"I didn't. I would never! I can't believe you're accusing me of this."
Me, neither. "I know. I feel terrible, but then why did you meet with Williams? Your signature is in the logs. I have the photocopies right here." Nat heard the desperation in her own tone. Angus's mouth pursed, buried in his dark blond beard.
"Let me see the logs. There must be some mistake."
"Okay." Nat opened the papers and gave him the photocopies of the logs. He rose to take them, reading them over the coffee table. After a minute, he sat back down.
"What are the other papers?" Angus gestured. "In your hand."
No.
"Natalie?"
"Just answer the question. I'm giving you a chance. I love you."
Angus looked down the logs, then looked up again, his features suddenly drawn. His smile had gone. His eyebrows sloped down.
"Tell me. I came to you. I want to know."
Angus took a gulp of champagne, then set the glass down.
Nat waited, breathless. Please have a good explanation.
"Okay, Williams asked me to get him out. I thought about it, but I said no. I would never have done it, you know that."
Nat felt her throat catch. "You met with him three times."
"I guess I did."
"Why did you lie about it, just now?"
"I was embarrassed."
Nat felt a twinge. "So, why did it take you three times to tell Williams you didn't want to represent him?"
Angus's eyes flashed. "You're accusing me. You really are."
"Just level with me. We've talked all about this, and you never mentioned to me that you considered representing Williams. Why?"
Angus met her eye over the champagne, forgotten now.
Nat waited.
"This is over, Nat. Let it lie."
No. "No. You couldn't have been involved in a conspiracy like that, Angus. We figured it out together."
"We did. We love each other."
"I remember talking in the car, about what happened in that security office. You said it was Graf who executed Upchurch." Then Nat realized. He had kept her off the track. Deflected the focus away from Saunders. "You even said they had videotapes from the day of the riot." Then it dawned on her, too. "You sent me on a wild goose chase, didn't you?"
"Nat, no-"
"And in addition to everything else, you put me in danger when you took me to the prison that morning, to your class!"
Angus paused a minute. "I do love you, you know."
"Tell me you were not involved in this conspiracy." Please, say it.
"I didn't know Buford and his pal would be in my class. I would never let you get hurt. Never" Angus locked eyes with her over the table. "I love you. You know that."
Nat's mouth went dry. "But you knew there would be a riot?"
"I thought it would be contained, in RHU. It was supposed to be."
Nat couldn't believe her ears. "It was a diversion from the murder of Ron Saunders."
"It was never supposed to get that far. They let it get that far, and they had to do it. It wasn't my idea. I didn't want to know anything about it."
Nat felt her mouth drop open.
Angus closed his eyes, still sitting there.
"Angus." Nat felt her own heartbeat. The apartment was so quiet that she swore she could hear bubbles popping in the champagne. "You did not take money to get Williams out of jail. That would be illegal."
Angus opened his eyes. "It would be illegal, but it wouldn't be unjust."
Nat couldn't speak. She felt as if she had entered some alternate universe. Her world had gone topsy-turvy again. She loved this man, and he had lost his mind.
"You remember when we talked about the difference between law and justice, the day we met?" Angus asked, his tone calm. "This is a perfect example. When Williams first asked me, I thought, of course not. But he kept throwing these numbers at me, and I thought, I could do so much good with that money." Angus's eyes glittered in the soft lamplight. "I could fund programs, hire expert witnesses, help people. Those experts I just hired in the case against the city? They cost twenty-five grand. Where else would I have gotten that money? I helped the very people that Williams hurt. With his money. It's reparations."
Nat felt herself go numb.
"I've almost spent a hundred grand of it, this year. We bought fifteen experts in an array of civil cases. Taken days of depositions. Hired a first-rate co-counsel. Staged the level of litigation that only big firms can. I've gone to war for my clients and I've won cases with that money. That's justice. Even if it's not law."
"Ron Saunders died, and Upchurch, too," Nat whispered, barely finding her voice.
"I didn't expect that. I didn't know that. I thought Williams would get away and they'd pick him up again in a few months. They always do. A scumbag like that, he's always in trouble. In fact, I considered diming on him myself."
"But he kills people. Kids. They die in crossfire. Men like him destroy communities."
"He was the means to an end, and the end was worth it to me."
Nat felt tears come to her eyes. "But this can't be true. They tried to kill us with that pickup that night. Parrat crashed into us."
"I know, and I was totally pissed. They wanted me out. They didn't need me anymore. I only brokered the deal." Angus took a step toward her. "See, I wasn't really in it, Natalie. They wanted me to kill you, but I didn't. I couldn't. I fell in love with you. It's real."
Nat's heart stopped. "Kill me?"
"That night in Delaware, in the motel. They told me to kill you, but I didn't. I wasn't going to kill you. I was going to get you out of town."
Oh my God. Nat thought back to that night. The night she ran out on him. He'd found her to kill her. Would he have done it? Was he telling the truth?
"You believe me, don't you?"
I think you're crazy. And I'm crazy for falling in love with you.
"Don't look at me like that. I wasn't in deep, like they were. I just acted as a go-between between the two parties, like any lawyer."
"Like any lawyer? You took money to break the law. To release a dangerous man into the world. You looked the other way when they killed Ron Saunders and Simon Upchurch. You-"
"Let me see the papers," Angus said impatiently, reaching out his hand.
"No."
"Natalie, give me the papers." I can t.
"What do they say? What proof did he have? He couldn't have proof. There wasn't any proof. I was careful."
"Angus, please." Nat felt a tear spill down her cheek. "Take it back. Take it all back. There's still time."
"Give me the papers!" Angus grabbed the papers from her, then looked up. "These are blank!" A sheaf of empty pages fluttered uselessly to the rug. "What's going on here?"
Suddenly the apartment door burst open and four troopers exploded into the living room, their guns drawn. "Hands up!" they yelled. "Get your hands up now!" Troopers filled the hallway.
"What?" An astonished Angus put his hands in the air.
Nat stood by, wet-eyed and stricken. Saunders had been right. It had all been true, but it hadn't been enough to convict. She'd known it, and so had Mundy and the D.A. So they'd hooked her up with a wire, which she wore underneath her T-shirt. She had gotten Angus to confess, and his own words would send him to prison for years and years.
The very notion made her want to curl up and die.
Chapter 50
“Sorry, I'm late!" Nat called out, letting the door slam closed behind her and walking into her parents' elegant entrance hall. It still seemed empty without Jelly to greet her, but this wasn't a day to think about bad things.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAT!" Paul called out from the kitchen. When she reached him, he slapped her a high five, with a resounding whack!
"Thank you, bro! What'd you get me for my big day?"
"A KITTEN."
Nat's heart jumped up. "For real?"
"NO, LOSER." Paul burst into laughter, and Nat gave him a shove. "HEY, WATCH IT! I'M A HEART PATIENT!"
The scene was the usual Sunday afternoon craziness. The July sun streamed through the windows, flooding the kitchen with lemony light, and her family, in pastel golf clothes, shifted around the room like suburban shadows. Her mother chopped cantaloupe into chunks to make her trademark melon and prosciutto, her father poured himself a Heineken, and Tom and Junior arm-wrestled at the granite island next to two tall Pilsners of beer.