I shook my head. “Then why did you still ask me about us?”
“Because I need an answer.”
My knees felt like rubber. “It’s no, Michael, it’s no.”
That fear seemed to grow on his face. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I needed to sit down, so I made my way to the bed. Once there, I turned to him and softened my gaze. “Please, don’t take Clementine away from me. Don’t punish her for my choices. She needs me in her life.”
He seemed so distant, even though he was just across the room. “If you’re not standing by my side before the District Attorney nominations, her life will be in danger and there is nothing I can do about it.”
I got to my feet and ran over to him. “What are you talking about? Tell me what you mean.”
Five seconds had passed before he spoke. “I can’t.”
My fists were pounding against his chest and tears were leaking from my eyes before I knew what I was doing. “Stop saying that. Just tell me. Tell me now.”
As if defeated, he closed his eyes. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“The beginning, Michael. Start there.”
He nodded, and after a few seconds he began to speak. “Your sister and I didn’t fall in love. She was a prostitute I used for sex on a few occasions and although I fell in love with her, she never really loved me. She couldn’t, because she was in love with someone else.”
“Tommy Flannigan?” I asked, already having determined Lizzy had some kind of connection with him from what Logan had uncovered.
Another nod. “He wasn’t right for her. He couldn’t help her turn her life around, and that was what she needed.”
I had nothing to say. I was certain she did need that, but experience had told me no one could do that for her; she had to want to change.
“And yet she loved him anyway. He was her pimp, for fuck’s sake. He used her to make money. I hated that. Couldn’t stand it. He didn’t want her to clean herself up, didn’t want her to get off the drugs; all he wanted was for her to keep her mouth on other guys’ dicks.”
I’d never heard him talk like that. “What changed, Michael? If she didn’t love you, why did the two of you get married?”
“I’m getting to that. Like I said, we knew each other.”
My temper flared. “Yes, you were one of those dicks she kept her mouth on.”
“Don’t judge me, Elle. At least I wanted to help her. And I tried many times to get her to walk away from that life, but she wouldn’t. When I was done trying, I gave her my card and told her if she ever needed anything, to call me. For the longest time, she didn’t. But then about two years ago she got picked up on a possession and prostitution charge. That’s when she contacted me. I took her case free of charge, vouched for her, and bailed her out of jail—the court contingency was that she come work for me, my contingency was that she stay away from Tommy. She didn’t really have much of a choice. It was me or jail time. So she agreed to my terms. And as the days went on, she was doing so much better. Every day I could see the light shining brighter in her eyes.”
An overwhelming sadness stabbed at my chest for what she had become.
“At that time in my life I was just starting to think about running for District Attorney and I thought having a woman beside me would be beneficial, so I asked her to marry me.”
I’d surmised that Michael and Lizzy, although married, weren’t truly in love, so this wasn’t a surprise. “Why her? You could have had anyone, I’m sure.”
“There was something about her that I couldn’t let go of. Not only was she beautiful, but also I really, truly believed that I could fix her. Change her life. And I thought maybe she could change mine. You know, the whole ‘two lost souls’ thing. I had a lot of hope back then, hope that she’d learn to love me.”
I hated hearing this. Lizzy and I had both been so broken.
He went on. “The offer I made her was more than fair. All she had to do was marry me, play the dutiful wife, help me get the nomination, and stay clean. In return, I’d give her forty thousand dollars for each year she stayed with me. It really would have been a picture-perfect campaign—selfless attorney helps struggling woman and they fall in love.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Manufactured love for the polls?”
He went on. “It didn’t start out that way. I told you, I really did love her.”
My eyes widened. “So my sister married you for money?”
He nodded. “Sadly, yes.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“It wasn’t long after I’d made my offer that we went down to the courthouse and got married. About a month later she discovered she was pregnant. I didn’t question who the father was. A baby was going to change everything. At first I thought the pregnancy would bring us closer together, but it didn’t. I found her withdrawing more and more. I tried to help her, but she wouldn’t talk to me. She stopped coming to work, said she was too tired. Then she started to disappear for days at a time, only to turn up hungry and exhausted. I never asked where she’d been. I knew where—to see him. I think that’s when I gave up on her. Turned my mind off to love and focused on my career. With a family, I would more than likely be able to climb the political ladder so much quicker.”
My jaw dropped and my body shook. “You took your tragic situation and made it about politics?”
“No, Elle. I took control of my life and tried to make something out of it.”
“Spin it however you want.”
“You weren’t here. You didn’t see the way she treated me, the way she’d talk to me. She had absolutely no respect for me or for what I’d done for her.”
“Why’d you let her stay, then?”
“She was pregnant. I couldn’t kick her out. I knew if I did, she wouldn’t take care of herself. So day after day, I endured all the crap she threw my way. After she had Clementine, things only got worse. By then, I’d stopped trying to make her happy. One day, out of the blue she threatened to leave me, take the baby, and run away with Tommy.”
“But Clementine was legally your daughter. Lizzy couldn’t just take off with her. You had rights too.”
He laughed. “Your sister didn’t care about the law. I knew there was a very real possibility that I could come home one day and find her and Clementine gone and that I’d never see them again. I couldn’t have that. Clementine meant everything to me. That’s when I went to someone for help who didn’t care about the law either.”
“What kind of help, Michael?”
“Someone who could offer Tommy the job of a lifetime.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Your sister used to tell me the oddest things, either during one of her rages or later, once she had calmed down. One time she had told me that Tommy wanted to be successful on his own and break free of his father’s hold. He really felt that his ticket out of the Flannigan shadow was the drug market. I knew this, and I used this information. Within hours of your sister telling me her plan, Tommy was offered one of the very coveted positions as wholesaler for Boston’s biggest drug supplier. There was no way he was going to leave town and give that up. And with him staying, I wouldn’t have to worry about Elizabeth leaving. This would give me a chance to get her help and for us to cement as a family. Or so I thought.”
Shock wasn’t even what I was feeling. “You’re an attorney, Michael. You uphold the law. Why would you even know a person who runs a drug empire?”
His eyes, so icy blue, had tears in them. “Elle, if I would have known that it was going to cost me your sister anyway, I would never have let Seamus back into my life.”
My heart was in my throat. “Who is Seamus to you, Michael?”
“You already know, Elle. He’s my older brother.”
My own shock finally seemed to register as I put it all together in my mind. Seamus ran Boston’s drug empire. Seamus was the Priest. Seamus was the one who’d kidnapped me. Seamus was Clementine’s uncle. The delivery boy was his son. Clementine’s cousin.
Oh God.
Tears were leaking from Michael’s eyes and he grasped his hands with his hair. “I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t.”