One of the hardest things she'd ever done was stand there toe-to-toe with Jack and not take another step back orlook away from his angry eyes. "You have to understand that we never meant to hurt you. We both loved you."
"Bullshit."
"It's the truth."
"If that's what you do to people you love, I can't imagine what you have in store for people you hate."
Her head began to pound and she put a hand to her brow, but she didn't remove her gaze from his. "You have toremember what it was like between you and me back then. We were fighting and making up all the time. Thatfirst month, I was so scared, and I told myself I was just late. Then the second month I told myself not to thinkabout it, but by the third month, I had to face it." She dropped her hand. "Your parents had just died and youwere going through such a bad time. The night I came to tell you I was pregnant, you said you needed a breakfrom me. I didn't think you loved me anymore. I didn't know what to do." The backs of her eyes stung but sherefused to give in to tears. "I didn't have anyone to talk to about it but Steven. I went to him and he asked me tomarry him. He said he'd take care of me and my baby."
"You keep forgetting that the baby was mine. That I should have been told about it before the two of you ran offto Seattle."
"We talked about telling you, but we thought that if you knew, you'd want to marry me out of obligation, butJack, you were in no position to take care of me and a baby. You were only eighteen and already dealing withso much. It seemed like the only solution."
"No, it was the easy way out for you. Steven had money and I had nothing."
"That's not why I married him. You know that I always loved Steven. If you weren't so angry, you'd rememberthat you loved him too." She placed her hands on his bare arms. Jack might never forgive her, but she had tomake him understand. "I married him because I was scared. You didn't love me anymore, and I didn't knowwhat to do."
"How did it feel, Daisy?" His voice lowered, got rough and smooth at the same time. "How did it feel to getback at me for not loving you? Did taking my child make you feel good? Did it satisfy your revenge?"
"It wasn't about revenge."
He grabbed her wrists and removed her hands from his arms. "Did lying with Steven Monroe get me out of yourhead. Your heart? When you were with him, were you thinking of me??
"No!"
"Remembering how it used to be between us?" His voice lowered even further and he pinned her wrists behindher back. "How good it was." He pulled her up against his body and said against her temple, "How good it stillis."
The brim of his hat touched the top of her head. "Stop it, Jack."
"All those years, were the two of you laughing it up over what you'd done to me?"
"No, Jack. It wasn't like that. No one was laughing." Her heart knocked in her chest and she swallowed hard.
"Believe me. I know I should have told you sooner."
His voice got real quiet next to her ear when he asked, "Who's listed as daddy on that boy's birth certificate?"
"Steven."
He pulled back far enough to look into her face. "Goddamn you, Daisy."
"We thought it would be easier for him in school. I'm sorry"
"I don't give a flying fuck how sorry you are. Because it's not half as sorry as you're going to be."
"What do you mean?"
He set her back on her heels and slid his hands to her shoulders. "All those years ago when you chose Stevenover me because I was just a poor kid with grease on my hands, working in my daddy's garage that's not howthings are now. I'm not poor anymore, Daisy I can afford a real good lawyer, and if I have to, I'll fight you."
"There won't be a fight."
"I want to know my son."
"You can get to know him. I want you to. And when we leave -"
"When you leave," he interrupted. "He stays."
"That's ridiculous. He's not staying here with you. His home is with me. In Seattle."
"We'll see about that."
"I know you're angry. I don't blame you."
"Nice to know you don't blame me." He released her and turned to the door.
"I should have told you about Nathan years ago, but don't punish him because you're mad at me." She followedclose behind him to the front porch. "He's been through so much. He lost his dad and now this."
Jack turned around so fast she almost ran into his chest. "He didn't lose his dad. Steven Monroe wasn't hisfather."
Daisy wisely didn't point out that Nathan thought of Steven as his dad and had loved him. "Nathan's beenthrough a lot in the past few years. He needs a little peace. Some calm in his life." She didn't add that sheneeded it too. "I'll talk to him. See what he wants to do, and I'll call you."
"I'm not going to wait around for you to call me, Daisy Lee." He moved down the steps toward his Mustangparked at the curb. "After I talk to Nathan, I'll tell you how it's going to be," he said as he walked away, themorning sun shining down on his straw hat and his wide shoulders.
"Wait." She ran down the steps after him. "You can't talk to him alone. I'm his mother. He doesn't know you."
He walked around the front of the car then stuck his key in the driver's side door. "Whose fault is that?"
She looked at him from across the top of the car. "I should be there."
He looked back at her and laughed. "Like I should have been there for the past fifteen years?"
She grabbed the door handle to jump in his car but the door was locked. Then she remembered Pippen andrealized she couldn't go even if she forced her way into his car. "Nathan is my son. You can't exclude me."
"Get used to it."
"We can work this out. I know we can." She didn't know anything of the sort, but she was determined to keepthings from getting too ugly. "I should have told you. I know that, and except for handing over my son, I'll tryand make it up to you."
"How? On the trunk of a car?" He unlocked the Mustang's door. "Not interested."
So much for keeping things from getting too ugly.
Nathan sat with his back against the basketball pole at Lovett High. The backboard and hoop cast an oblongshadow on the court to the free-throw line.
He gazed across the football field to the tennis courts. He didn't like it here. He didn't know what he expectedTexas to look like, maybe like Montana. He and his dad had been to Montana once, but Texas wasn't like that.
Texas was flat. And hot. And brown.
Texas was nothing at all like Seattle.
He pushed with his feet and slid up the pole until he stood. He adjusted the chain around his neck and glanced atthe high school behind him. "High school," he scoffed. It wasn't even as big as the grade school he'd gone too.
They probably all wore cowboy boots and rode horses to school. Probably all listened to crappy country andwestern music and chewed tobacco. Probably nobody rode skateboards or listened to Korn or Weezer or playedSniper Fantasy for XBOX.
Nathan pulled up his pants and hardly noticed when they slipped back down his hips. Problems bigger than hisbaggy pants occupied his thoughts. He'd dropped his skateboard at Jack Parrish's garage, and then he'd run awaylike a big scared baby.
He really wished he hadn't done that, but the way Jack had grabbed his arm had freaked him out. And the wayhe'd looked and swore at him, too. One second they'd all been laughing, and in the next, Jack had grabbed himand stared at him so intensely, he'd about capped his pants. Nathan didn't know if Jack had figured it out in thatmoment, but by the look on his face, he thought maybe he had. Then before Nathan had even realized what hewas doing, he ran away like a little kid.
Jack probably thought he was a dork.
With a shrug of his shoulders he told himself he didn't care. His dad had told him lots of stories about Jack. Hemade him sound real cool, like someone Nathan would really like. But he didn't think he liked Jack. He likedBilly, though. Billy watched "Monster Garage." Billy was cool.