He made no move to take her in his arms. “Talk to me, Vivvie.”
Beneath the covers, Vivian reached across the cool expanse of the mattress and took his hand in hers. “I am the daughter of an earl. You are the son of an earl. A match between us would be seen as appropriate, if precipitous, given William’s recent death. I am a widow with a child to rear. You’re a spare. Nobody would raise an eyebrow at your becoming Will’s guardian, particularly not when Viscount Longstreet himself chose you for the child’s godfather.”
Darius’s fingers laced with hers. “You’re naked in bed with me, Vivvie, and spouting logic. I am not encouraged by that at all.”
“Hear me out, because you are inclined to spout logic, sir, to do the sensible, selfless thing when it makes no sense at all.”
She was getting ahead of herself. Vivian turned on her side to face him, keeping her hand in his. “You love your son. I have every conviction you loved the child before he was born, loved the idea of him and the possibility of him. Fiercely, without limit.”
A cautious nod, then Darius rolled to his side to face her too. “Go on.”
“If you are offering marriage to me because it ensures you become Will’s guardian, then be at peace, Darius, because Able will not contest your right to serve in his stead. He assured me of this before he and Portia took ship. If you are marrying me to keep me safe from Ainsworthy, then I think we need not fret he’ll trouble me from points unknown. If you are marrying me out of duty, as William did, then I can promise you, I have no interest in that sort of union, even with my lover.”
Darius traced her hairline with one finger. “I am not marrying you for any of those reasons, though they are sound enough, and I considered them. I hope you consider them too when you give me your answer.”
“Why do you want to marry me, Darius Lindsey?”
He brushed the pad of his thumb over her lips. “My reasons are selfish, Vivian. For once in my life, I must be selfish—purely self-interested. I have to be with you. You keep me safe from my worst impulses, from bad judgments and poor choices. You’ve hauled me out of a thicket where every turn was a wrong turn and I was contemplating dire alternatives far too soberly. I was so lost—”
He stopped and kissed her fingers one by one, and she waited for him to sort himself out.
“I cannot be the man I am supposed to be without you, Vivian. Unless I can love you, I will remain lost. I tried making my way on my own, relying solely on my own wits and wiles, and it was… you saw what I became. Please, Vivvie, let me love you. Let me be the one to love you as your husband, as your friend, as your lover, as anything—” He stopped and swallowed, closed his eyes, then opened them and looked straight at her. “I love you. I’m begging you to marry me because I love you and only because I love you.”
This time, his thumb brushed a tear from Vivian’s cheek. She scooted across the mattress, into his arms, and addressed the muscular expanse of his chest.
“I married William because he was my only option, and I was his best hope of companionship in his declining years. I married for duty and expedience. I could not bear another such marriage, Darius, not even with you. I was a biddable, unpaid nurse-companion in an ugly dress. I am not… I am not the woman I am supposed to be, unless I am with you. I had no courage. I had no fortitude. I had no trust. I was nobody’s mother, nobody’s lioness, nobody’s lover.”
She had to pause while he used the edge of the sheet to wipe her tears. “I want to marry you, Mr. Lindsey, desperately, to be all those things you showed me how to be, and to be your friend too, but mostly”—another pause, while she forced herself to look up and meet his gaze—“mostly, I want to marry you—I need to marry you—because you are the man I love, and the man who loves me.”
His embrace was fierce and cherishing as he shifted over her. “I do love you. I love you past all reason, to madness and past madness to unshakable sanity.” He kissed her forehead and her eyebrows. “I love you until I want to shout with it, until I could beat my chest for all to see.” He kissed her mouth, her nose, and again, more lingeringly, her mouth. “I love you until I could weep with it, Vivvie. I love you, I love—”
She kissed him, tenderly, using means other than words to match his verbal effusions.
In the hours, days, and years to follow, they resorted to words, and to those other means frequently, until the baron had three sisters and four brothers, until both Averett Hill and Longchamps were known for their generous hospitality and comfort, until even young people who thought themselves quite expert on the subject declared that The Honorable Darius Lindsey and his Lady Vivian carried on well into their golden years like a pair of newly besotted lovers.
Which, in fact, they did, each day and night of their marriage—exactly like a pair of newly besotted lovers.
Acknowledgments
Darius’s story is something of a departure from my usual path, though like all my books, it deals with reclaiming parts of the soul thought lost. My editor, Deb Werksman, spotted this story lurking in the shadows of my personal slush pile, yanked it into the light, and let me know early in our dealings that this tale merited further attention. If you’ve enjoyed the read at all, Deb should get the credit.
Thanks go as well—as always—to the wonderful people at Sourcebooks, Inc., who treat each of my books as if their name went on the cover: Skye, Cat, Susie, Danielle, and our fearless leader, Dominique Raccah. Writing books with the support of a team like this is a pleasure and a privilege.
About the Author
New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Grace Burrowes hit the bestseller lists with her debut, The Heir, followed by The Soldier and Lady Maggie’s Secret Scandal. The Heir was a Publishers Weekly Best Book of 2010, The Soldier was a Publishers Weekly Best Spring Romance of 2011, and Lady Sophie’s Christmas Wish won Best Historical Romance of the Year in 2011 from RT Reviewers’ Choice Awards. All of her Regency romances have received extensive praise, including starred reviews from Publishers Weekly and Booklist. Grace is branching out into novellas, and her first Scottish Victorian romance, The Bridegroom Wore Plaid, was named a Publishers Weekly Best Book for 2012.
Grace is a practicing attorney specializing in family law and lives in rural Maryland. She loves to hear from her readers and can be reached through her website at graceburrowes.com.