"Whether you do or not, he's still going to think it. If that tape proved us innocent beyond a doubthe'd find one."
She shook her head. "Remember I told Denys I've got Ari's working notes? I just tell him I'm quite well in control of the situation, that when I'm through it won't make any difference what Jordan did or didn't do, that if he's worried about the Warrick influence he can stop worrying, I'm working both of you."
It was credible, he thought; and of course it sounded enough like the truth under the truth to feed into his own gnawing worries and remind him of Emory at full stretchlayers upon layers upon layers of truth hidden in subterfuge and a damnable sense of humor. He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to think, but thoughts started scattering in panicexcept the one that said: No choice, the kid's the only force in the House that ultimately matters, no choice, no choice, no choice.
. . . Besides which he heard her saying over the breakfast table if your safety is linked to mineit's not really likely your father would make a real move against Reseune, is it?
"Let me tell you about Giraud," she said. "Sometimes I hate him. Sometimes I almost love him. He's absolutely without feelings for people he's against. He's fascinated by little models and microcosms and scientific gadgets. He views himself as a martyr. He's resigned to doing dirty jobs and being hated. He's had very few soft spotsexcept his feud with your father, a lot of personal anger in that; except meexcept me, because I'm the only thing he's ever worked for that can put arms around him and give him something back. That's Giraud. We're on opposite sides of him. I don't say that to make you feel sorry for him. I just want you to know what he's like."
"I know what he's like, thanks."
"When people do bad things to youit makes this little ego-net problem, doesn't it, isn't that what I learned in psych? There's this little ego-net crisis that says maybe it's your fault, or maybe everybody thinks you're in the wrong, isn't that what goes on? And ego's got to restructure and flux the doubt down and go mono-value on the enemy so there's no doubt left he's wrong and you're right. Isn't that the way it works? You know all that. If you think about that mono-value it restarts all the flux and it hurts like hell. But what if you need to know the whole picture about Giraud, to know what you ought to do?"
"Maybe nobody ever gets that objective," he said, "when it's his ass in the fire."
"Giraud fluxed you. Fluxed you real good. Are you going to let him get away with it or are you going to listen to me?"
"You do this under kat, sera?"
"No. You'd feel the echo if I had, wouldn't you? You're so fluxed on me you can't think straight. You're fluxed on me, on Giraud, on Jordan. On yourself. On everybody but Grant. That's who you'll protect. That's the deal, and I'm the only one who can offer it in the long run. Giraud's dying."
He stood there, adrenaline coursing through him, but the body got duller with overload. The brain did. And flux just straightened out, even when he knew she was Operating, even when he knew step by step what she was doing: even when he realized there had been deep-level tweaks that had prepared for this, even when he felt amazement that she did it from around a blind corner and improvising as she went.
The knot unkinked. He was wide-open as drugs could send him, for one dizzy instant.
"All right," he said. "That's got one little flaw: Grant's not safe when you can meddle with him."
"Grant would never do anything against you. That's as controlled as I need. I'd be a fool to meddle with the one stable point you've gotwhen what I want is to be sure where you are. You're the one I'd intervene withif I was going to do it. But if Grant's safety is assured, you're going to rememberanytime you think about doing anything against methat much as your father might want to, he hasn't got the power to protect himself, much less you; and I have. I'll never hurt Jordan. I'll never hurt Grant. I can't promise that with you. And right now you know exactly whybecause you're my leverage on a problem that threatens a whole lot more than just me."
It was strange that he felt no panic. Deep-set work again. He felt that through a kind of fog, in which intellect took over again and said: And you're my leverage. Aren't you?
But aloud, he said: "Can I see Grant?"
She nodded. "I said so. But you will stay hereat least for a few days. At least till I get it straightened out with my uncles."
"It's probably a good idea," he said, quite calm, even relieved, past the automatic little flutter of alarm. Flux kicked back in. Defenses came up all the way. He thought about the chance that Giraud would arrest them even over Denys' objections.
Or arrange their assassination. Giraud was not a man who worried about his own reputation. A professionalin his own nefarious waywho served a Cause, Ari was right about that. Giraud would sacrifice even Ari's regard for himto be sure in his own mind, that Ari was safe.
Giraud would do it dirty, too. It was Ari's regard for them he had to terminate. It was his ideas Giraud had to discredit.
There had been a plot to incriminate him through Grant. He was sure of that. Every trip to Planys was a risk. They were cut off again. No more visits. No chance to see Jordan. They were lucky to get Grant back unscathed. And if Giraud could work on Jordan, indirectly
Jordan knowing his son and his foster-son had joined Ari's successor
There was no end to the what-ifs, no way to untangle truth and lies. Anyone could be lying. Everyone had reason. Every move Jordan made in Planyswas a risk. Failing to get to them, Giraud might well move on Jordan to get leverage on them in Reseune, to create doubts in Ari's mind
And Ari said I'm working both of you
God.
He went to the hall and to the open library door; and into the dim room where Grant lay on the couch, asleep and very tranked. Florian was there, shadow in the corner, just sitting guard. Catlin was not. Catlin was somewhere else in the apartment, in the case he had violated instructions to stay to the front rooms, he thought.
He laid his hand on Grant's shoulder and said: "Grant, it's Justin. I'm here, the way I said."
Grant frowned, and drew a deep breath and moved a little; and opened his eyes a slit.
"I'm here," Justin said. "Everything's all right. She said you're all right."
A larger breath. Eyes showing white and pupil by turns as Grant struggled up out of the trank and reached after him. He took Grant's hand. "Hear me?" Double press on the inside of the wrist. "It's all right. You want Florian and me to carry you? You want to go to bed?"
"Just lie here," Grant murmured. "Just lie here. I'm so tired. I'm so tired"
His eyes closed again.
vii
"I'm doing quite well," Ari said, over a bite of salad; lunch, at Changes, the 18th December. "They're back in their own residency. Everyone's happy. There's no problem with Jordan, no lingering messiness. I just wasn't about to let them out where Giraud could get at them. You shouldn't worry. I can take care of myself. Is that enough said?"
"You know what I think about it," Denys said.
"I appreciate your concern. But," she said with a small quirk of her brow, a deliberate smile, "you probably worried about Ari senior this way too."