That night, Daisy dreamed she flew around Lovett in nothing but her shorty pajamas, over the tops of the treesand power poles. Mount Rainier suddenly rose up out of the flat Texas panhandle, and she flew over that too.
Her toes touched the snowy peak as higher and higher she soared. Out of control like a helium balloon, up andup she went, and she was terrified because she knew there was only one outcome. She was going to fall. It wasinevitable, and it was going to hurt like hell.
Then just as she was about to break through the Earth's atmosphere, gravity sucked at her feet and yanked herback down. Down past Mount Rainier and the tops of the trees, and she knew she was going to die.
Before she hit, her eyes popped open and she realized two things at once. One, she wasn't going to go smack,and two, she was holding her breath. Morning light filtered across her bed and she let out a sigh of relief. Buther relief was short-lived as the events of the prior evening came back to her all at once.
Smack.
The humiliation she hadn't felt last night brought her fully awake like a bucket of cold water. Now in the lightof day, she recalled every excruciating detail. Jack's slick warm mouth, the feel of his bare chest and the touchof his hands on her.
She groaned and covered her face with a pillow. The memory of her legs wrapped around his waist wasespecially painful. She hadn't behaved like that since... since... since she'd pulled Jack into a closet their senioryear in high school. Back then she'd been young and naive. She was neither of those things now.
Now she was an idiot.
Last night she'd wanted to lick Jack. Today she had to tell him about Nathan. How could she look him in theeyes after she'd kissed him and touched him. "Oh God," she said as she recalled in detail her confession that shehadn't had sex in two years. How could she face him after that?
She didn't have a choice, that's how.
She tossed the pillow off her head and got out of bed. Dressed in the same shorty pajamas as in her dream, shemade her way downstairs. After Jack had left her against the wall at Slim Clem's, she'd gone back into the bar,pleaded food poisoning, and made Lily take her home. She hadn't seen Jack and, for that at least, was thankful.
Her mother sat at the breakfast nook in the kitchen wearing a pink nylon nightgown. One side of her blondcotton-candy hair looked a little flat.
Last night, Pippen had been sound asleep when Lily dropped her off, so he'd spent the night. He was in his highchair next to his grandmother, eating cereal and drinking juice from his Tommy cup. He wore his coonskin cap,his Blue's Clues jammies, and a Cheerio was stuck to his cheek. "Good morning, Mom," she greeted as shepoured herself a cup of coffee. "How's it going, Pip?"
"Watch 'toons," Pippen answered.
"You can watch cartoons after breakfast," Louella told him, then she glanced over at Daisy and used the tone ofvoice that let Daisy know she was very disappointed. "I heard what happened. Thelma Morgan called thismorning and told me everything."
Daisy felt her cheek catch fire. "Thelma Morgan saw me?" Where had she been hiding? Behind the Dumpster?
It was only eight in the morning, and the day was already shaping up to be pure hell.
"She pulled into the Minute Mart for a cup of coffee and a bear claw, and she saw the whole thing."
What? "Oh." Daisy let out a huge sigh of relief and laughed. "That."
"Yes that. What where you and Lily thinking?
Making a fuss in public?" Louella took a bite of her toast. "For cryin' all night loud in a bucket."
"We were getting a Dr. Pepper at the Minute Mart," Daisy explained and purposely left out the part about Lily'sstalking her soon to be ex. She walked across the kitchen and sat at the nook with her mother. "You-know-who," she paused and glanced at Pippen, "and Kelly pulled into the parking lot, and one thing led to another.
Then you-know-who shoved Lily"
Louella pursed her lips and set her toast back on her plate. "You should have called the police."
Probably. "I didn't think. I just saw him push her and I lost my mind. Without giving it a thought, I slugged himin the eye and kneed him between the legs." She still couldn't believe she'd behaved like that.
One corner of her mother's pursed lips turned up. "Did you damage him?"
Daisy shook her head and blew into her cup. "I don't think so."
"That seems a shame." She pushed her plate aside. "Have you seen Jack?"
Yeah, she'd seen him. His naked chest and slick abdomen. His eyes at half mast and his lips moist from kissingher, but that wasn't what her mother wanted to Wow. "I haven't told him about Nathan yet," she answered andtook a drink of her coffee. "I'm going over there this morning to talk to him."
One brow rose up Louella's forehead. "You've certainly put it off until the last moment."
"I know." She looked down at the bright yellow tabletop. "I used to be so sure I'd done the right thing. I used tobelieve that not telling Jack aboutNathan and moving to Washington had been best for everyone."
'It was."
"I'm not so sure now." She brushed her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. "Before I came back totown, I was sure. I was sure moving away with Nathan was the best choice, even for Jack." She looked back up.
"We always meant to tell him, Mom. We wanted to give Jack a few years to get his life together, and then weplanned to tell him."
Pippen dropped his empty cup on the floor and Louella bent to pick it up. "I know you did." She set it on thetable.
"But the longer we put it off, the harder it got. Months and years passed and there was always an excuse whywe couldn't tell him right then. I was trying to get pregnant with Steven's baby or Nathan was happy and wedidn't want to disrupt his life. It was always something. Always an excuse, because how do you tell a man hehas a child he doesn't know about?" She leaned forward and crossed her forearms on the table. "Now I'm not sosure I did the right thing all those years ago. I'm beginning to think I never should have left without telling him."
"I think you're afraid and now you're questioning everything."
"Maybe."
"Daisy, you were young and scared and you made the right decision at the time."
She'd always thought that too. She didn't know anymore. The only thing she knew for certain was that she'dbeen wrong to wait so long. How was she ever to make it right?
"Jack wasn't ready to be a father," her mother insisted. "Steven was."
"You always liked Steven more than Jack."
Her mother was quiet a moment than said, "That's not really true. I just always thought Steven was the stabler ofthe two. Jack was more wild. You can't blame a person for what's in his nature, but you can't rely on him either.
Your daddy was reckless like that, and look what happened to him. To us."
"Daddy didn't die and leave us on purpose."
"No, but he did. He left me with two children, a busted-up Winnebego and three hundred dollars." Louellashook her head. "When it came to taking care of you and a baby, Steven was better prepared."
"Because his family had money."
"Money is important." She held up her hand as if Daisy were going to argue. "I know love is too. I loved yourdaddy. He loved me and he loved you girls, but love doesn't put food in your children's mouths. Love doesn'tbuy a winter coat or school shoes." Her mother reached across the table and grabbed Daisy's hand. "But even ifyou made the wrong decision all those years ago, it can't be changed now. Nathan has a good life. Steven was awonderful father. You did the best thing for your child."
Listening to her mother, made it all sound so logical. Daisy wasn't so sure anymore that the choice should havebeen left up to logic. Being young and scared explained why she hadn't told him fifteen years ago. It didn'texplain why she hadn't told him until now.
"Look at Lily," her mother said just above a whisper. "Her life was chaotic long before you-know-who finallymoved out. He was always running around on her. Always doing crazy things. She never should have marriedthat wild boy, and Pippen is paying the highest price. He doesn't talk as well as he should, and he is no wherenear ready for potty training. He's actually been back sliding in his behavior."