I didn't know what to think. Was this man who loved me as if I was his own son leaving me to a fate too horrible to contemplate? It was only after the wedding when cold reason took over that I saw clearly that there was nothing he could do to stop this marriage which was to be ill-starred right from the beginning. As he explained to me many weeks later, we each of us must be responsible for our own actions, and it is not excusable to claim that we were drunk at the time. I now realize that it was my undoing, drunk or sober, to take what was offered to me.
Before the wedding I was taken to meet the minister who was to perform the ceremony. To my surprise he berated me, giving me no opportunity to defend myself; calling me a fornicating sinner was one of the milder accusations he threw at me. Working himself up into a fury, he informed me that I was an immoral, unprincipled, depraved, degenerate sinner whom God would never forgive. He demanded that, for the sake of the well-being of my soul in the future, I get down on my knees there and then to pray with him for my escape from the fate of Hell's flames when I died.
Deeply disturbed by the force and power of his oratory, I approached my uncle to seek his more enlightened views on my so-called heinous sins. When he heard what the minister had said to me he laughed himself into such a fit of coughing that I began to fear for his health and reason. It took him nearly half an hour to recover his breath and get some colour into his face which had gone deadly pale after his bout of coughing.
'You look like a whipped cur,' he commented when he got himself composed. 'I'm disappointed in you, Elmer. After all the teaching and philosophical talk I have given you over the years that you should let a ranting minister of religion disturb you and fill you with concern for the destiny of your own soul.'
Seeing the misery in my face, he changed his tune. 'Alright, I'll give it to you straight. God gave you a cock so that you could fuck, in the same way as he gave you a mouth so you can eat your food. Everything has a place and a function in this life of ours.'
He stood pondering on what he was going to say next then, speaking very slowly, 'Running through all living matter is a life-force which has to be used for everything we do. Don't make the mistake of calling it pure or impure because it's neither; it dissipates its power in a great diversity of forms and in none is it entirely good or bad, for there are no absolutes in this world of ours. It is up to each and every one of us as to how much of this life-force we use for whatever we have got in mind and, believe me, we have very little control over what goes on in our mind. The mind is just as mysterious as the rest of the universe and that goes for your ministers of religion as well as everyone else. God only knows what goes on in their minds when they are not telling the rest of us what we must and must not do. I'll bet they have just as many shameful thoughts as you and me.'
He turned toward the house. 'When you get into your head, Elmer, that you are no better or worse than most everyone you will have just about got it right. Look on the bright side; everything is changing all the time; bad times don't last for ever, nor do good times. Every day there is something to laugh about-if you look for it-and every day brings a new challenge. If you face up to each challenge you will become stronger in mind and body. Don't let life get you down, remain undefeated by its trials and tribulations; laugh in adversity, for life is only testing the strength of your will and character.'
Marriage to Maude wasn't as bad as I feared. She was as strong as a horse and a willing worker in the house and on the land. Being a farmer's daughter, she knew what was needed and got on with it without complaint. She hardly ever spoke to anyone. It was the same when we got to bed. With her knees wide open she would wait in silence for me to enter her. She would make no movement as I panted and pushed on top of her. Impassive and patient she would wait for me to finish then turn on her side and go off to sleep.
I longed for her to show some interest in what we were doing and consulted with an older and more experienced man as to what I could do to rouse her. He told me to try caressing her private parts before mounting her. I tried it dozens of times but it had no effect on her. She was devoid of any sensitivity and sensual feelings.
I know all women are not like her because once when I was away from home the opportunity came for me to try my caresses on a girl. Although she got all hot and worked up, she wouldn't let me put it in because she was determined to remain a virgin until she got married but, from the way she sighed and went all slack in the legs, I knew my fingering had made her come. To make up for not letting me have it, she milked me with her hands like you do with a cow, pulling away at my cock until the spunk shot out of it. It's alright that way, but it is better when you can get it between a woman's legs.
To get back to Dara. Her ardent, passionate wiggling under me took me by surprise. I had often day-dreamed of meeting a girl like this, but was totally unprepared for it when it happened. A new experience, however pleasant and flattering, takes a little time to assimilate, but my cock soon became stiff and hard at the view of her private parts as I lifted her ankles and placed them on my shoulders. Leaning over her brought the cool, soft cheeks of her bottom up against my thighs. The burning lust came back into my body and I thrust my cock deep into the warm, moist cunt with powerful strokes. There were sweet overtones of joy and satisfaction in her sighs as she submitted willingly to my masterful possession of her limbs. Balancing myself on stiffened arms, she took my whole weight on her buttocks when I came hard down on her with an excited aggressive cock that savaged and ravished her tender parts. It was like an explosion when the spunk, bursting to be released, spurted with force from my cock. I cried out in the gripping intensity of my feelings as my hips rocked to and fro on the backs of her thighs.
When my emotions subsided and she was once more flat on her back with her legs between mine, I felt empty and lonely and yet exulted because I had risen to heights of passion that I had never thought possible. The back-lash of my storming emotions hit me and I shuddered repeatedly. Dara, cuddling my head in her arms as if I was a baby, showered my face with warm gentle kisses, bringing me to a sleepy stillness as I lay across her listening without thought to the murmur of her loving words.
During the days that followed I was to learn a great deal about Dara. She could be self-assured and assertive and, at other times, meditative and withdrawn. In our loving embraces she would be either exciting and stimulating or dewy-eyed and submissive, encouraging me to ravish her with all my masculine strength. There was never a dull moment in her companionship as I fell in with her varying moods of teasing vivacity and dreamy meditation. In those quiet moments she was ready to discuss any subject providing I took it seriously.
Money was of no importance to her and she spent it freely. I had none to spare and had been living most frugally as I had promised myself and my father that I would save enough to stock our farm with all the beef cattle we needed. This was the sole purpose of my coming to Chicago and taking up the work of a travelling salesman. The harder I worked the more commission I earned. The more commission that came my way, the more cattle we bought. During the last three years sufficient money had gone into the farm to turn the tide and bring new hope of prosperity for my family in the near future. I estimated that within two years I would be able to return home and work the land myself.
Once a month the opportunity came to visit my family and my two children, Daniel and Mary, when I would hand over to my father the money saved since my last visit.