Shea laid her head gently over his. The dark emotions whirling within him were becoming alarming to both of them. Violence was mixed with terror. “I have never tried to deceive you. You know that. I don’t lie to you, and I don’t play games. We need the blood. You won’t get better without it. There’s no other way.”
You cannot leave me, Shea.This time his voice was a demand. He lost the indulgence often present when he conversed with her. All at once he was a being of enormous power, arrogant and commanding.
Shea sighed, her fingers caressing the strong bones of his face. “Don’t go getting all bossy with me, wild man. We need to stay focused on our problem. We need blood. And I don’t have any clothes that would fit you. Do you have a better idea?”
Wait until I am stronger and can go with you to protect you.
She shook her head. “You keep getting mixed up. I’m supposed to be protecting you. I’m your doctor.” You are my lifemate. There is only one. You are mine. Only one.
She lifted her head, green eyes searching his face. “You’ve never lived with a woman? You must have had sex.”
Carpathians do not live with any other than their lifemate. Sex is a simple sharing of the body, a pleasure that fades along with emotions after two hundred years if we do not find our lifemate.
“I don’t understand. Without a lifemate, Carpathians feel nothing?”
Nothing, Shea. Not affection or remorse, not right or wrong. Certainly not desire. After two hundred years Carpathian males cannot feel.
Color flooded her face. “You feel desire when you’re with me. I may not be experienced, but I do have medical training.”
His fingers tightened around hers, his breath warm along her knuckles. Iwant you with every cell in my body, with my mind and my heart. Your soul is the other half of mine. When you are with me, I feel. Joy, desire, anger, even laughter. You are my lifemate. I have waited over eight hundred years to find you. I could not see color until you came into my life.His black eyes, worn with suffering, fastened on her green ones. I cannot lose you. I can never be alone again. Mortals and immortals alike would be in danger should I lose you.
She didn’t want to touch that. She murmured his name softly, brushed a kiss against his temple almost without knowing it.
I cannot exist without you, little red hair. There is darkness in me. The beast is strong. I struggle every moment against loss of control. My lifemate is my anchor. Only you can save me, keep me from walking in complete madness.
Shea brushed the hair from his face with gentle fingers. “How do you know this? You’ve admitted you can’t remember much.”
I have opened my mind to you. You know it is true. You anchor me, and I can do no other than see to your happiness.
Shea couldn’t help but smile. “You have no idea how arrogant that sounds. You aren’t responsible for my happiness. I’m responsible for my own happiness. And at this moment, whether your macho pride can deal with it or not, I am the one responsible for your health and safety. We don’t have time to wait until you’re better. I have to go now. Every day we wait gives Don Wallace time to find us. When you’re able to travel, we’ll leave this place.” Her hand caressed his thick mane of hair. “I have to go, Jacques. I’m not leaving you, I’m only going for supplies.”
He retreated from her for a moment and as always, it was impossible to read his expression. His black eyes flickered. I will go with you.
Shea sat up reluctantly, hating to have to prove her point but knowing she must thwart his resolve. “Then let’s try going outside onto the porch. Let me do most of the work.”
You think I cannot do this.
“I think your will is strong, Jacques, but your body is weak. Perhaps I’m wrong. I hope I am.” She was silent as she made the preparations. She knew he couldn’t do it, not without terrible pain. The gurney was narrow and uncomfortable. Shea padded it with a blanket. As she helped him from the bed to the gurney, he broke out in a sweat, but he didn’t make a sound. With a sinking heart she pushed him out into the night air. Of course he would tolerate movement silently. He had endured torture and hours of surgery without painkillers or anesthesia. If he made up his mind to do this, he would do so without complaint.
Jacques pushed the pain aside, staring up at the stars, inhaling the night. His world—open air, the rush of wings, the high chirp of bats, the call of insects. He closed his eyes, the better to absorb the smells, the stories. His body resisted the physical exertion, crawled with pain, a dull-edged knife sawing away at his chest.
“Jacques, please don’t be stubborn. I feel what you feel.”
There is no need, Shea. Do not merge with me. I would not wish this on you.
“Please allow me to take you inside and get you into bed. Just this small amount of movement is hurting you. I won’t take you to the village no matter what you say. If the circumstances were reversed, you wouldn’t take me.”
A slight grin curved his mouth. If the circumstances were reversed, there would be no need to go to the village. I would call every human in the vicinity to nourish you.There was a threat in his voice, subtle but still there, and she caught the echo of his censored thought. No human would ever be safe from him if Shea were hurt.
Shea touched his forehead gently. “I’m safe, Jacques, and for now, I’m in charge.”
He gave the mental equivalent of absolute derision. This place is familiar to me.He was surveying his surroundings now, a peculiar glow in his black eyes. I know this place. Something happened here a long time ago that I should remember.His hand went of its own volition to his throat, tracing the thin, almost nonexistent white line curving around his jugular. Only a severe mortal wound can leave a scar.He murmured it aloud under his breath, as if to himself.
Shea remained very quiet, holding herself still, wanting to allow any memory possible to come to Jacques.
I have been here, some time ago. Perhaps a quarter of a century.Hishead ached, but the memory shimmered, solidified instead of slipping away. His black eyes moved restlessly over the clearing. There was a fight here. A vampire, high and powerful from afresh kill. I had never fought one before; it was my first time. I was not prepared for his strength, his ferocity. Maybe I just could not believe one of my own kind, even turned, would do such evil.He frowned in concentration, tried to catch more fragments and hold on to them. I was guarding someone, someone important, someone who could not fall into the hands of the vampire. There are so few...
The last thought seemed to trail off. Shea merged her mind firmly with his, felt his confusion, his frustration at being unable to capture and pin down the information. Shea put a hand on his forehead, wanting to soothe him. Her touch was tender, her green eyes anxious.
So familiar. Not green, but blue. A woman. Carpathian women are so few. We must guard them well, protect them. It was a woman I was guarding, and she was special. Our hope for the future.
Her heart nearly stopped. Jacques had fought for another woman, nearly lost his life, if the scar was any indication. What woman?Shea was totally unaware she had used the Carpathian lifemate’s method of communication.