Dance to Your Daddy

'Who isn't Romilly Lestrange?' demanded Rosamund, entering the room. 'Have you telephoned yet? Has Humphrey answered? Am I really going to live with him and Binnie? Oh, isn't it all exciting!'

'I am happy to have you think so,' said Dame Beatrice. 'Yes, I have telephoned, but Humphrey was out of the house. However, I think you may post your letter. Binnie will be delighted to have you. Tomorrow we will go to see her. She will have heard from you by then.'

'We hope!' muttered Laura, a confirmed critic of the post-office and its ways. 'Did anything strike you as a sort of confirmation of what you'd just been saying?' she asked, when Rosamund had gone out with her letter.

'Quite a number of things are beginning to confirm me in my opinions,' Dame Beatrice replied, 'but, in case I misinterpret your question, pray expound.'

'Well, it's obvious Rosamund hasn't a clue that Romilly is an imposter. That being so...'

'Exactly. But pray continue.'

'That being so, it seems to follow that you are right. Willoughby wouldn't have rumbled him either, so why did he have to be murdered? I mean, it seems that Willoughby couldn't have been a menace. He'd have taken this Romilly at his face value, the same as Rosamund has done.'

'Yes, I deduced as much, some little time ago.'

(2)

There was no doubt about the warmth of Binnie's welcome. Even Humphrey, enjoying his mid-week half-holiday, contrived to smile at Rosamund. Binnie, in characteristic fashion, came straight to both her points.

'Humphrey says Rosamund can stay, and what's all this about a school?'

'My dear girl, give Dame Beatrice a chance to sit down,' protested Humphrey. 'Yes,' he went on, when she had done this, 'Binnie seems to have got hold of some extraordinary idea that you've promised us a part-share in a boarding-school.'

'I find,' said Dame Beatrice mendaciously, 'that Binnie is distantly related to me through my last husband. She has inherited the blood of the Bradleys.'

Binnie squeaked excitedly. Humphrey scowled at her.

'Related to you?' he said. 'Well, I'm sure that is a great surprise to her, and-er-a pleasure, no doubt.'

'Therefore,' Dame Beatrice continued, 'I have decided, as I have many nearer relatives who will benefit under my Will, to give Binnie something from which I hope she will derive a certain amount of consolation for being left out of it. I know the owner and sleeping partner of a prosperous little preparatory school in Somerset. The headmaster is retiring at Easter. My friend would like to offer you the first refusal of the headmastership, together with a one-eighth share of the profits (which, of course, would be additional to your salary), and Binnie a three-eighths share of the profits, subject to two conditions. First, that you will take Rosamund into your care for as long as she is prepared to stay with you, and secondly that Binnie, who would also receive a salary, albeit a considerably smaller one than your own, shall act as matron, a position for which I feel she is admirably suited. While you are thinking the matter over, you may care to go down and look over the school. Could you go, perhaps, this week-end, taking Rosamund with you?'

'You'll come as well, won't you?' said Binnie, anxiously.

'I should like to do so. I can introduce you to the present headmaster, and so forth.'

'And your friend will retain only a half-interest in the school?' said Humphrey. 'Well, I confess, I hardly know what to say, except that I feel somewhat overwhelmed. A headship! I can scarcely believe it!'

'You've always wanted to be a headmaster,' said Binnie, 'and if I were a shareholder it would he nice for both of us, wouldn't it? And I'd love to be matron and look after the boys and bandage them up and see to the housekeeping and the bedding and the garden and the school fete and the refreshments on Sports Day and give the new boys' mums cups of tea and...'

'Yes, yes, my dear. We may take all that for granted. Well, Dame Beatrice, it's very kind of you. Yes, we could manage this week-end, but, really-well, as I say, I am completely overwhelmed. What's more, it seems I owe it all to Binnie.'

Binnie turned to him and impulsively hugged him. In a sedate manner he kissed the top of her head. She began to cry. He sat down and pulled her on to his knee. Dame Beatrice leered maternally at them.

'I shall breakfast at half-past six and leave at a quarter-past seven on Saturday morning,' she said to Laura, when she had returned from her visit.

'Anyway, what is all this about a school? Do you really think Humphrey will make a go of it?' Laura demanded.

'I have hopes-more, I have expectations-that he will. Besides, I have an affection for Binnie, and I think she will have an affection for the children under her care.'

'But, if Humphrey bullies the boys as much as he bullies her, I don't see much future for the school with him as headmaster.'

'I think you will find that nothing is further from Humphrey's thoughts. It is no longer in the interests of preparatory schools for the headmaster to bully the boys, or to permit them to bully one another. Humphrey bullies Binnie because he is a thwarted, frustrated man and therefore is easily irritated. Binnie is irritating because she has always had far too little to occupy her mind...'

'Such as it is!'

'Very well-such as it is-and not nearly enough money to gratify her not unreasonable requirements. She is quite a pretty woman, and it irks her that she cannot dress prettily. I think you will find that everything will work out quite well, the marriage included. Nothing fails like failure, and now Humphrey will prove that nothing succeeds like success.'

'It's your pigeon, not mine, thank goodness, but why concentrate on Humphrey and Binnie?'

'Because they can further my plans. Altruism, as such, is not a feature of my character.'

'Thank heaven for that! If there's anybody I hate and distrust, it's an indiscriminating do-gooder, and I never did seem to see you in such a fearsome role.'

'Thank you. As soon as Humphrey and Binnie have seen the school and (I hope) approved of it, I think we may place Rosamund in their charge. Then for the second hearing before the magistrates. After that, we can decide what to do for the best.'

'If the magistrates throw out the case, as you seem to think they will, it won't do for Romilly to find out where Rosamund is.'

'Part of the bargain between myself and Humphrey will deal with that question. Have no fear for Rosamund's safety. I shall have none.

'Unless she gets some notion about running away from the school, the same as she did from my people at Moy.'

'Ah, well, whom the gods intend to destroy, they first make mad. At any rate, she will be safer with Humphrey and Binnie, in a place of which Romilly has never heard, than with us here, or even with your parents in Scotland.'

'You're so certain that the magistrates are going to dismiss the case against Romilly, aren't you? And you are equally certain that Romilly and Willoughby have never met.'

'I am not certain of it, and, as I said before, I cannot be certain until Hubert and Romilly have met.'

'I should say it's a foregone conclusion they've met. Rosamund should know. If they met nowhere else, they met at old Felix Napoleon's funeral. Ask Rosamund about it again. Didn't she say that Hubert conducted the funeral service? Willoughby, as the old man's secretary, would certainly have been present, too.'

'Ah, but we cannot show that Romilly was at the funeral, you see.'

'Oh, come, now! If he hadn't been, would Rosamund have gone off with him afterwards to Galliard Hall? She must have been pretty certain of his bona fides if she was willing to do that, surely?'

'There is much in what you say. However, to a subject of more immediate importance. We went to Scotland at Detective-Inspector Kirkby's request, to bring Rosamund home. He prefers, it seems, to question her on English soil.'