Was he apologizing? Jonathan couldn’t be sure. He didn’t say anything, just watched Ox, who looked at him, then the table, then the floor.
“It’s like nothing against you or anything,” Ox said. “It’s just something we did…for laughs, right? I don’t want you to think we have anything against you. I mean, it was Toby’s deal. Cade and I were just always there.”
“Yeah,” Jonathan said. You were always there. Laughing. High-fiving like a pack of morons. No. Like a pride of morons, he thought.
“It’s like, I can’t believe he’s gone. You know?”
“Sorry,” Jonathan said. It seemed like the right response, but it felt awkward on his tongue.
“Yeah. Thanks. You’re a cool guy. I guess I kind of always knew that,” Ox said. “You’re a bit scrawny, but a good guy.”
Ox was trying to make a joke. Jonathan forced a smile, still thinking the monstrous kid was a dickhead, but maybe a lower-level dickhead than he’d once believed.
“Thanks, man,” Jonathan replied.
“So, we’re cool?” Ox asked.
“Sure.”
“Cool,” Ox said rapping the table with one of his giant hands. “Yeah. Okay. Cool. I gotta get back over there. I just…okay. Cool.”
Ox stood. He appeared confused about which way to walk. He leaned toward Jonathan, who flinched. Ox rapped him lightly on the shoulder. A friendly gesture. Then he turned and made his way around the counter, leaving Jonathan stunned, confused, and relieved.
What the hell is going on? he wondered. Were things actually getting better for him?
Then he lifted his drink for another sip and paused with a cloud of whipped cream against his lip.
Kirsty Sabine walked into the coffee house.
And David was holding the door for her.
Jonathan looked down at his book, pretending to read. He felt awkward, though there was no reason for it. David had lied to him. His best friend said he was having dinner with his folks, when he was actually on a date with Kirsty. So why did he, Jonathan, feel guilty, like he was intruding or spying on them?
This was lame. So lame.
“Busted,” David said, dropping into the chair across from him.
Jonathan looked up, startled. Disappointment in his friend set his nerves on edge. He tried to play it cool, but it felt like he’d shake apart at any moment.
“Hey,” he said, closing the book and setting it down. “What’s up?”
David looked over his shoulder and then leaned his arms on the table. “I got a date.”
“Doesn’t look like your parents,” Jonathan said, trying to sound amused.
“I know,” David said. He laughed. “Thank God, right?”
“So what’s with the blatant untruth?”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I didn’t want you giving me a hard time about it. I mean, if we went out, and she didn’t groove on the magic that is me, I didn’t want it to be a thing, you know?”
No, Jonathan thought. He didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to get up in David’s grill over it. His best friend looked too happy for him to try and spoil it. David’s round face was glowing, his smile wider than Jonathan had seen in a long time. He liked seeing his friend having such a good time, but the lie still gnawed at him.
“So, how’s it going?” Jonathan asked. “Is she groovin’ on your girth?”
“We’re cool,” David said. Flashes of red rose on his cheeks, and he looked away. “Yeah, we’re cool. Full on SHAC.”
“Okay,” Jonathan said, “what does that mean?”
“She’s hot and cool.”
“You’re just reaching now. SWIM was better.”
“Well, I think she actually is, that’s the weird thing.”
“That’s great,” Jonathan said. “But you might want to get back over to her before she has time to think about what a grotesque mistake she’s made.” He grinned and grabbed his coffee.
David rolled his eyes.
Before David could reply, Kirsty walked around the counter. In her hands she held a couple of tall cups of coffee. She looked great. Again, she seemed prettier than Jonathan remembered, though he had seen her in class just that morning. Maybe it was her makeup or the short jacket that revealed more of her figure.
She saw Jonathan and smiled. “David said you were here.”
“And here I am.”
“I didn’t see you when we came in,” Kirsty said. She set the coffees on the table. “Can we join you?”
“Sure,” Jonathan said, “but I was about to head out.”
“Oh, come on,” Kirsty said. “You can stay for a few minutes.”
Jonathan noticed the expression on David’s face—a small smile, tight with annoyance—and knew hanging out wasn’t the best idea. He almost agreed to stay, a bit of payback for the lie his friend told him, but he decided not to be a tool.
“Nah,” he said. “I should bail.”
Kirsty looked genuinely sad he was leaving, and Jonathan wondered if maybe she wasn’t having as good a time as David. Then he decided she was just being nice to him. He slid the paperback off the table and fitted it into his jacket pocket.
“You two can take the table if you want,” he said, standing up.
“Wait,” Kirsty said. She fished in the pocket of her jacket and retrieved a thin flip phone. “I want a picture.”
David laughed. “We just bought that thing,” he said.
“I’m glad David was with me,” Kirsty said. “I was gonna get this totally crappy one. I mean, I don’t know anything about these things. They’re all the same to me, but he thought this one was a lot better.”
“It’s got more features,” David said, his voice edged with pride. “And it didn’t cost much more.”
“Okay,” Kirsty said lifting the phone in front of her face. “David first.”
“You already took three of me outside,” David said.
Jonathan could tell his friend was playing it cool. He liked that Kirsty wanted pictures of him. David’s posture straightened, and he ran a hand along his hair just over his ear.
“Smile,” Kirsty said.
“Ack!” David protested playfully.
Kirsty looked at the phone screen and pushed a button. Jonathan heard a dull click.
“Oh, that’s a good one,” Kirsty said. “Now Jonathan.”
He gazed at Kirsty, again struck by how good she looked. He tried to smile, but it felt heavy on his face. He didn’t know if he could hold it. Seeing David and Kirsty together made his chest tingle. What if these two really liked each other? David had lied about his date, tried to hide it. David blew him off, and Jonathan knew it wasn’t the last time. It couldn’t be. David and Kirsty would spend time together, maybe a lot of time. Jonathan looked at his best friend, his only friend, and wondered exactly how much their lives were going to change.
Click.
9
He walked along the sidewalk, the paperback in his jacket pocket, knocking against his hip. He felt miserable. Oh, he was glad for David. It was cool he and Kirsty had hooked up. But scenes from the future flooded Jonathan’s mind, scenes that showed him alone, sitting in his bedroom doing nothing. He pictured David and Kirsty sitting on the sofa in David’s basement, playing PS3 or just BS’ing the night away. He wasn’t in those scenes, and it hurt deep in his chest. In fact, it was the same ache he felt when he heard about Emma O’Neil. It was a sensation of loss, and it was just too familiar.
A brisk wind ran over him. Jonathan stopped and took a heavy breath. It helped the pain in his chest, but only for a moment. Soon enough the pain returned, like a hard block of burning coal against his ribs.