“Or you could flag down a car in an hour.”
“I could. But I won’t.”
“You keep saying that. But how do I know?”
“That’s the faith part. You don’t know. No guarantees.”
“Well, I guess I don’t have any faith.”
“Then I’m dead. And your life’s never gonna change. End of story.” He sat back and shrugged.
That silence again but it was like it was really this roar all around us. “You just want... What do you want?”
He drank more scotch. “Here’s a proposal. Let me walk outside.”
“Oh, right. Just let you stroll out for some fresh air or something?”
“Let me walk outside and I promise you I’ll walk right back in again.”
“Like a test?”
He thought about this for a second. “Yeah. A test.”
“Where’s this faith you’re talking about? You walk outside, you try to run and I’d shoot you in the back.”
“No, what you do is you put the gun someplace in the house. The kitchen or someplace. Somewhere you couldn’t get it if I ran. You stand at the window, where we can see each other. And I’ll tell you up front I can run like the wind. I was lettered track and field in college and I still jog every day of the year.”
“You know if you run and bring the cops back it’s all gonna get bloody. I’ll kill the first five troopers come through that door. Nothing’ll stop me and that blood’ll be on your hands.”
“Of course I know that,” he said. “But if this’s going to work you can’t think that way. You’ve got to assume the worst is going to happen. That if I run I’ll tell the cops everything. Where you are and that there’re no hostages here and that you’ve only got one or two guns. And they’re going to come in and blow you to hell. And you’re not going to take a single one down with you. You’re going to die and die painfully ’cause of a few lousy bucks. But, but, but...” He held up his hands and stopped me from saying anything. “You gotta understand, faith means risk.”
“That’s stupid.”
“I think it’s just the opposite. It’d be the smartest thing you’d ever do in your life.”
I tossed back another scotch and had to think about this.
Weller said, “I can see it there already. Some of that faith. It’s there. Not a lot. But some.”
And yeah, maybe there was a little. ’Cause I was thinking about how mad I got at Toth and the way he ruined everything. I didn’t want anybody to get killed tonight. I was sick of it. Sick of the way my life had gone. Sometimes it was good, being alone and all. Not answering to anybody. But sometimes it was real bad. And this guy Weller, it was like he was showing me something different.
“So,” I said. “You just want me to put the gun down?”
He looked around. “Put it in the kitchen. You stand in the doorway or window. All I’m gonna do is walk down to the street and walk back.”
I looked out the window. It was maybe fifty feet down the driveway. There were these bushes on either side of it. He could just take off and I’d never find him.
All through the sky I could see police-car lights flickering.
“Naw, I ain’t gonna. You’re nuts.”
I expected begging or something. Or him getting pissed off more likely — which is what happens to me when people don’t do what I tell them. Or don’t do it fast enough. But, naw, he just nodded. “Okay, Jack. You thought about it. That’s a good thing. You’re not ready yet. I respect that.” He sipped a little more scotch, looking at the glass. And that was the end of it.
Then all of a sudden these searchlights started up. They was some ways away but I still got spooked and backed away from the window. Pulled my gun out. Only then I saw that it wasn’t nothing to do with the robbery. It was just a couple big spotlights shining on the Lookout. They must’ve gone on every night, this time.
I looked up at it. From here it didn’t look like a face at all. It was just a rock. Gray and brown and these funny pine trees growing sideways out of cracks.
Watching it for a minute or two. Looking out over the town. And something that guy was saying went into my head. Not the words, really. Just the thought. And I was thinking about everybody in that town. Leading normal lives. There was a church steeple and the roofs of small houses. A lot of little yellow lights in town. You could just make out the hills in the distance. And I wished for a minute I was in one of them houses. Sitting there. Watching TV with a wife next to me.
I turned back from the window and I said, “You’d just walk down to the road and back? That’s it?”
“That’s all. I won’t run off, you don’t go get your gun. We trust each other. What could be simpler?”
Listening to the wind. Not strong but a steady hiss that was comforting in a funny way even though any other time I’da thought it sounded cold and raw. It was like I heard a voice. I don’t know. Something in me said I oughta do this.
I didn’t say nothing else ’cause I was right on the edge and I was afraid he’d say something that’d make me change my mind. I just took the Smith & Wesson and looked at it for a minute then went and put it on the kitchen table. I came back with the Buck and cut his feet free. Then I figured if I was going to do it I oughta go all the way. So I cut his hands free too. Weller seemed surprised I did that. But he smiled like he knew I was playing the game. I pulled him to his feet and held the blade to his neck and took him to the door.
“You’re doing a good thing,” he said.
I was thinking: Oh, man. I can’t believe this. It’s crazy. Part of me said, Cut him now, cut his throat. Do it!
But I didn’t. I opened the door and smelled cold fall air and wood smoke and pine and I heard the wind in the rocks and trees above our head.
“Go on,” I told him.
Weller started off and he didn’t look back to check on me, see if I went to get the gun... faith, I guess. He kept walking real slow down toward the road.
I felt funny, I’ll tell you, and a couple times when he went past some real shadowy places in the driveway and could disappear I was like, Oh, man, this is all messed up. I’m crazy.
I almost panicked a few times and bolted for the Smitty but I didn’t. When Weller got down near the sidewalk I was actually holding my breath. I expected him to go, I really did. I was looking for that moment — when people tense up, when they’re gonna swing or draw down on you or bolt. It’s like their bodies’re shouting what they’re going to be doing before they do it. Only Weller wasn’t doing none of that. He walked down to the sidewalk real casual. And he turned and looked up at the face of the Lookout, like he was just another weekender.
Then he turned around. He nodded at me.
Which is when the cop car came by.
It was a state trooper. Those’re the dark ones and he didn’t have the light bar going. So he was almost here before I knew it. I guess I was looking at Weller so hard I didn’t see nothing else.
There it was, two doors away, and Weller saw it the same time I did.
And I thought: That’s it. Oh, hell.
But when I was turning to get the gun I saw this motion down by the road. And I stopped cold.
Could you believe it? Weller’d dropped onto the ground and rolled underneath a tree. I closed the door real fast and watched from the window. The trooper stopped and turned his light on the driveway. The beam — it was real bright — it moved up and down and hit all the bushes and the front of the house then back to the road. But it was like Weller was digging down into the pine needles to keep from being seen. I mean, he was hiding from those sons of bitches. Doing whatever he could to stay out of the way of the light.