She drank, choked, swept her tongue across him to close the pinpricks. Nothing could stop the forceful driving of his body into hers. Her orgasm ripped through her, somewhere between pain and pleasure, rocking her body, the shudders refusing to stop, gripping her with the same intensity as her muscles milked him. She felt him exploding, jetting into her with his seed, hot spasms that had a guttural sound tearing from his throat.
Vikirnoff buried his face in Natalya's throat, desperately trying to regain a steady heartbeat, to pull air into his lungs. She had been so tight and hot, her vaginal grip on his sensitive erection torturing him with pleasure as she clasped him to her, draining him completely. She was going to kill him if their lovemaking got any better, but it was a great way to go. He lifted his head enough to nuzzle her breast. Her nipples were tight hard beads, tempting him. His tongue flicked and teased.
Her body jerked around his, tightened on his flesh so that he groaned as fire raced through him, spreading through every nerve ending. «I love you, Natalya.»
«I don't think I can ever do that again. It scared the hell out of me. Worse than any vampire.» Her fingers tangled in his hair. «I couldn't stop. It just went on and on and I didn't have any control at all.»
He smiled against her breast. «It will only get better.»
«We're both going to die, you know that don't you?»
«It occurred to me,» he admitted. He kissed her again, gently this time. «You know you will be going through the conversion soon. I have heard it can be painful.» He lifted his head to look into her eyes. «I will do my best to spare you and the moment it is safe, I will put us both in ground.»
Fear etched tiny white lines around her mouth. Her eyes were enormous but she nodded at him. «Don't forget the book and the safeguards.»
He rolled off of her and drew her into his arms, holding her close. «I will not forget anything. Thank you for giving yourself to me.»
Natalya laughed. «Is that what I did? I thought you took me for yourself and there was no going back.»
«There is no going back now.» He murmured as the first ripple of pain took her, driving the air from her lungs.
Chapter 18
«Hold on to me, ainaak'sivamet jutta, I fear this will hurt like hell.» Vikirnoff's eyes held panic, something Natalya had never seen in him, just as she'd never heard that particular tone in his voice.
She reached for his hand, tangled her fingers with his. «I'm not the first woman to do this, you know. We'll get through it.» As the pain radiated through her with all the intensity of a
blowtorch, she wasn't altogether certain she was telling the truth. It took her breath, leaving her gasping.
Vikirnoff turned pale. «Damn it, I should never have let this happen.»
He startled her with his swearing. He often said things in his ancient tongue, but rarely did he curse. His blatant lack of control shocked her into focusing on him rather than the pain tearing through her body. Vikirnoff was already sweating, his eyes alive with fear for her.
When the first wave eased enough to allow her to breathe again she pushed her hand through his hair, her touch tender. «You're such a baby. It never occurred to me you'd be a baby.»
A baby? He wanted to kill someone with his bare hands. He didn't feel like a baby. He felt like a berserker, a wild, out-of-control demon, ready to rend and tear anything in his path. He couldn't believe the conversion would be like this, the pain ripping through her body with the force of a tidal wave. Against such agony, his tremendous power was utterly useless. «This is…» He spat out a series of words in his ancient language, his voice low and mean.
«I so don't want to know what any of that means,» Natalya said, trying to smile. The smile died swiftly as the pain began swelling again, gripping her so hard her body convulsed. Fire, hot and ferocious, tore through her body. She bit back a scream, desperate to hide the extent of the pain from him.
Small beads of blood formed on Natalya's brow. Vikirnoff swept back the tangled mess of her damp, tawny hair. Small stripes banded over her body, shades of orange, white and black, faint streaks tinged with blood. Raw fury burned through him and he cursed who and what he was. The way she tried to be so damned protective of him shredded his heart. He came up on his knees, soaked his shirt in the coolest pool in the cavern and wiped the sweat from her face as gently as he could.
Natalya suddenly pushed at him, tried to pull out of his mind, turning her face away from him, but he stayed firmly merged, his blood pounding through his veins. This was emotion at its worst. He rode the wave out with her, striving to find a way to help her, searching for calm. For centuries, his world had been unemotional, and now, when he needed it most, he couldn't find the balance that was so necessary to aid her.
She went white, so pale her skin was nearly gray. The bluish tinge to her lips had his heart pounding in alarm, but his hands were gentle as he wiped her face and throat.
She caught his arm. «Stay with me.»
«I am not going anywhere.»
«You can't possibly become vampire, can you, Vikirnoff?»
He knew her fears were because of her twin brother. She had lost him. The last person in her life to really love her. Now, she feared losing Vikirnoff. He brought her hand to his mouth, kissed her knuckles, opened her clenched fist and pressed a second kiss to the center of her palm. «Thanks to you, no. Not ever.»
She attempted a smile, trying to tease him, wanting to reassure him. «Then you owe me big time. Big time. And I intend to collect.» It was starting again, the torch in her stomach, burning through her lungs and heart and every organ. She tried to breathe through the pain, was desperate for air, for a way to stop the agony just for a moment so she could regroup. Tears burned in her eyes and streaks of blood ran down her face. «I'm sorry,» she whispered, her fingers tightening around his. «I'm going to be sick.»
«That is good.» He swallowed the bile in his own throat, feeling desperate. He wanted to wrap his body around hers, find a way to protect her, to take away every second of the pain. «That is a good thing. It will help you rid your body of toxins.»
She tried to crawl away, wanting to get into the shadows, but she was too sick, her body shuddering with pain, collapsing before she could reach the darker edges of the cavern. Vikirnoff tried to touch her, to help her, but she shook her head, pushing his hands away, unable to bear being touched with her skin so sensitive. He waved his hands at the candles flickering closest to her and the lights went out, leaving her with a semblance of privacy as she was sick over and over.
«This sucks,» she announced, rolling over to lie still, conserving her strength for the next round. «I know you can make that go away»-she pointed to the mess she'd made-«and I really detest throwing up, so remove it please.» She took the water bottle he handed her and rinsed her mouth, grateful he was thoughtful.
Vikirnoff complied, making certain all evidence that she had been ill was removed. «I want to try to do this together, Natalya. Do not hold yourself away from me or try to protect me. You are my life and I need to do whatever I can to help you through this. Let my heartbeat lead yours. Let my breath be yours.» He couldn't be a bystander while she suffered so much. He had to find a way to help her.
Natalya reached out her hand for his. It was almost comical to see him so shaken. Her big bad Carpathian. He was actually trembling. Worse, he looked ready to kill something, or someone. Who knew he would react like that? «What are you going to do if I ever have a baby?»
His face paled visibly and his eyes darkened even more. «I cannot think about it now. Not for a long time. Centuries maybe. Perhaps never, if it is anything like this.»