Afterwards he slept fitfully until dawn. When they had finished breakfast he helped Edvin harness the horse. Alma called him into the kitchen and laid out the soiled ABC book that she had borrowed from Master Kron, who would soon be Daniel’s teacher. Daniel looked at the pictures and tried to learn the alphabet. Usually he thought it was fun, but the anxiety from the dream made it hard for him to concentrate. When Alma left him alone for a moment, he closed the book, wrapped a scarf around his neck and went outside. The cold wind almost took his breath away, but he ran towards the hill that was always waiting for him. When he got there he found Sanna sitting and digging in the dirt. It made him happy. He thought that he would tell her about his dream. Maybe she could explain it to him. When she saw him coming she stood up and waved. She looked at his cheek.
‘I didn’t mean it,’ she said. ‘I never do.’
‘It didn’t hurt.’
‘I prayed to God last night. I asked Him to forgive me. I think He listened to me.’
Daniel told her about his dream. He grew annoyed when he couldn’t find the right words, but Sanna listened. She listened to him in a way that Father had never done.
‘I don’t understand any of it,’ she said. ‘I don’t even know what a desert is. So much sand?’ She pointed out towards the brown fields. ‘Would all this be sand? And hot?’
‘You would burn your feet.’
She rested her head in her hands and thought. ‘So it would be like burying two horses here in the mud,’ she said. ‘And they would be whinnying like the butcher was standing in front of them.’
She threw a dirt clod at Daniel. It didn’t hurt and she laughed.
‘You’re making it up. There aren’t any dreams like that.’
‘I dreamed it just like I told you.’
‘You’re just as strange as I am. But at least I don’t tell lies.’
Then everything happened very fast. Daniel saw Sanna react to something and get up. There was something behind him, but he didn’t have time to turn round before a big hand grabbed hold of his coat and jerked him to his feet. The man standing there was big and rough and there was tobacco juice running out of the corner of his mouth. He let go of Daniel and gave him a box on the ear so he fell over. Sanna tried to run away but he grabbed hold of her arm. He slapped her hard in the face several times. She screamed.
‘Didn’t I tell you to stay home at the farm? Now I find you with that damn troll that Edvin brought here.’
He released Sanna, who huddled in the dirt with her hands over her head as if afraid she would be hit again. The man gave Daniel a withering stare.
‘She’s retarded,’ said the man. ‘She doesn’t know what she’s saying or what she’s doing. It’s a pure pity! That’s what it is! No parents, nothing. But we let her live with us. A pity! But the little bitch won’t do as she’s told. So she has to get slapped. That usually works. At least for a while.’
The man dragged Sanna up from the dirt and pulled her along with him down the hillside. He had a strong grip on her hair. Daniel thought she looked like a chicken on its way to have its head cut off.
Then he noticed that he had started to cry. It was as if Sanna’s pain were inside him too.
He looked all around. The fields were deserted.
Except for the shrieking black birds.
Chapter 22
The next day was Sunday. Daniel woke up early as usual. On Sundays the milkmaids took turns sleeping in. Even the hired hand could stay in bed an hour longer than normal. Daniel got up and quietly dressed. The floor was cold under his feet. The hired hand lay watching him with one eye open. He motioned to Daniel to come over to the bed. Daniel didn’t like him, but he didn’t dare disobey.
‘Pull the covers off her,’ whispered the hired hand. ‘If we’re lucky, her nightgown will be hitched up.’
This scene repeated itself every Sunday morning, no matter which of the girls was sleeping in. Daniel had never understood why the hired hand enjoyed spending his free time looking at the girls’ naked legs. But he did as he was told. She stirred a little but didn’t wake up. The nightgown had slipped all the way up to her waist. The hired hand would be pleased. Daniel hurried out of the kitchen.
It was raining. The fog lay thick over the brown fields. The black birds sat motionless in the grove of trees. Alma stood at the well hoisting up water. Edvin stood next to her, staring straight out into the fog. From far off they could hear a cow bellowing. Daniel had his shoes in his hand. He hurried to the barn where the milkmaid was milking. When he entered the warm building, one of the cats rubbed itself on his leg. He lay down in the straw and covered his body so only his face was visible. During the night he had dreamed that Sanna was calling his name. He had searched for her. Suddenly he was on the ship, rolling heavily in a storm. Sanna was sitting at the top of one of the masts, waving at him. But when he tried to climb up there, someone grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and held him back. He tried to turn his head to see who it was but there was nobody there. Nothing but the wind holding his neck in an invisible grip.
Daniel lay in the straw and thought about his dream. It was easy to understand what his night-time messenger had wanted to say. Daniel wanted to be close to Sanna but it wasn’t possible. Something was always coming between them.
He curled up in the straw to keep warm. The horse stamped in its stall.
As it was Sunday, everyone in the house would soon be going to church. The hired hand would slick his hair down with water, the milkmaids would wrap their best shawls round their shoulders and then they would all set off, with Edvin and Alma in the lead. On the way they would meet others heading in the same direction, and they would all look at Daniel and he would see at once which ones were curious, which ones didn’t like him, and which ones were jealous because Edvin got paid to have Daniel living in his house.
Hallén was going to preach. He would say a lot of words that made Daniel sleepy because he couldn’t understand them. But Alma would make sure that he didn’t fall asleep and would keep an eye on the hired hand and the milkmaids as well. They would sing, and Daniel would look up at the man who hung nailed on the boards in front of them.
He had already visited the pastor on two mornings. Daniel was still waiting to hear about the water. Hallén had asked the same question each time he had come. What was he thinking about? And Daniel had refused to answer. He didn’t want to talk about his plan. He was afraid that Hallén might tell Edvin, or forbid him. Daniel was still having a hard time learning what was forbidden. It was a word that he understood was one of the most important for people like Hallén, Edvin and Alma. The others were: damn and may I. Everything that happened between dawn and twilight was controlled by what people were allowed to do and what was forbidden. Going barefoot when the ground was white was one of the things that was most forbidden. Nor could you piss anywhere and especially not if someone was watching. There were rules about everything, and Daniel tried to learn them but without understanding why.
Sanna would also be at church. She sat right at the back, and Daniel knew that Alma would give him a disapproving look if he turned round to look at her. At church you had to look down or forward. Looking back was one of the things that was forbidden.