"I thought you knew everything."
"Well, say that I know enough to know he's not well, he's trying to hide that from the world, he doesn't want to admit it to me, and it's a guaranteed explosion if I try to reason with him. Excluding trank, which I'm not about to do to my uncle. You're the only one he'll listen to in this, you're the only one who can get him calmed down, because he knows you're objective and he won't believe that about me. And there's something else I want you to tell him. I want you to tell him ... the Warrick influence isn't the only thing going in Reseune. He should believe ... he should definitely believe . . . the Nye influence is terribly important to me. Indispensable to me ... and to Reseune."
"That's gratifying."
"I haven't gotten to my point yet. This is terribly delicate, uncle Denys. I don't want you to take this wrong. And it's so hard to discuss with Giraudbut . . . Giraud's so hardheaded practical, and he's been such an influenceon me; on Reseune What do you think he'd feelabout having a replicate donelike me?"
Denys sat still, a long, long moment. "I think he'd be amazed," Denys said. "He'd also point out that he's not documented to the extent you are."
"It's possible it'll work. It's even probable. All I'd need is the ordinary House stuff. Damn, this is so awkward! I don't know how to approach asking him. I don't know how he feels about dying. He'snever brought it up with me. I gather he doesn't want me to know. But I know a lot more about psychogenesis than you knew when you started; I know a lot I haven't written upI know it from the inside, I know what matters and what doesn't and where you came close to a real bad mistake. And I really think I could run it with Giraud. If he'd let me."
"Dear, when one's dead, there's not a precious lot one can do to stop you from any damn thing, now, is there?"
"It matters what you want. And what Giraud wants, I mean, his opinion is the most important, because that has to do with his psychsets, and whether his successor would be comfortable with what he is. That's critical. And there's who would be the surrogates. You're not young yourself, to take on another kid. I thought about Yanni, Yanni's got the ability, and the toughness. Maybe Gustav Morley. But you'd be best, because you know things no one else can remember about your upbringing, and you can be objective, at least you could with me. But you weren't related to me. That's a difference to think about. That could be a lot of stress, and I'm not sure you want to cope with that now, with Giraud."
Denys had laid the fork down altogether. "I'd have to think about that."
"At least talk to him. Please make him understandI don't want to fight with him. I need him, I'll need him in things I can't foresee yet. That's why I want to do this. Tell himtell him I love him and I know why he's doing these things to stop me, but tell him I know something too and he should let me alone and let me operate. Tell himtell him I understand all his lessons. I've learned from him well enough to protect myself. And tell him if he wants to know what it's like to be a successorI can tell him."
"I'd find that a point of curiosity too," Denys said after a moment, "what degree of integration there is. Is there identity?"
Gentle smile. "Profiles? Say they're real close. What it feels like, uncle Denys, what it feels likeis, you think, I'd never do that. But eventually you would. You almost remember remember things. Because they're part of the whole chain of events that lead to the point you go on from. Because you are a continuance, and what your predecessor did was important and the people she knew are still there, the enemies and the friends are still there for reasons of what she was and what she didmore, you understand what she felt about things and how it all fitted, from the gut, in your glands, in your bloodstream, and, oh, it makes more and more sense. You see yourself on an Archive tape and you feel this incredibleidentitywith that person. You see a little slump; you straighten your own shoulders Stand straight, Ari, don't slouch. You see a little upsetyou feel personally threatened. You see anger. Your pulse picks up a bit. I will write a paper someday, when the subject's much more commonplace. But I don't think it's a thing I want to have in the Bureau Reports right now. I think it's one of those processes Reseune can bastardize for the other agencies that want to do it with easy types. But they'll always send the Specials to us, because they're going to be the real problem cases: Alphas always are. Even CITs. And that means more and more of the best talentbegins at Reseune."
Denys gazed at her a long time without speaking. "I am very much the woman you knew," she said. "Never mind the kid's face. Or the fact my voice hasn't settled yet. There is a kind of fusion. Only I'm already working on Ari's final notes, not her starting hypotheses. Psychogenesis is a given with me. I'll do much more, much more than she did. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Muchmore than we expected."
She laughed. "Which way do I take that?"
"That we're very proud of you. Ipersonallyam very proud of you."
"I'm glad. I'm very glad. I'm very grateful to you, uncle Denys. And to Giraud. I always will be. You see: Ari was such a cold bastard. She learned to be, for very good reasons. But that part didn't have to be exact. I can love my uncles, and I can still be a cold bastard when I have to be, just because I'm very self-protectivebecause no matter what the advantages I've had, I'm a target and I know it. I won't be threatened. I'll be there first. That's the way I am. I want you to know that."
"You're very impressive, young sera."
"Thank you. So are my uncles. And you're both dears and I love you. I want you to think about what I want to doabout Giraud; and talk to Giraud, and tell me how he feels about it."
Denys cleared his throat. "I don't thinkI don't think he'll turn you down."
Is there identity?
She knew damn well that Denys was asking for himself.
What's it like?
WillIremember? That was the really eetee one, which a sane man knew better than to wonder. So she flirted it right past him now; and made him sweat.
"I'll tell you where an interesting study might be, uncle Denys. Getting me and Giraud together someday and letting us compare notes. I have the illusion of memory. I wonder if he will."
Denys had not taken a bite in a half a minute. He sat there a helpless lump.
Shame on you, she thought to herself. That's awful, Ari.
But something in her was quite, quite satisfied.
What in hell's the matter with me?
I'm madder than hell, that's what. Mad that I'm young, mad that I'm dependent, mad that I'm trapped here and Denys is being Denys, and mad that Giraud's timing is so damn lousy, leaving me no way to get that seat. Dammit, I'm not ready for him to die!
Denys' fork rattled, another bite. He was visibly upset.
How can I enjoy doing that? My God. He's an old man. What's gotten into me?
Her own appetite curdled. She poked at the salad, extracting a bit of tomato.
She thought about it that night, listlessly dividing attention between a light sandwich Florian had made her, the evening news, and doing a routine entry on the keyboardwhich she preferred to the Scriber when she was listening to something: the fingers were output-only, and what they were out-putting was in a mental buffer somewhere. Pause. Tick-tick-tick. Pause. While the visual memory played out lunch and uncle Denys and the logical function worked on the politics of it. Is there identity? An eetee kind of question in the first place, never mind that she had eetee feelings about itshe knew how to explain them, in perfectly solid and respectable terms: she was used to deep-study, she could lower her threshold further by wanting to than most people could on E-dose kat, the tapes involved a person identical to her in the identical environment, and the wonder would be if the constant interplay of tape-flash and day-to-day experience of the same halls, the same people, the same situationsdid not muddle together in a flux-habituated brain.