“Please.” He gasped. “I can’t stand your being here much longer.”
“Well, life is full of trials,” I snapped at him, too overwhelmed with anger and pain at his insult to temper my words. “I’m sorry to burden you with my presence, but no one here is making any sense!”
“Christian,” Allie said, limping slowly over to us.
“Stay out of this,” her husband said without taking his eyes from us.
“It is not too late, wife,” Mattias called out. “There are two of us here-we could perform the ceremony for you to end that pathetic one’s life.”
“So help me God, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to call down the light and smite you with it!” I bellowed at him.
My threat echoed around the suddenly quiet room.
Mattias’s eyes grew round. “You are Zorya. I am sacristan. You cannot harm me.”
“You want to bet?” I growled, my attention returning to Kristoff as another wave hit him.
“Leave me,” he begged, his body convulsing so tightly I wondered how his muscles could stand the strain.
“I’ll be happy to, just as soon as I figure out what’s going on. Much as you despise my presence, I’m not leaving you until I know why you’re in so much pain.”
“Despise you?” His eyes opened up for a moment, burning me with a feverish light.
“I think you’re all wrong,” Allie said, taking her husband’s hand. “Just look at them. This isn’t right, Christian.”
“She is an actress, nothing more,” Sebastian said.
Another wave of red pain roared over Kristoff, catching me in its wake. I gasped for breath as he fought it, my own body suddenly racked with an intense, desperate need.
“Help them,” Allie said, tugging on Christian’s hand. “Can’t you see this is real?”
“It is of their own doing,” Andreas said slowly. His face was impassive. I hated him at that moment, hated them all for standing around watching Kristoff die. For that was what I was sure was happening-no one could endure such agony, such soul-searing torment, and survive it.
“Christian!” Allie said louder, and to my surprise and relief Christian nodded.
“Feed him,” he ordered.
“What?” I asked as the pain ebbed away. My mind felt bruised, every atom of my body aching and screaming with horror.
“No! I refuse to allow you to feed that monster,” Mattias yelled.
“Take him out,” Christian ordered, waving a hand toward Mattias.
“You must not let them enthrall you,” Mattias yelled over his shoulder as Rowan and Andreas bundled him out of the room. “You must listen to me and allow me to guide you!”
“Feed . . .” The word sank into my head as I looked down at Kristoff, and I realized the truth, realized why he was in this condition. He hadn’t eaten anything , not even the animal blood he mentioned, since we’d been parted.
I cradled his head to my chest, awkwardly trying to press some part of my anatomy to his mouth, but he tightened his lips and turned his face away from me.
“Please, Kristoff,” I said softly, uncomfortable at being pressed into such an intimate act in front of others. “I really don’t want you to die.”
“It’s better than the alternative,” he said, his voice weak and hoarse.
Pain lanced me, but I ignored it. “Do you hate me so much that you’d rather die than drink my blood?” I whispered into his ear.
His eyes opened again, confusion in their depths. “I don’t hate you. It is for you that I am willing to give up my life.”
“Me? I just told you I don’t want you to die.”
“Come on, boys. Let’s give them a little privacy.” I glanced up as Allie dragged her vampire out the door, Sebastian reluctantly following them. “You can stop looking so suspicious, Sebastian-it’s clear that Kristoff isn’t in any sort of condition to escape, even if he wanted to.”
“I don’t think we should leave them alone,” he said stubbornly.
Allie paused in the doorway. “Oh, really? Does Belle like it when others watch you feed?”
Sebastian looked thoughtful and, without another word, closed the door, leaving me alone with my dying vampire.
I looked down at him, meeting his gaze. “I have no idea why you are so hell-bent on martyring yourself, but I assure you it’s not necessary. They’re all gone, so you can go ahead and eat.”
A little moan slipped out of his lips as I bent over him, allowing him access to my neck.
“I’m sorry to be so clichéd, but this is easiest,” I told him as I tipped my head slightly to the side.
He groaned, his breath hot on my neck, the stubble from his few days’ growth of beard sending little tingles of electricity across my skin.
“For God’s sake, stop fighting it and just-”
Pain pierced my neck, hot and fast and over so quickly I hardly remembered it in the rush of sensation that followed. I held Kristoff tight as his body welcomed the life-giving blood from mine, the pleasurable feel of it as it flowed into him so great that I shared it as well. I held him, allowing him to drink from me, satiating the overwhelming need that had driven him so close to death, holding his head for what seemed to be hours, days, even, but I knew that in reality only a few minutes had passed.
“ Dio ,” he swore at last, his tongue as hot as a flame as it caressed the wound on my neck.
I pulled back enough to look at him. I remembered well from past experiences that the act of feeding was a very sensual one, making us both prone to thoughts of a sexual nature. I assumed that with Kristoff so close to death, neither one of us would find this time anything but a purely lifesaving act, but as I looked down into his face, I was suddenly overwhelmed with desire.
He must have shared my thought, for a ghost of a smile flickered across his lips. “I’m afraid I would disappoint you if we tried. At least, not until my body has had time to process the blood.”
I eased him off my lap, discomfited that he could read my interest so clearly. Instead I examined him, noting with relief that the grey tinge to his skin was fading, and the lines on his face, while still stark and harsh, were softened a bit. “You look a smidgen better.”
He eased himself to a sitting position against the wall, saying, “Thanks to you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He waited a moment, then shook his head. “If you only knew what you have done.”
“Saved your life, you mean? I’m a woman, Kristoff. I tend to be a nurturer. As little as you like me, you certainly can’t expect that I’d be so heartless as to let you die when it was within my power to help you.”
He frowned, not an uncommon expression for him. “Why do you keep saying that? I thought we had that out months ago.”
“Had what out?” I got to my feet, rearranging my dress. My entire body hummed as if it were filled with electricity, the sensation itching along my skin in an oddly pleasant fashion.
“You insist on pretending that I dislike you. I’ve told you before that that’s not true.”
“I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear that you don’t actively loathe me,” I said lightly, not wanting to get into a discussion of our respective emotions. “But I think we both know that you’re not exactly yipping for joy that I’m your Beloved.”
“No more than you are,” he said, his eyes narrowing on me. “You thought you were Alec’s Beloved.”
An unspoken accusation hung heavily on the air. I turned away, wandering over to the window, pulling aside a gauzy curtain to look out at Vienna. The sun was setting, lights starting to come on up and down the street as people, normal people, hurried to their homes and loved ones. For a moment a yearning so strong it hurt swept through me. I wanted to be one of those people. I wanted the loving husband, and happy children, and a home that radiated happiness and contentment.
But I wasn’t normal. With a sigh I let the curtain drop. I wasn’t a normal person anymore, and the one man I might be able to love could never give me his heart. “So here we are, bound together for all eternity, you mourning your dead girlfriend, and me having lost Alec because I’m tied to you, not him. Sometimes you have to admit that life really is the pits, but I guess there’s nothing we can do about that. I take it you’ll be popping in on me for a quick bite to eat whenever you’re tired of dieting or drinking animal blood?”