“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Your son is wide-awake,” she said. “If you want to hear him screaming, then I will leave him in his bed. Elsewise, I must hold him.”
She had another reason for wanting to hold the baby. The more accustomed the Slayer was to seeing Simon in her arms, the more secure her future.
The warrior gave a shrug and put a hand beneath her elbow to help her up the dais steps. She could feel the latent power in his fingertips. An unexpected thrill chased up her spine.
“Good day, Sir Roger,” she greeted the knight with outward confidence. “It appears you are going hunting,” she added.
The knight’s eyes gleamed like silver platters. “I am, damsel,” he replied. “Do you like to hunt?”
“I enjoy the challenge as much as any man,” came her retort.
“Would you care to come with me today?”
She knew the offer was simply a gesture. “I’m afraid I have a baron to watch,” she replied. “I have vowed to take good care of him.”
The knight acknowledged her answer with a crooked smile. “Please sit,” he said, holding out a chair. Both men helped to push the heavy chair into place. The Slayer seated himself on her left side, boxing her into the space between them. She realized with a start that she was sitting in the lady’s chair.
What game were they up to? she wondered. Her heart beat erratically as she assessed the reaction of the pages carrying out the meal. The servants appeared outraged.
“Gentlemen,” she said, addressing her companions firmly. “You do the servants an injustice by seating me in the lady’s chair. Kindly seat me elsewhere.”
“We have questions to put to you,” the knight replied in the same steely tone. “And we would both do so at once.”
She hesitated a split second. “Suit yourselves,” she said, setting Simon in her lap. “If your servants are displeased, I warrant you they will find a way to let you know.” She turned her attention to the baby, who seemed content to gaze at the azure tablecloth.
Sir Roger and his lord shared looks.
“Let us eat,” the Slayer growled. He nodded at the waterbearer, and the boy approached them with the bowl to dip their fingers. Clarise noted that the basin trembled in Peter’s freckled hands. Here was another servant afraid of his master.
Pages swarmed into the hall, carrying with them an aroma of cooked meat and thyme. Thanks to Maeve’s efficiency, the food was still steaming. But Clarise’s appetite had dwindled. She regarded the trencher of venison, boiled in milk and whole wheat, and wondered how she would eat it.
As he had done yesterday, Sir Roger cut their trencher in half, giving her the choicest portion of the fare. The Slayer got a whole trencher to himself. She had scarcely taken a bite when he nudged her with his shoulder and said, “I visited the abbey yesterday.”
Knowing that already, she nodded and kept chewing. The warmth of his shoulder burned through the sleeve of her gown.
“There is an inscription over one of the doors,” he added casually. “It bears your name—Crucis.”
Her heart forgot to beat. Could a simple word give her away? “In truth?” she murmured, trying to sound bored.
On her right side Sir Roger called her name. “Dame Crucis, what was that song the minstrel sang to you yesterday?”
The men weren’t wasting any time. “ ’Twas ‘The Fiery-Haired Lady,’ ” she replied. “Have you never heard it?”
“Perhaps I have. The words sounded different this time.”
She had nothing to say to that observation.
“Did you know the minstrel?” he persisted.
“I cannot say that I did.”
“You cannot say? Or you did not know him? Please be clearer in your answer, madam.”
She was already weary of this questioning and it had scarcely begun. She laid down her spoon abruptly. “Yes, let us be perfectly frank with one another. The minstrel knew me, it seems, but I never knew the minstrel before my arrival at Helmesly, and I will never see him again, thanks to your lord’s enthusiasm with a blade.” She sensed, rather than saw, the Slayer stiffen beside her. “My encounter with the man was merely circumstantial. The mockery that he made of me with his song deserved a good tongue-lashing, and that is what I gave him.”
Her forthright answer left both men temporarily mute. Sir Roger was the first to recover. “What was it about his song, Dame Crucis, that so displeased you?”
Clarise gathered herself to speak the necessary lies. “ ’Twas a reference to my past, Sir Knight. The minstrel knew me as Clare de Bouvais. I was Richard Monteign’s mistress.”
The silence that followed her pronouncement brought color streaking to her cheeks. She was certain every ear in the great hall had overheard her. Pages froze with interest. The men-at-arms quit guzzling their beer to peer over the tops of their mugs. She could only imagine the expressions on her companions’ faces, as she couldn’t bring herself to look at them.
Sir Roger cleared his throat. “Lady Clare de Bouvais?” he asked, clearly recognizing the prestigious surname.
Clarise was pleased to hear his chagrin. “Aye, Sir Knight. I am Alec’s second cousin—the daughter of a third son who was cousin to Lord Monteign.”
“But how did you . . . ?”
“Become his mistress?” she finished when he floundered for the words. She wondered how many paternosters she would have to say to be forgiven her lies. “I came to my uncle’s keep when I was only eight. After my aunt died, I was the only female remaining the household. I regret to say that Monteign turned his sights on me.”
Following these daring words, Clarise held her breath. She hoped her story would be believed, for much of it was based on fact. The cousin of Alec’s who had lived with the family for years had left in disgrace and with child, only it was the stable master who had compromised her, not Monteign.
To her left, the Slayer hissed a stream of deprecations under his breath. She had clearly provoked an emotion in him so strong as to be nearly palpable.
Sir Roger persisted with his questions. “Why didn’t you tell us this earlier?” he demanded. “Why accept the lot of a commoner when your blood entitles you to more?” He sounded offended on her behalf.
Clarise was prepared for that query. “When I told you that I hailed from Glenmyre, Sir Roger, I saw suspicion in your eyes. You thought I’d come to avenge Monteign’s death. I assure you that my uncle meant very little to me.”
The Slayer spoke forcefully on her left. “You spoke highly of him the other night,” he accused. The thunder in his tone gave Simon a start. The baby’s face crumpled, and he began to wail.
“Kindly lower your voice, my lord,” Clarise scolded. She placed the baby against her shoulder and patted his back. “Monteign was good to his people—in that I did not lie. But I hold no allegiance to a man who compromised my virtue.”
Her words reduced the men to silence. The noises in the hall seemed unnaturally loud as she waited for their reaction. The Slayer took a swig of his wine. Sir Roger toyed with his knife. “Why did you call yourself Clare Crucis?” the knight finally asked.
“ ’Tis obvious. Six months ago I went to the abbey for protection, along with my cousin Alec. I stayed until the illness . . .” she stuttered over the next few words, finding them the hardest to say, “until my infant took ill and died. I took my name from the inscription at the abbey, rather than use my given name.”
“Yet why make up a name?” the knight demanded. “Why not return to your family to help you?”
“My family has cast me out,” she said shortly. “I am no longer marriageable. They have no use for me.”
“Because you bore a child,” he persisted.
“Exactly.” She did not wish to linger on that part of her tale.