‘I’d just finished my first year at university,’ I told Bridget, ‘and I’d come back home for the summer — ’
‘What were you studying?’ she said.
‘Philosophy.’
‘Why?’
I looked at her. ‘I don’t know … I thought it’d be interesting, I suppose.’
‘Was it?’
I shrugged. ‘It was OK. I mean, to be honest, I didn’t really know what I was doing back then. I didn’t know what I wanted to be, what I wanted to do with my life … my father was hoping that I’d join the police force after I’d taken my degree — ’
‘The police?’
‘Yeah, well, he was a police officer — ’
‘Really?’
I nodded. ‘And so was his father … so, you know, it was kind of a family tradition.’
‘So what does your dad think of you being a private detective?’
‘He’s dead now.’
‘Oh … I’m sorry.’
I nodded again. ‘Well, anyway … it was the summer of 1990, a Friday night, and I was having a drink in the Double Locks … you know the place I mean?’
‘Yeah, down by the river … it’s a nice pub.’
‘Yeah, so I was just sitting there, a little bit drunk — ’
‘Were you on your own?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Why? I mean, didn’t you have any friends or a girlfriend or anything?’
I shrugged. ‘I didn’t have a girlfriend at the time, no. I had friends … I mean, I knew people. I just … I don’t know. I just liked being on my own, that’s all.’
Bridget smiled. ‘Fair enough. So you were on your own, a little bit drunk, and you were having a drink … then what?’
‘I saw Stacy. She was with a group of people who I found out later were teachers from the school where she’d just started working … I suppose it must have been a teachers’ Friday night out or something — ’
‘Or an end-of-term celebration?’
‘Yeah … something like that. There were about a dozen of them — men and women, young and old — and they all seemed to be having a pretty good time. Stacy was at the bar with an older man when I first saw her. He was in his late twenties, early thirties, and I thought he was with her, you know …? The way he was standing really close to her, touching her arm, her shoulder, whispering in her ear … I thought they were a couple. But I still couldn’t take my eyes off Stacy.’
‘What did she look like?’
‘Stunning … I mean, just really, really beautiful. Not in a fancy, glamorous kind of way, she was just … I don’t know. There was just something about her. Her eyes, her face … everything. She was the most wonderful thing I’d ever seen.’
‘Describe her.’
‘What?’
‘I want to know what she looked like. You know, was she tall, short, blonde …?’
‘Blonde, yeah. Short blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin … she wasn’t tall.’ I looked at Bridget. ‘About your height …’
My voice trailed off and I lowered my eyes as I realised that my description of Stacy could easily have been a description of Bridget, and for some reason I found that oddly embarrassing.
‘So did you make a move?’ Bridget said, smiling. ‘Or did you spend all night just looking at her?’
‘Make a move?’
She laughed. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘Actually,’ I said, ‘if it wasn’t for Stacy, I probably would have spent all night just looking at her.’
‘So she made the first move?’
‘Yeah … I’d been watching her for about half an hour or so, when I suddenly realised that she was staring right back at me from the bar. So I immediately looked away, you know … I probably started fiddling with my cigarettes or a beer mat or something in a vain attempt to make out that I hadn’t been staring at her at all. But then the next thing I knew, I heard someone say, “Would you like to buy me a drink?” And when I looked up, there she was, standing right in front of me with an irresistible smile on her face.’
‘And what did you say?’
‘I said, “I’m sorry?”’
‘Very cool.’
‘I know. She didn’t seem to mind though, she just kind of cocked her head and looked at me and said it again, “Would you like to buy me a drink?” And this time I said, “Yeah, yeah, I’d love to buy you a drink.” And then I stood up and started going through my pockets, looking for some money, but all I had on me was a pound … one measly pound coin.’
Bridget laughed.
‘So then Stacy said to me, “Would you like to borrow some money?” And that was pretty much it.’
‘That was it?’
‘Well, it turned out that she wasn’t with the man at the bar after all, he was just a teacher at her school who’d been chasing after her ever since she’d first started working there … she didn’t even like him.’
‘But she liked you.’
‘Well, we spent the rest of that night together, and the whole of that weekend, and after that we were together just about all the time. It was … I don’t know. It was like I just didn’t want or need anything else any more … all I wanted was to be with Stace, all the time. That’s all that mattered.’
‘You loved her.’
‘Yeah … yeah, I did. I never even thought about going back to university, I just forgot all about it and moved in with Stace, and while she carried on teaching, I just took on any old jobs that were going, just to bring in some extra money. I worked on a building site, I was a postman, I worked in a call centre … I even had a job at the crematorium for a while.’
‘Very nice,’ Bridget said, raising her eyebrows.
‘Yeah, well … I didn’t care what I did. As long as I was with Stacy — ’
‘That’s all that mattered.’
I smiled. ‘Yeah.’
‘So then what?’ Bridget said. ‘You got married …?’
‘Yeah, then about eighteen months later we found out that Stacy was pregnant — ’
I stopped at the sound of the doorbell ringing. As Walter started barking upstairs, I looked at Bridget. ‘Are you expecting anyone?’
‘It could be Melanie,’ she said. ‘A friend of mine. She said she might come over.’ Bridget looked at me, and I felt her hand on my knee. ‘I can tell her to go if you want.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s all right … I’d better get back to work anyway.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yeah …’
‘Maybe we can talk some more later on tonight?’
‘Yeah, that’d be good.’
The doorbell sounded again.
Bridget smiled, getting to her feet. ‘I’d better let her in. See you later, OK?’
I nodded, watching as she went back into the house and started yelling at Walter to be quiet. I lit a cigarette and sat there in the misty haze, trying to work out how I felt. I was slightly confused with myself for feeling OK about talking to Bridget about Stacy, but I did feel OK about it, and I guessed that was all right. I was only talking to her, after all. It wasn’t as if I was betraying anything, was it? We were only talking …
‘Yeah, I know, Stace,’ I muttered. ‘That’s what they all say, isn’t it? We were only fucking talking …’
It’s all right, it’s fine. I like her.
‘John?’ I heard Bridget say.
I looked up and saw her standing at the back door.
‘There’s a man here to see you,’ she said. ‘He says his name’s Bishop.’
18
When I went inside the house, Bishop was standing outside my door, doing his best to ignore Walter, who was sitting at the foot of the stairs snarling quietly at him.
‘I hope you don’t mind, John,’ Bishop said to me, glancing at Bridget as she followed me along the hallway. ‘But I let myself in. It’s a bit cold out there.’
Walter barked at him.
He glared at Bridget. ‘Is that yours?’