn't bear the memory of the night Hillary had picked Johnny up. Not that this was going to be much easier, and he wasn't wrong.
He told Johnny over dinner the next night, and the child simply sat and stared at him. He didn't cry, he didn't balk, he didn't say a single word. He just looked at him, and the way he did almost broke Nick's heart.
“Come on, tiger. It's not that bad.”
“You promised you'd never leave me again. You promised, Dad.” It wasn't a whine, just a small sad voice.
“But, Johnny, we're at war.”
“Mom says you don't have to go.”
He took a deep breath. “She's right. If I wanted to, I could hide behind my desk, but it wouldn't be right. Would you be proud of me if I did that? In a few months your friends’ fathers will be going off to war. How would you feel then?”
“Glad that you were here with me.” At least he was honest, but Nick shook his head.
“Eventually you'd be ashamed. Is that really what you want me to do?”
“I don't know.” He stared into his plate for a long time. And then finally he looked up at him. “I just wish you wouldn't go.”
“I wish the Japanese hadn't attacked Pearl Harbor, John. But they did. And now it's our turn to go and fight. They've been fighting in Europe for a long, long time.”
“But you used to say we'd never go to war.”
“I was wrong, son. Dead wrong. And now I'm going to do what I have to do. I'm going to miss you like crazy, every day and every night, but you and I both must believe that I did the right thing.”
Tears seeped slowly into his son's eyes. He wasn't convinced. “What if you don't come back?”
His voice was gruff. “I will.” He started to add “I swear,” but he had sworn before, and lately they hadn't done so well with things he'd sworn about. “Just know that, son. Know that I'll come back and I will.” He told him about San Francisco then, and eventually he paid the check and they went home. It felt strange to Nick to be back in uniform again, but for the last few days uniforms had begun to spring up everywhere. And as they left the restaurant, with their arms around each other, he wondered if one day his son would be proud, or if he'd never give a damn, feeling only that he'd been betrayed again and again, by a mother who didn't care, a judge who didn't understand, and a father who'd run off to play soldier. His heart was heavy as he tucked Johnny in that night, and the next day was worse. They took a long walk in the park, and watched the ice skaters swirling on the Wollman rink, but there were other things on their minds, and time moved too fast for both of them. He took him back to Hillary's at four, and she opened the door and looked at her son. He looked as though someone had just died, and she watched as Nick said good-bye.
“Take good care, son. I'll call from San Francisco whenever I can.” He knelt beside the crying child. “You take care of yourself now, you hear? I'll be back. You know I will.” But Johnny only flung his arms around his father's neck.