That would be one of the more honest things he’d ever said. Admitting that his place was more than just a feeding trough for swells.
‘‘Maybe it’s time to move on to the next format.’’
‘‘No can do. The only option now is a fallback to something like the Safety Zone. I don’t want that. I’ve had a taste of the high life.’’
In one prior incarnation The Palms was the Safety Zone, which was basically a place where denizens of the dark side, of all races, could gather and do business without fear of assassination or other inconvenience. The Safety Zone had been great when I was starting out. I could hang out, listen, make contacts, find out who was who.
Then I met Tinnie.
‘‘Then change up just enough to make them want to come see what’s new. Serve something besides eggplant, parsnips, and rutabaga wine.’’
‘‘Thank you, Sarge,’’ Morley said. ‘‘Your coat, Mr. Garrett. Your redheaded friend sent it over with word that you’d been dragged off to the Al-Khar.’’ He eyed me expectantly. I paid no attention to the coat.
How do you lie to your best friend? ‘‘Relway wanted to enlist me as a consultant. About what, or why, he never made clear. But he’s interested in something involving kids off the Hill.’’
‘‘Word is, you’re working for Max Weider. Something to do with oversize bugs.’’
‘‘Yes. I’ve taken care of that. I hope. I’ll go make sure after I leave here.’’
‘‘There’re lots of big bugs around, scaring the marks in the Tenderloin. You’re not popular down there right now.’’
‘‘Me? I’m not? I need that explained.’’
‘‘You loosed the bugs.’’
‘‘I did not.’’ Stupid is more pervasive than air. Inability to reason comes in right behind. ‘‘I was down there to suppress them. And did a damned good job, thank you.’’
Morley just smiled.
I may have mentioned it. Apologies if I have. Mr. Dotes is poisonously handsome and overloaded on animal magnetism. If you’re a father or a husband, he’s the guy who haunts your nightmares.
He’s keyed into fashion, always dressed to the pointy ears in the latest. Even here, working, with no one to impress, after a harsh winter, he was overdressed and preening, showing an embarrassing quantity of pastel lace.
Puddle, who could be Sarge’s ugly twin, brought a tea service. Morley poured. I sipped and relaxed in the warmth. The usual stress around the place was absent. I thanked Puddle, asked Morley, ‘‘What’s really going on?’’
‘‘Nothing. Tinnie was worried. I made moves to find out how bad off you were. Lucky you, they cut you loose. Sarge brought you here so you could get your coat. Once you got here, I amused myself by giving you a hard time about your bugs.’’
‘‘Not my bugs. Kids off the Hill. Tell me about Lurking Felhske.’’
His good mood vaporized. He stopped lounging. Stiffly erect in his chair, he snapped, ‘‘What do you know about him?’’
‘‘Two things. First, nothing. Which is why I asked. I never heard of him before yesterday. Second, every time I mention him, people get the stone face and, instead of answering me, they start trying to get me to turn him up. Why the hell is that?’’
‘‘Are you for real? You never heard of Lurking Felhske? In your racket?’’
‘‘Morley. Look at me. I’m getting exasperated here. My friend. I told you. I have no flipping idea who Lurking Felhske is. I never heard of him before Saucerhead said something. I’m pretty sure there might be three, maybe even four other people out there who’ve never heard of him, either. There might even be people who’ve never heard of you. So cut the crap.’’
Sarge was back, examining the coat he’d brought. He told Morley, ‘‘His adventure in da Al-Khar drove him mad.’’
‘‘Certainly made him cranky.’’
Sarge told me, ‘‘Dere’s maybe a problem here, Garrett. Couple of da guys in back, dey t’ought dis coat was left behin’ by some customer. Dey got in a squabble over it. Kinda tore it some.’’
‘‘Ssss!’’ I hissed, making descending wiggle fingers. ‘‘I’m a lightning rod for petty disaster. Crap. What makes me real cranky is friends who won’t believe me. Who think it’s funny to play games when all I need is a splash of honest information.’’
Morley tickled his ghost of a mustache. ‘‘I’ll pretend you’re really as dim and ignorant as you want me to believe. In the interest of getting on with getting on.’’
‘‘How gracious.’’
‘‘Isn’t it? Considering the bad things that have happened this year.’’ Feral smile. He was still irked about me getting him back for saddling me with a talking parrot who could make a sailor blush.
‘‘All the hills don’t go up. Some have a down on the other side.’’
‘‘You’ve been hanging around with the old folks again.’’
‘‘Lurking Felhske.’’
‘‘Yes. Lurking Felhske. A legend. The spy’s spy. A man almost as unpopular as gumshoe Garrett. A man so good at sneaking and eavesdropping most of his targets never know. So good, in fact, that most people have never heard of him.’’
‘‘Including the aforementioned gumshoe Garrett. What the hell is a gumshoe, anyhow?’’
‘‘It’s a kind of soft sole for people who spend all their time on their feet. Check with your friends on the Guard. Meantime, take it from me, those who have suffered because of Lurking Felhske would love to have a sit-down with him.’’
I couldn’t see Relway being upset about being exposed by this character. I could see him smelling a chance to find out where a lot of bodies were buried. ‘‘You got something to hide and it gets out, you can’t hardly claim you being in trouble is somebody else’s fault.’’
‘‘Of course you can. Most people do. Don’t be naive, Garrett.’’
‘‘I understand that most people are too self-centered to blame themselves for their own troubles. That’s human nature at work. Come on. Lurking Felhske. Give.’’
‘‘Felhske. The wonder. I told you. Legendary sneak. The man you hire when you want to find out what somebody else doesn’t want found.’’
‘‘Damn! I thought that was Mama Garrett’s ever-lovin’ blue-eyed baby boy. How?’’
‘‘Uh . . . you got me, Garrett. How what?’’
‘‘How do you hire a Lurking Felhske if he’s so legendary that nobody knows what he looks like or where to find him? I’ve always wondered about that when it comes to legendary assassins and professional thieves.’’
‘‘Thieves?’’
‘‘The ones who steal the holy gem eyes or fangs out of demon idols or ancient grimoires from heavyweight sorcerers. You want that kind of people to do a job for you, how do you get hold of them? You can’t hardly hang a sign out. And neither can they. Especially neither can they. Here’s this poor Felhske clown, got people hunting him and all he does is watch people.’’
‘‘But then he goes and tells somebody what he saw. That’s what makes people mad.’’
‘‘That’s all you know?’’
‘‘That’s all I know, Garrett. That and I could solve my financial problems if I had a Lurking Felhske to auction off.’’
I made a face, repelled.
Morley smiled. He’d gotten me. Again. ‘‘How much influence do you have on the three-wheel business?’’
‘‘Five percent. And I can have my own guy check the books. So far, nobody’s screwed me. I put it all back in. Eventually, I’ll own more of the company. Singe has the math worked out. Why?’’
‘‘I have a cousin who thinks it would be dandy to have her own three-wheel.’’
I was suspicious immediately. I’ve only ever met one family member of his. A nephew. Who should’ve been drowned at birth.
Morley said, ‘‘Don’t give me that fish-eye, Garrett. I was thinking about buying her a spot near the head of the list.’’
What about those financial problems? ‘‘Does this cousin live in the city?’’ He might want a three-wheel to ship out where feral elves could get busy building knockoffs. Though that is more a dwarfish-style stunt.
It’s company policy never to sell to dwarves.
We’d have to design a special dwarf model, anyway. They couldn’t get their stubby legs down to the pedals on a normal three-wheel.