“Me sides are killin’ me,” I said as I set the table.
Ma snorted. “I think we both needed that laugh.”
“I know I did.”
I felt better. After the week I had, and the current day especially, it was nice to forget about everything and just laugh with my ma. She always knew what to say and do to make me feel better. We continued to tell jokes and laugh ... until the front door opened.
“I’m home, love.”
I looked up at my ma and watched as a huge smile broke out across her face as my da entered the house. She quickly adjusted her apron and ruffled her hair and ran out to the hall to meet him like she was sixteen and her boyfriend just randomly stopped by for a visit. If I didn’t know what a piece of shite my da was, I would have thought his relationship with my ma was perfect, but it was one-sided. My ma adored him, and he repaid that love and admiration by sleeping with another woman.
It made my blood boil.
“Alannah, love,” Da beamed when he entered the room, his arms still around my ma as she hugged him tightly, her face buried against his chest. “You’re ’ere early.”
There was no way on God’s green earth that I was telling him the real reason I was here early, and I knew my ma wouldn’t either.
I shrugged. “I wanted to spend some time with Ma.”
He smiled, looked down at my ma, and gave her a kiss. My fingers flexed before balling into fists. I wanted to savage the man like a wild animal for his deceit and leave nothing left for the birds to pick at, and the only reason I hadn’t already done it was because of my ma. She was the only reason.
“Are you ready for food now?” Ma asked my da, leaning back so she could look up at him.
She was my height—five-foot-five—and my da was six-foot-four. He was super tall, and was called lanky more times than not by my ma. For some reason, my mind compared him to Damien because they were the same height. It annoyed me further because I wished that I could say that Damien would never cheat on a partner, but after witnessing my da cheating on my ma, it faulted my trust in all men.
Da nodded. “Starved.”
“Perfect,” Ma chirped, removing her arms from him and turning to the food. “Go wash up, and I’ll dish the food.”
My da didn’t need to be told twice; he headed out of the room, removing his coat and suit jacket as he went, and hung them up in the hall on the coat rack. I left him to use the upstairs bathroom to wash up while I waited for my ma to finish at the sink so I could use it. I didn’t want to be on my own with my da—I was afraid of what I would or wouldn’t say to him if I was.
“What’s that face for?”
I looked at my ma. “Huh?”
“You look like you’ve swallowed somethin’ sour,” she joked.
“Just starvin’ for this dinner. It smells amazin’.”
“Sit down,” Ma shooed. “I’ll dish your plate first.”
I did as I was told and took my seat at the table. My ma put a steaming hot plate of chicken stir-fry in front of me, followed by some rice. My da re-entered the room, and she did the same for him, before joining us with her own plate of food. We bowed our heads as my ma thanked God for our meal, and when she was finished, my da echoed her amen.
I remained mute.
“How was your meetin’?” Ma asked my da, starting the conversation.
“Pretty good,” Da answered, taking a bite of his food. “This quarter was better than our last, so sales are improvin’ steadily.”
I tuned out while they discussed business. I didn’t care about my da’s job, or him in general, so sitting and listening about his day was not at the top of my to-do list. However, to keep face, I had to endure it. No matter how sickly mad it made me.
“Alannah.” I looked up when my name was called.
I swallowed the bite of food in my mouth.
“Huh?”
“I asked how your interview went last week,” Da said. “Ye’know, the person you wanted to hire to run your graphic business online, so you could focus on the designs you needed to create.”
I stared at my da for a moment, surprised he remembered my interview, or that he took an interest in my work at all. I considered telling him to fuck off, but that would only cause problems.
“I had to reschedule,” I said, looking at my plate as I scooped more food onto my fork. “It’s takin’ place tomorrow instead.”
I practically shovelled my food into my mouth, hoping that would deter either of my parents from asking me any more questions. Luckily, chatter for the remaining thirty minutes of dinner was between my parents, and I only had to give one-word answers when they threw a question my way. Afterward, I put all the dishes in the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen, then I joined my parents in the sitting room. From the second I entered the room, I felt like something was off.
I paused by the doorway.
“Come in, hon.” Ma smiled, though I could see it was strained. “Sit.”
She gestured for me to sit on the settee that faced them, so with a raised brow, I did as she asked.
“Is everythin’ okay?”
My parents shared a look, and instantly, I knew the answer to my question was no.
“Ma?” I prompted. “What’s wrong?”
She looked at me. Her eyes were now filled with tears, and it caused my stomach to churn.
“Oh, God,” I whispered. “Is it Nanny? Granda? Brogan?”
“No, no,” Ma quickly said, wiping her eyes. “Everyone is okay. Nanny, Granda, and Brogan are perfectly fine.”
Brogan was my cousin, and she was only six years old. She had lived with my grandparents since her parents, my auntie and uncle, passed away in a house fire when she was only a few months old. They lived in County Offaly, so we only saw them occasionally, but I was relieved to hear they were all okay.
“Then what’s wrong?” I pressed. “And don’t tell me nothin’. I can see it in your eyes, Ma.”
My da grabbed my ma’s hand when she broke down, and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.
“Oh God,” I said to myself, gripping the settee cushion just so I had something to hold onto.
Whatever it was my parents had to tell me, it was bad.
“I’m sorry,” Ma whimpered. “I don’t want to be a blubberin’ eejit. I promised meself I wouldn’t cry.”
“Hey.” Da frowned at her. “You’re nothin’ of the sort; you can’t help your emotions.”
I stared at them and just about exploded.
“Tell me what is goin’ on!” I demanded. “Right now.”
Ma sniffled. “We need to tell you somethin’, but please, don’t be scared.”
I looked from my ma to my da and back again.
Is this about his affair? Does she know? Are they about to tell me about it?
“Before we tell you anythin’,” Ma said with as stern as an expression as she could muster, “I want you to sit and listen until we’re finished talkin’. I don’t want you to worry.”
I was beyond worried.
“Tell me,” I almost choked out. “Please.”
Ma’s lower lip wobbled, and after a pregnant pause, she said, “I’m sick.”
My heart stopped.
“Sick?”
She nodded and sniffled, fresh tears splashing onto her cheeks.
“How sick?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. “How sick are you, Ma?”
“I haven’t been feelin’ very well these past few weeks, so I went to my GP about it, and he advised me to go to the hospital to have some tests done after he found somethin’ durin’ an examination.”
What’d he find?
I placed my hand over my mouth and stared at my ma with what I knew was terror in my eyes. My stomach twisted in knots, and I began to tremble.