Sophia sighed. "Oh boy. So, I fall in love with the most unlikely guy I could have ever picked. And now I can’t get him to do anything about it."
"You know Warren. He’s got about as much experience with girls as I do with nuclear physics." They both laughed. "If I know Warren-and I do-he’s keeping himself up nights trying to figure out a way to tell you how he feels. And, if I still know Warren-he’s not going to be able to do it. Sophia, he is terrified."
"Oy veh. So, where does this leave me?"
"With the ball in your court."
"Um…meaning…"
"Meaning you are going to have to take the first step, here."
"Me? Ask him out?"
"You got it."
"Oh boy. I’ve never done that before."
"That’s fitting, because I’m sure he’s never been asked out before, either."
Sophia chuckled, and then got serious: "I don’t know if I can do it. I know I’ve had more experience than he has, but I’ve never been aggressive. I was never allowed to. I’ve always been passive."
"Didn’t Warren tell me that was one of the things that you were working on-making your own decisions, going after things, being more aggressive?"
"Yeah."
"So, show the boy what you’ve learned!"
Sophia laughed.
"Look," Alison continued. "I know he’s shown some serious courage on your behalf recently."
"Standing up for me with Scott."
"Exactly. And, not to be blunt, but it is your turn. You know how he feels. He hasn’t said it, but he’s shown you. But he does not know how you feel. And somebody’s got to say it, dammit!!"
Sophia laughed. Alison was right. Sophia said so.
"I always am," Alison replied cheerfully.
It took until Tuesday. Sophia spent the whole day at work with Warren on Monday paralyzed with fright, and spent the whole day-including their customary walk home-without saying a word about it.
And then spent Monday night kicking herself for not saying anything.
They walked home Tuesday. Warren insisted on carrying Sophia’s bookbag-like he did Monday-to save her injured torso. He prattled on the whole way home, while Sophia muttered "hmmm" and "yeah".
They got to her house, and she grabbed his hand and led him to the seat on the porch.
"Sophia. Hello, Earth to Sophia! Are you in there?"
"Hmmm? Oh!…Warren, I’m sorry."
"You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?"
"Not really. I’m sorry. I’ve got something on my mind."
"AAA. I thought I saw the smoke coming out of your ears." Sophia giggled. "Anything I can help you out with?"
"Nah, War, I’m alright. Just something I have to work out in my mind. I made a decision about something, and now I have to figure out how to put it into action."
"Hmm. Sounds weighty. Maybe Warren the Magnificent can lend a hand?"
"I don’t think so, Warren. This is something I have to do. And I have to do it myself."
"Another self-improvement mission?"
Sophia giggled. "You might say that."
"Well, then, Sophia. Just do it. You gonna let me in on it, at least?"
Sophia thought about that for a moment. Just do it. What the fuck, right? He was right. Just do it. She laughed to herself-little did he know what he was talking about.
"Yeah, Warren, I think I will let you in on it. I’ve made up my mind. I have to do something. And what I have to do, is this…" and she put her arms around him, reached in, and gave him a long, slow, beautiful kiss.
And Warren couldn’t have been more shocked if Paul McCartney had strolled down the street strumming a guitar and singing "Hey Jude".
Sophia broke the kiss-and wished for a camera, because the look on Warren’s face was priceless. And then she said it: "Warren Kelleher, will you go out with me?"
Warren blinked. Then he shook his head, because Paul McCartney was still walking down the street, but now Ringo was playing tambourine along side. He looked at Sophia, and said the only thing that came to mind: "Are you SERIOUS?"
Sophia laughed. "Let’s see…I just gave you the greatest kiss of your entire life…"
"True. Not that there was much competition, mind you."
"…forget that part. Like I said, greatest kiss of your life, then I ask you to be my boyfriend, and you have to ask if I’m serious??"
"Well, it was unexpected."
"Only because you’re horrible at picking up subtle hints. And because I’m perpetually confused. I should’ve done this a while ago."
"You should’ve?"
"Yes, I should have. Is it so inconceivable? Me asking you out?"
"YES!"
"Why?"
"It just is. We have completely different lifestyles. We have different friends. Shit, Soph, your friends are going to hound you mercilessly for going out with someone like me. Plus, you’re beautiful-and I’m just plain ol’ Warren."
"I happen to think plain ol’ Warren is pretty hot. You might be Prep Boy, but you’re still good looking. Besides which, inside, you are the most beautiful person I know. We can integrate our lifestyles, because mine is changing with or without you anyway. As for my friends-the ones I really care about will get over it, and as for the rest, fuck ‘em. Warren…I love you. More than I ever thought I could love another person."
Warren looked down at her. She had the most incredible smile, and was looking at him with complete adoration. He realized he had seen that look before, but didn’t know it for what it was. Maybe she hadn’t known it for what it was, either, but she had figured it out. She’d figured it out, and taken an enormous leap of faith. He knew being aggressive wasn’t one of her strengths-but she had taken the initiative. And he was so thankful that she had.
"Sophia, I love you, too. Yes, I will go out with you."
FULL METAL JESSICA (Chapter 7)
They spent a few minutes sitting on Sophia’s porch, cuddling and kissing a bit, not saying much of anything. Sophia couldn’t believe how happy and relieved she felt, and Warren was plainly looking like the cat who had eaten the canary. She was reclining on the seat, the back of her head against his chest, his arms around her waist, both of their legs spread out on the bench. She could hear his heart beating. It was a very comfortable place to be.
Then Sophia saw movement coming up the street. "Uh Oh."
"Uh oh, what?"
"Remember how you were talking about my friends, and how I said they’d just have to get used to it? Well, here comes the first test. That’s Jessie walking up the street."
"Your best friend, Jessie?"
"The same."
"You wanna get up and sit next to me, so she doesn’t see us all cozy like this?"
"Not on your life."
"Wow. Did somebody give you a chutzpah infusion today?" They both laughed, as Jessie walked up the stairs to the porch, a very quizzical look on her face.
"Yo, Soph," she said.
"Hiya, Jessie. Jess, this is Warren."
"So this is the famous Prep Boy, eh? Right. So what the fuck is going on here??"
Warren and Sophia both laughed. "OK, Jess," Sophia said, "I fucked up that introduction. Jess, this is my boyfriend Warren."
"BOYFRIEND????"
"That’s right."
"When did this happen?"
Warren laughed, as Sophia replied, "Oh, about five or so minutes ago!"
Jessie moved to the chair across from the bench where Warren and Sophia were. She looked completely dumbfounded. Then she looked at Warren and said, "You mean to tell me that the Preppie actually had the balls to ask you out?"
Sophia laughed out loud, as Warren looked embarrassed. "Actually, I asked him out."
"Where did you get the balls to ask him out?"
"Dunno. I just did."
Jessie was completely amazed. Then, she got a wry little smile on her face, and said to Warren, "Very nice. Can’t even ask the girl out yourself, haveta wait until she does it. Typical Preppie."