«Be careful with your words,» said Truth, «for they are dangerous things.»
I thought before I spoke the next time. «I want him to have choices. I don't want all his free will sucked away like this.»
«Why?» Wicked asked. «Why is bespelling him so terrible to you?»
I looked into Requiem's face where he sat beside me. He gave me a look of absolute adoration. My stomach clenched tight. The thought of anyone being bound to anyone else like that was wrong; that I'd done it by accident made me vaguely nauseous.
«I like Requiem. He's a good guy, especially for a vampire. I don't want him like this, some sort of slave, it's just creepy.»
«Is he better off dead?» Wicked asked.
«No,» I said, quickly, «no.»
«Then what would you have us do?» Truth asked.
Requiem said, «Do I not please you?»
I grabbed his good shoulder and said, «I know you're in there, Requiem. Come back to us. Hear me, Requiem, hear my voice, and break free of this.»
«I don't wish to be free,» he said, simply.
I pulled away from him, and he tried to hold on. I actually slapped his hands away from me. He looked so hurt.
«Please, Anita, how have I displeased you so? I will do anything. Anything that you ask, if you will only feed the ardeur from me.»
«Anything,» I said.
«Anything, you have but to speak it, and I will do it.»
«Break free of this,» I said.
«I do not understand,» he said, and he looked as puzzled as his words.
«That's what I want, Requiem. I want you to break free of what I've done to you.» The moment I said it, I knew it was true, that was what I wanted. «You're a master vampire. You could be a Master of the City, if you were a little more ambitious. You can fight this.» I searched his face, to see if he understood what I was saying. «Come back to yourself, or I won't feed the ardeur on you.»
«Anita, I… I don't…»
«You said you'd do anything I asked. This is an anything, and it's what I want you to do.»
«You may be asking something he cannot do,» Wicked said.
«I've felt his own version of the ardeur. Or whatever you call the other gifts of Belle's line that aren't exactly ardeur. He is powerful.» I looked into his face and tried to show him how much I knew he could do this. «I want to see Requiem staring at me out of these eyes, not some besotted fool. Be the strong man I know you can be. Fight free of this, enough to talk to me. I won't touch you, ever again, unless you can give consent.» He looked so stricken, so wounded, that I went up on my knees and cradled his face between my hands. «You told me once that you considered your power rape, because it affected only the body and not the mind. Do you remember saying that, Requiem?»
He frowned, but finally whispered, «Yes.»
«If I take you like this, it's rape, and I won't do it.»
I watched the emotions struggle across his face. «Anita… I do not know how to break these soft chains. Once love was strong enough to break them, but without love, let me be covered in your silken chains. Tie me down, and let me drown in your sweet flesh.» He moved in for a kiss as he said the last, and I had to pull back. I slid off the bed, away from him. I wanted to run screaming with frustration. I had not meant to do this. Fuck.
«If another master had bespelled Requiem, what would you do, ma petite?» Jean-Claude said.
I thought about it, frowning. «I would try to break the spell. I would use my necromancy and try to break the spell.»
«Exactement.»
«But, I did it. I can't break my own spell, can I?»
«Why can you not?»
I thought about it again. «Because… well.»
«It is not your necromancy that has bespelled him, ma petite, but your power through the vampire marks, through me. Use your necromancy to free him, as you used your ties to the wolf to free you from Marmee Noir.»
It made sense, but… «I don't know.»
He spoke softly in my head. «You broke Willie McCoy free of the Traveller when he had possessed Willie's body. You used your necromancy to drive him out.»
Willie was one of our least powerful vampires. He was manager at the Laughing Corpse, our comedy club. The Traveller was one of the vampire council. He had come to town in «person,» except that he traveled by jumping from body to body. He could use any vampire body that wasn't strong enough to keep him out. He had possessed Willie, and tried to use him to hurt me. I had used my blood and my tie to Willie to find him in the dark where the Traveller had hidden him. Find him and bring him back to himself.
I thought carefully, because I was still not that good at the mind-to-mind thing, «I'd accidentally raised Willie from his coffin during the day once. I already had a tie to him that I don't have to Requiem.»
He whispered through my mind, «Through the ardeur you have a bond to him that you did not have with Willie.»
«How can I use necromancy to break him free of the ardeur, if I'm counting on the ardeur to be his bond to me. That doesn't make any sense.»
«Perhaps the logic is a bit circular, but what do you have to lose, ma petite?» He spoke aloud, finally. «Look at him.»
I pressed as much of me against as much of Jean-Claude as I could, then turned and looked at Requiem. He watched us like a man who was dying of thirst, and was only inches away from a cool, soothing pool, but there was a glass wall between him and it. I finally realized something. «It's not just the ardeur he's craving. It's the blood. He's hurt and he needs blood.»
Jean-Claude ran his hands up and down my back in soothing motions. «Oui, but the ardeur overrides the other thirst.»
«I thought that wasn't possible,» I said.
«I have seen it with Belle. I have seen her give ardeur to vampires while they neglected their blood hunger, to the point where, one night, they did not rise from their coffins.»
«She did it on purpose,» I said.
«She wished to see if the ardeur alone was enough to sustain other vampires. She had hoped to travel with us across Europe, but the marks of blood taking give us away. The ardeur leaves no trace.»
I stared at Requiem. «Nothing physical.»
«Oui, there are signs, but nothing the authorities would have recognized. Nothing that would have given away her plan.»
«But it didn't work,» I said.
«She could share her ardeur with others, so they could feed upon it. She could sustain herself with it for long periods, as can I, but unless the ardeur is truly your gift to own, then it does not work.»
«The Traveller…«He stopped me with a hand on my mouth.
He spoke in my head, again, «Quietly, ma petite.»
I thought, «You said, no mind-to-mind, that some of the other vamp masters might overhear us.»
«They are still dead to the world, but the people in this room can hear us.»
«You don't trust them?»
«I would not like to have it well known that you were able to force a member of the council to do anything.»
He had a point. I thought, slowly, carefully, «The Traveller was taking blood from me when I called Willie. I called him with the blood.»
«Then feed our Requiem.»
I wasn't sure that was a good idea. «He's fed from me once; what if drinking my blood is part of the problem? Asher thinks that any vampire who feeds from me is drawn to me.»
«You are very tasty, ma petite.»
«It's not just that. It's something more.»
«We want our vampires bound to us, ma petite, that is why we blood-oath them. We simply do not wish them bound to this level of slavishness.»
I was close enough in his head to feel that he believed that. He did not like to see Requiem this bespelled. «You're almost as creeped out by this as I am, why? This strengthens our power base, right?»
«Perhaps, but I did not invite Requiem, or anyone, into my lands so I could enslave them. I wanted to give them shelter, not chains.»
«Auggie said you were too sentimental for your own good sometimes.»
Out loud he said, «Perhaps, but you have taught me that sentiment is not always a bad thing.»
I stared up at that impossibly beautiful face, and felt love swell up inside me like a physical force. It filled my body, swelling upward until it made my chest ache, my throat tighten, and my eyes burn. It sounded so stupid. But I loved him. Loved all of him, but loved him more because loving me had made him better. That he would say that I had taught him about being sentimental made me want to cry. Richard reminded me at every turn that I was bloodthirsty and cold. If that were true, then I couldn't have taught Jean-Claude about sentimentality. You can't learn, if you don't have it to teach.