Her back was crisscrossed with white ridges and lines. The pattern continued all the way down her buttocks to the backs of her legs. Most were shallow and faint, but scar tissue had formed over a few of them. He knew, from the fire in his back and legs, that he bore the same marks, although within another hour, they would disappear from his body as if they'd never been.
His eyes burned and he closed them for a moment, despising himself for not knowing this, not taking the time to know every inch of his lifemate's body, know every bit of her past in order to secure the happiness of her future. He had vowed to cherish her, to place her happiness above all things and, even without the lifemate bond, honor should have dictated that he do so. He had been consumed with his own importance, his own desires and his belief that he was always right and others owed him their allegiance.
Nicolas bent forward and pressed his lips to the middle of a particularly deep scar.Forgive me, palafertiilm. There is no excuse I can offer to you, nor will I. Words will not repair the damage I have done to you, only actions .
His tongue swirled over the white slashes, and then traced each deep ridge. In his mind, merged so deeply with hers, he chanted the healing words of his people, words filled with power. As he did so, he waved one hand so that aromatic candles filled the chamber with soothing, curative scents. Across the mineral pool, herbs floated, releasing their fragrance to add to the therapeutic environment.
Nicolas swept one hand through his hair, feeling the chopped edges, his stomach knotting in protest of his shorn head. Dismissing the disturbing sensation of helpless anger, he bent closer to Lara's back and began the slow task of tracing each individual scar with his tongue. He doubted if, after all this time, the marks would disappear completely, but certainly they would fade until it would be difficult to see them. He wanted that for her.
He wasn't foolish enough to think that if he could make them disappear from her body, the trauma would be gone from her mind-they both would live with the damage done to her, but… I will not make
mistakes. Amusement slipped into the velvet of his voice.Not the same mistakes anyway …
A muffled sob escaped. She trembled from head to toe.
Lara. He whispered her name like a soft entreaty.Do not fear me. I know I was wrong .
Not you. Me. I was wrong. The aunts have always said where there is life, there is hope. It was cowardly to retreat. I didn't think what you would do or what would happen to you. I honestly didn't know you would follow me and try to bring me back. Another sob shook her.
He pressed kisses along two thin streaks, his tongue following the path of the whip marks to ease those lines from her body.If you had not, I would never have learned what it was like to be helpless. I would have said I understood, but how could I have had true understanding? I might have been compassionate and felt sympathy, but I would never truly understand. No, palafertiilm, it had to be this way so I could become a true lifemate to my other half.
Lara wanted to believe his low, mesmerizing voice, but she hadn't recovered her courage. She was terrified of a future with this man. Right now he was moving his mouth and hands over her body, stirring her into a torturous physical ache when she was so frightened she didn't know what to do or who to turn to. He held power over her, whether it was what she wanted or not. He seemed to understand, his voice was a seduction of promise, his hands and mouth a hypnotic blend of seduction and soothing warmth.
She lay facedown with her eyes closed, absorbing the feel of his hands smoothing over her skin. It was incredibly sensuous to have him lapping at her body with his tongue with long, slow caresses that made her body shiver. He wasn't trying to be sensual, it was just natural in his touch, an intimate stroke of his tongue, or maybe it was the pull between lifemates. She knew he wasn't trying to arouse her body, she was firmly in his mind and could feel his intentions to heal her, to take away reminders of abuse.
His hands shaped her hips, the pads of his fingers traveling over the curve of her buttocks, his tongue following the thin white stripes. Now she could feel his hair, the illusion of his shorn head gone, so that the long length of it fell like silky rain over her bare skin. Her womb tightened and her hips moved restlessly.
His entire focus seemed to be on her-on her body, her skin. His hands ran along the sides of her breasts, her ribs, shaped her hips and slid smoothly over and beneath her bottom to stroke beneath each cheek and down her thighs. The leisurely exploration was slow and gentle and all the while his tongue lapped at her scars. She could feel the brush of his lips as he planted little kisses along the path of her spine and into the small of her back. Her body vibrated beneath his touch, every nerve ending aware of him.
A sound escaped, somewhere between a moan and a slow hiss of need. She pressed closer to the pillow, tears burning in her eyes. How could she want him this way when he had taken her dignity, her independence, so hard-won after a childhood of abuse? But her body was on fire for him. Every touch of his hands, every lap of his tongue, even the brush of his hair sent flames dancing over her skin and built the hunger blossoming inside of her.
I am almost finished, o jela sielamak. Light of my soul, stay still for me. Because if she didn't, his body was going to go up in flames. He had started out with only a thought to heal her, but his groin was full and aching, pressed tightly against her thigh as he worked.
Nicolas tried to keep the feel of her satin skin and the rounded curves of her body from affecting him, but it was impossible. Her body trembled, her legs moved restlessly and he scented the call of mates, but
a small sob escaped, muffled and restrained. He remained deeply merged with her, reading her distress.
It is good to want your lifemate, Lara. Enjoy the feeling, do not fear it. Just because we both desire one another's body does not mean we have to act on that desire. You are safe with me. I wish only to heal you, not to add to your fears.
There was a small silence. He held his breath waiting for her response.
I'm not ready. There was apology and guilt in her voice.
How could you be? You have to trust before you can give your body into my keeping. There is no need to be upset because I want you. You are my lifemate. His tongue touched the back of her thigh in a slow, intimate dip into a whitened dimple.I am supposed to want you as you are supposed to want me .
Lara rubbed her face against the pillow, arousal teasing her thighs.I guess that is the one thing we don't have to worry about . Every stroke of his tongue intensified the need building. She was very confused, torn with fear, afraid to commit to him, yet her body betrayed her-wet, weeping with hunger, calling to his, breasts sensitive, feminine channel inflamed and needy.
He took his time on the backs of her calves, not rushing when his own hungers grew with every brush of his skin against hers.
This is not about sex, Lara, this is about healing. When I make love to you, there will be no doubt what I am doing. But you will not be confused and afraid. You will come to me willingly or not at all.
That was the trouble-she was willing-at least her body was and that felt like a betrayal of herself. She had allowed him to draw her back, in essence to agree to commit her life to his again, yet he still seemed to have all the power.
«The true power lies with you,» Nicolas objected, reading her fears easily. He sat up, waving his hand so that a soft material covered her bare skin, keeping her from feeling so exposed and vulnerable. He gathered her back into his arms, cradling her body to his. «A woman is the greatest treasure a man can have.» He could feel her body trembling and she looked up at him through troubled eyes veiled with thick lashes. «You really are too weak to be taken to the inn, but if it would make you feel better, I can do so. My fear is that if we are attacked, we would be very vulnerable there.»