When they reached their room and entered it, Darcy set her down on the bench at the table, still silently angry with her for her stubbornness. Elizabeth noticed that he had put the sheet up across her bed. He must have done that when he brought her things back to the room earlier.
“Elizabeth, in the morning, I shall rise first, get myself ready, and then leave. That will give you the opportunity to come out from behind the sheet, and do what you need to do in privacy. As long as you are still unwell, I expect you to get as much sleep as you can. When you are feeling improved, then you can join me up on deck for our morning walk. Only when you are completely well, only then, will I allow you to go back down to steerage to help out those who are ill. Not one moment sooner!”
Her eyes widened as she listened to his orders, spoken in a severely authoritative tone, of how things would be! How things must be! Her mouth opened to respond with a vehemence of words unleashed, but was halted by her lack of strength and his continued commands.
“You must now get yourself ready for bed, so I shall leave you to it. You have had an exerting afternoon. I shall return later and expect to find you asleep.”
“Yes, Captain!” Elizabeth gave him a mock salute.
Darcy looked at her, his eyes darkening. “Elizabeth, this is for your own good.”
He stood silently watching her, very aware that if she had the strength she would have had much more to say to him on the subject. Instead she simply replied, “Yes, Mr. Darcy, I am sure it is.”
She lifted her eyes to watch him walk out the door as it slammed behind him. He did not enjoy being so forceful with her, but he needed to set up boundaries for her sake as well as his own. The sheet was a safeguard against what could be the greatest temptation he had ever faced. The sheet itself would not be enough to hold him back, but it would be a reminder to him of his resolution and his assurances to Elizabeth.
He was impatient to get out on deck, to breathe in the fresh night air after having been down in steerage. He wondered how anyone could endure that for a month. He came up and filled his lungs to capacity with the cool air and let it out slowly.
He was also anxious to get outside, where he could better clear his thoughts about the woman in his cabin. Two years ago he had looked back at the carriage conveying her away, annoyed at himself for not thinking to ask her name, while at the same time berating himself for becoming so captivated by a woman so decidedly beneath him. It had not been easy to remove her from his thoughts. Several months following that carriage ride he still found himself thinking of her.
Whenever he made a trip to Town, he looked for her, hoping he might encounter her there. He held her up as a standard to every woman he met, and found that they all lacked something he had found so appealing in her. But the memory of her gradually faded… he had almost completely forgotten about her… until meeting her on his ship!
He walked over to the ship’s railing and rested his elbows upon it, clasping his hands together. He looked out at the vast sea of blue surrounding him and took in a deep breath. Elizabeth was truly a remarkable and attractive woman in all aspects of her person, and he was honestly concerned for her health. He just had to remember that this marriage was solely to get her out of steerage to allow her a better chance to improve her well-being. He could never seriously consider a real marriage to a woman who was not at least of equal birth and connections as himself, to a woman whose family was not in the first circles of society and had little or no fortune.
He shook his head. Apart from that, however, she was the type of woman who stimulated him, who entertained and challenged him at the same time. She brought out something in him that very few other women did. She had a vivacious personality, something that he lacked, being more often than not quiet and reserved. She had an engaging nature that actually drew him out of his fastidious shell without her even making a decided effort to do so. This was very unlike so many other women who, in making the same exerted effort, actually drove him deeper inside himself and further away.
But then she can certainly be obstinate! It was very apparent to him that she disliked the fact that he was taking charge. Perhaps we have gotten off to a bad start; no doubt due to her feeling unwell and the awkwardness of the situation. Things will improve. I certainly hope they do.
***
Back in the room, Elizabeth looked at the duffel containing all her things. She would have preferred to put everything away before retiring, but she was fatigued from the exertion of the evening. She felt completely unable to attempt anything of that sort now, and although she had enjoyed a good rest earlier, she felt sleep strongly beckoning her again.
She quickly put on her nightdress, modestly covering it with her robe, ever conscious that Darcy could walk in through the door at any moment. Although he said he would return later, she was fully aware that this was his room and he had every right to return to it whenever he desired.
She let down her hair, grateful for the weight of it now set free, and brushed through it a few times. Just the exertion of the few strokes of the brush tired her even more, and she resigned herself to the fact that all she cared to do right now was crawl into the bed and lose herself to a night of deep slumber.
She pulled aside the sheet that Darcy had hung and climbed into her bed, taking off her robe once the sheet fell back down into place. She eagerly crawled under the blankets. This time, as she lay her head down, she did not succumb to sleep right away, as she had done before. She was able to truly appreciate the comfort of a real bed, its soft mattress beneath her. She breathed in the fresh air, very unlike that which had been in steerage. As she looked over at the sheet that would act as a barrier between her and the man who was now her husband, she actually felt a sense of gratefulness for the thought he had put into this. That was the last thought that passed through her mind as sleep stole upon her.
Darcy later returned, quietly moving about the room readying himself for sleep.
He crawled into his bed and lay down, his eyes wide open at the knowledge that Elizabeth was asleep in the other bed. He lay awake, listening to the sound of her deep, steady breathing, savouring a very faint scent of lavender that must have been the lingering essence of perfumed toilet water. Even though the room was bathed in complete darkness once he extinguished the oil lamp, he found himself glancing over to where she slept. He did not have to see her with his eyes, for he had a very detailed image of her in his mind that would not go away.
Elizabeth slept soundly, barely moving a muscle as her body tried to make up for her lack of sleep and discomfort the past week on the ship. For the first time since coming onboard his ship, Fitzwilliam Darcy slept very poorly.
Chapter 9
Instead of improving in the comfort of Darcy’s cabin, Elizabeth seemed to grow steadily worse those first few days. She was barely able to get herself out of bed, her fever climbing dangerously high. To aid in her recovery, Darcy secured whatever remedies he could acquire from the ship’s cook, who was the only expert onboard pertaining to these illnesses.
He also enlisted the help of Mrs. Jennings to give assistance to Elizabeth where he believed it would be more prudent for a woman to aid her. She came to the room several times a day, helping Elizabeth out of bed, taking her to the necessary room, encouraging her to eat and drink, and securing her back into bed. Darcy needed only to remember to remove the sheet first thing in the morning so she would not have any questioning suspicions as to the nature of their marital arrangement.