Suddenly he was certain.
Sanna could show him where the sea was.
Chapter 23
A fierce storm was passing over the plain of Skåne. It was the night after Daniel had put the viper in the collection pouch. He woke up when Edvin shook the hired hand and said that the straw roof was starting to blow off the barn and that the animals were frightened. Soon afterwards Alma came in and woke the milkmaids. They had to help with the animals so none would be injured. When Alma leaned over Daniel with a candle in her hand he pretended to be asleep.
‘I don’t know why,’ she said. ‘But you’re not fooling me. I can see you’re awake.’
Daniel opened his eyes.
‘Are you afraid of the storm?’
Daniel shook his head.
‘I would dearly like to help you. But how can I help someone that nobody understands?’
The wind tore at the walls of the house. Daniel felt the draught coming through the ill-fitting windows.
‘The sky is restless,’ Alma said.
Daniel sat up in bed.
‘You don’t need to help. You’re too little.’
Daniel stayed sitting on the edge of the bed and watched as Alma busied herself at the stove. He squinted his eyes so hard that his vision grew blurry. It might have been Be moving about in front of him. He whispered her name to himself but the roaring wind was too loud. He couldn’t hear whether she answered or not.
The next day the storm was still raging. It came in squalls. Ragged clouds raced across the sky. Edvin and the hired hand struggled to keep the straw on the roof of the barn. Daniel wasn’t allowed to go into the barn because the animals were skittish. He didn’t have to go to church either. Hallén could wait until the storm had passed. One of the trees blew down in the grove where the black birds perched. The birds screeched. Daniel stood and watched them. Sometimes it looked as if they were writing letters against the sky. He tried to decipher them but could not.
Edvin climbed down from the roof to piss. When he had buttoned his flies he went over to Daniel.
‘Alma says you aren’t afraid of the storm, is that right?’
‘I’m not afraid.’
Edvin touched the cheek where he had slapped him.
‘I won’t hit you again,’ he said. ‘That will never happen again. Even if Hallén tells me to.’
Then he clambered back up the ladder. Daniel watched him go and decided that Edvin meant what he said. If he raised his hand again the blow would never leave his arm.
Daniel ran towards the hill. He held out his arms so that his coat was like a sail behind him. Many times Kiko had told him that a human being could not fly but Daniel had never thought that he sounded quite sure of what he was saying. He kicked off his shoes and tried to take off, but his feet kept striking the ground.
When he reached the hill he was disappointed. Sanna wasn’t there. He looked towards the house where she lived, but the path was empty. He wondered whether the man who had pulled her by the hair had tied her up, the same way Father had done with him. He decided that he would try to find her if she didn’t show up the next day.
He ran back and sat down with his ABC book in the kitchen. Alma was out with the milkmaids in the barn. He read the letters aloud to himself. Neither Kiko nor Be had known how to read. They would often draw with sticks in the sand. Not words, but signs, faces, paths. Daniel put down the book and knelt on the wooden bench by the window. The windowpane was steamed up. With his finger he tried to draw Be’s face, but it didn’t look like her. He puffed new fog onto the window and tried Kiko’s instead, but that didn’t turn out any better.
Then he tried to draw the antelope. He imagined that his finger was the stick that Kiko used had. But the fog-covered glass windowpane was no rock face. He grew angry and had to hold himself back from smashing his fist through the glass.
By the next day the storm had abated. The straw lay still on the roof of the barn. Just after seven in the morning Daniel went to the church. The door to the sacristy was closed. He knocked and Hallén answered. Daniel opened the door, entered and bowed. Hallén was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. He nodded to Daniel to come forward.
‘First you killed a piglet with a shoe,’ Hallén said. ‘I heard all about it. And now you put a snake in the offering pouch. All this tells me that you are still a savage. It will take time for you to learn what it means to be a human being. I will show patience, but patience has its limits. If you obey me, good will come to you. If you do not obey, you will be punished. Do you understand what I’m saying?’
Daniel nodded.
‘I want to hear you say it.’
‘I understand.’
‘What is it you understand?’
‘Wear shoes on the feet when there is frost, do not kill pig, and do not put snakes in the offering pooch.’
‘The words are “pigs” and “offering pouch”.’
‘The words are “pigs” and “offering pooch”.’
‘Offering pouch.’
‘Offering pouch.’
Hallén got up from his chair. ‘Let’s go and look at Jesus.’
They stood before the altar rail again. The sunlight shining through a window glittered in one of the eyes of the nailed-up man. Daniel gave a start. The same glint had been there in the antelope’s eye.
‘Jesus sacrificed his life for you,’ said Hallén. ‘No one can become a true human being without believing in him. But one must also know how to behave oneself.’
‘That must hurt,’ said Daniel.
Hallén gave him a questioning look. ‘Hurt?’
‘To be nailed to a board.’
‘Of course it hurts. His suffering was appalling.’
Daniel thought that now he could ask his question again.
‘I want to learn walking on water.’
‘Nobody can walk on water. Jesus was God’s son. He could do it. But no one else can.’
Daniel knew that the man standing at his side was wrong, but he didn’t dare talk back. The slap from Edvin still burned on his cheek.
‘This is where you will stand next Sunday,’ said Hallén. ‘In front of the whole congregation. You will beg us all for forgiveness because you violated the holy church by putting a viper in the offering pouch. Do you understand what I’m saying?’
Daniel realised with dread what Hallén meant.
‘Will I be nailed up on boards too?’
Hallén grabbed the collar of Daniel’s coat and raised his hand, but he did not strike.
‘You have the gall to compare yourself to our Saviour? You have the gall to compare yourself to the One who suffered for all our sins?’
Hallén let him go and stepped aside, as if he couldn’t stand to be too close to Daniel.
‘You are still a savage. I keep forgetting that. The path you must walk is long. We shall walk it together. You may go now. But I want you to come back tomorrow.’
Daniel stood motionless until Hallén had vanished behind the tall altarpiece. Then he rushed out of the church. He ran all the way home, and he was soaked with sweat when he reached the hill behind the house. He knew that there were five days left until it was Sunday again. Then he would be nailed up on boards. Before then he had to find out where the sea was. He had to set off, and even if he still couldn’t walk on water he had to stay hidden until he had learned how to do it. He called out for Kiko and Be. He yelled as loud as he could, but no reply came except for the unsettled sounds of the black birds.
He fell to the ground and curled up with his head between his knees. The long run had made him tired. It was cold, and he felt exhausted.
When he woke up, Sanna was standing beside him.