Lilai sidled in and perched on the edge of a chair. “That’s sorta what I came to tell you When you’ll get back, I mean. Mum said I could. Mum said. Shadow called and said she’d made the report to Digby and as soon as the Kliu check it out, you can go whenever you want.” She sighed, then stared down at her hands, the fingers of one scratching the palm of the other. “I’ll miss you,” she whispered, so softly Lylunda had almost to guess at the words.
For the first time Lylunda realized how lonely the child was and saw some value in the messy, often dangerous life she’d led while she was growing up. Lonely wasn’t something you suffered in the streets of the Izar. This place was lovely, there was every comfort here you could possibly want-everything except other people. She was bored after a month, of it. Lilai had been here all her young life. “You have Vassil and the horses,” she said.
“But I can’t talk to him about anything but horses. And Mum, well, she’s my mother. And she’s…” Lilai sighed again. “You know. She loves me and I love her and we do lots of stuff and she’s a great Mom. But it’s not like just… I dunno.”
Aleytys had been friendly, but she wasn’t the type to sit around chatting with strangers and besides, she was distracted; it hadn’t been to hard to pick up the growing strain between her and the kid’s father. And on top of all that, it was rather hard to get chummy with a legend in the flesh. Lilai must feel that too. I wonder if she wishes sometimes that she had an ordinary mother. Too smart for her own good. Eight years old going on fifty. Sort of like Bug. Everything hurts when you’re like that. Jaink’s nethermost hell, what do I say? I don’t know anything about kids. And I swear I’m never going to have any. “You’re lucky to have a mom, Lil. Remember, I told you how mine died when I was fifteen?”
“But you got to go learn to be a pilot and you have your own ship and you can go wherever you want now.”
“So what do you think you want to do?”
“Mum says she’ll get me a place on University. I think I’m going to study animals. Well, I already am. Swarda and Shadow bring me books and things when they come to visit and Aunt. Harskari always has something new in her ship garden and she tells me about how it lives and stuff. Shadow has friends who hunt for animals. I thought may I could go work for them after I finish school.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“And Mum says when I make twelve we’ll do my first run in the Wildlands and I’ll see the silvercoats live not just on flakes and we’ll gather the first stones for my cairn. And when I’m eighteen, I’ll go by myself and put a stone on the cairn. And they can’t call me brat any more or say I’m hanging on Mum’s belt to pull myself along.”
Lylunda repressed a shiver. Her childhood kept looking better the more she heard about Wolff. This child was anticipating with pleasure being dumped in the colckst, most barren part of this unfriendly world with just what she could carry ’on her back and no weapons but a knife and a bow. She was supposed to survive out there for at least a week-and not just survive, but cover Jaink knew how many kilometers, make her mark on some pile of rocks and come back out by foot power and gritted teeth.
“Luna, there’s a tutorial on a little while about the Wildlands. You want to come watch it with me?”
“Sure. Why not. While the show’s running, you can tell me all about the silvercoats.”
Grey and Aleytys spent the next day in a bitter quarrel, arguing in undertones, no shouting, all control. They filled the house with a tension that twanged at Lylunda’s nerves and had Lilai shivering like a frightened deer.
Fiddling with the remote screen, trying to pretend she was working, Lylunda stayed in her room until the little ghost that wore Lilai’s shape wandered past the door for the tenth time. With an impatient siss, she wiped the figures from the screen, shut down the remote and marched into the hall. “Come on.”
She didn’t wait to see if the child was following her, just strode along the hall to the drop tube.
The barn was warm, smelled of horse and hay. Lylunda threw a blanket over a bale to keep the stubs away from her flesh, then settled herself on it and waited for Lilai to slip in. She wrinkled her nose, remembering her first day here when the girl grinned at her and told her they had to be friends, their names were almost twins, then hauled her off to see her horses. Looks like a parent doesn’t have to be a stone bort like my own daddy dear to mess up a kid’s life. At least he’s out of my life for good. Poor little Lilai has got another ten years of this. At least. Well, it’s not my business. I’m outta here soon as it’s safe.
Lilai came hesitantly through the partly open door. She stopped just inside and stood slouched, staring at the planks of the floor with the wisps of grass hay strewn across the wood. Her mouth trembled.
“It’s tough, kid. I know. Come over here and sit down. You don’t have to say anything.”
Lilai nestled close to her. She was cold and shaking, but she didn’t cry, even when Lylunda slipped an arm about her shoulders and held her close.
“One thing you learn after a while, Lil, these things pass. You live through them and life gets better.”
Lilai sucked in a long ragged breath, but she didn’t say anything, perhaps out of loyalty to her feuding parents. Lylunda hugged her; she, too, stayed silent, mostly because she didn’t know what more to say.
A horse in one of the stalls that ran along the side of the barn whickered and shifted his feet, his shod hooves muffled by the straw bedding. Another snorted and thumped against the barrier between the stalls. Two barn cats hissed and yowled in a brief fight, then there were scratching noises as one of them fled. Up near the rafters there was some soft peeping from owlets in their nests. Outside, the little brown meuttertiks broke into scolding chirps; something must have been threatening their nests.
Lilai’s shaking slowly went away. She leaned her head against Lylunda’s shoulder for a moment, drew a sigh up from the soles of her feet. A moment later she wriggled free and got to her feet.
At the doorway she turned and gave Lylunda a wavery smile, then she was gone.
Lylunda scrubbed a hand across her eyes. “Jaink! I hate this. I want to get away from here. Now.”
Grey took Lilai with him when he left.
Lylunda did her best to keep out of the way, but she did stand at her window as the child walked to the flier with her father. Lilai waved to her mother, climbed inside. Aleytys was watching from her garden, half hidden by a flowering sehnsur, the wind blowing delicate lavender petals from its lacy blooms onto her head and shoulders.
She stood there until the flier vanished into the thready clouds; then she walked with quick energetic steps toward the barn, brushing away the petals as she went. Shortly afterward she rode away from the house on one of the blacks, keeping the horse to a controlled trot, not pushing it, but her eyes were fixed on the horizon, as if being in motion were something she had to do, as if that jagged line between sky and earth were someplace she had to be.
Lylunda stepped away from the window. “This whole visit has been a letdown. You expect legends to have perfect lives, not this kind of kak.” She sighed. “I
2
Lylunda smiled as she patted the arm of her pilot’s chair. It was good to be back in her own ship; she could feel the tension draining out of her. She woke the kephalos and initiated the call to Digby, then sat back and waited for it to go through.
Digby was a silver-haired docent, handsome and stately, with what Lylunda took to be a smug gleam in his bright blue eyes. “What can I do for you, Lylunda Elang?”
“I was wondering if the Kiln had finished inspecting the site and were satisfied with what they saw.”