He shook his head, the force of his will so strong, she had to look up at him. At once the molten gold captured her gaze. “No, Alexandria, you know that is not true. You wanted to believe it, so you convinced yourself. I chose not to confront you with the truth, but I never at any time misled you.”
A small, humorless smile touched her mouth. “Is that what you think? How noble of you to absolve yourself of any responsibility.”
He stirred, a slight ripple of muscles, and her heart leapt in alarm. He subsided, motionless once more, as if reading her fear. “I did not say I do not hold any responsibility in this matter. But I cannot change what is. Nor could I change what occurred last evening. Believe me, Alexandria, I would give anything that you not have had to endure what the vampire put you through. Had I been able to do more to spare you such agony, I would have done so.”
His voice, so soft and gentle, rang with honesty. He seemed incapable of lying. But didn’t vampires have that ability, that power to mesmerize their victims? Alexandria didn’t know what was reality anymore, but she was not going to allow anyone to take over her life without a fight. She had a brain, she was strong, and she was determined. She had long ago learned patience. Fortitude. Survival skills. Right at this moment she didn’t have enough information to make any decisions.
“Am I like you now?”
His mouth quirked in the smallest of smiles; then his face was once again a cool, blank mask, his golden eyes soulless, reflecting back her own image. “Not exactly. I was born Carpathian. My people are as old as time itself. I am one of the ancients, a healer of our people, and a hunter of the vampire. I have knowledge and power from centuries of study.”
She held up a hand. “I’m not sure I’m ready for all this. Mostly I want to know if I’m still me.”
“Who did you think you would become? There is no longer any lingering taint of the vampire’s blood in your system, if that is what concerns you.”
She took a deep breath. Drew on her knowledge of vampire lore. Hunger was a clawing ache. “What concerns me is... whether or not I can walk in the sunshine. Whether or not I can eat like a regular person, go to a fast-food place with Joshua and eat whatever I want.”
He answered calmly. “Sunlight will burn your skin. Your eyes will have the worst reaction, swelling and tearing. In daylight you must wear dark glasses, made with special lenses for our people.”
She let her breath out slowly. “That answers one question. I’m trying hard not to get hysterical here. Just say it out straight.”
“You must have blood to survive.”
“You could have broken it to me more gently, in stages or something,” she replied wryly, her customary irreverence clearly intact even though her mind was spinning, in total chaos. It was hard to think, to breathe. This couldn’t really be happening. It just couldn’t. “I hope you don’t expect me to sleep in a coffin.” She tried to make it a joke, to help her mind accept the possibility of such a thing. More than anything, she wanted to scream.
His eyes were absorbing her, drawing her to him. She could almost feel him reaching for her, an illusion so real that she felt the warmth of his arms, his soothing touch in her mind. “I do not think that will be necessary.”
Her tongue found her suddenly dry lips. “I can’t breathe.”
He physically touched her then, his hand curling around the nape of her neck, forcing her head down. “Yes, you can,” he said calmly. “This panic will pass.”
She dragged great gulps of air into her burning lungs, fighting the sobs tearing at her throat. She could not cry aloud. She couldn’t do anything but try to inhale. His fingers began a slow massage, so gentle, so light, but her body responded, an easing of the terrible tension at the calm command of his hand.
“Why didn’t you just kill me?” The words were muffled by the quilt, by her aching throat.
“I have no intention of killing you. You are innocent of any wrongdoing. I am not a cold-blooded killer, Alexandria.”
She looked up at him then, her large eyes meeting his. “Please don’t lie to me. This is hard enough as it is.”
“
I
am
a hunter,
piccola
. But I do not kill the innocent. I am a sentinel of justice for our people, appointed by our Prince, the leader of our people, to guard this city.”
“I am not your kind. I’m really not.” She knew she sounded desperate despite her every intention to remain calm. “There’s been some kind of mistake. You have to undo it.” Her voice was trembling, her body shaking. “If you would just listen to me, you would understand. I’m really not like you.”
His hand closed over hers, eased her clenched fingers, his thumb lightly stroking the frantically beating pulse in her wrist. “Stay calm, Alexandria, you are doing fine. You will heal fast. I know you did not get a look at yourself last night, but you are already remarkably healed. And you will find much to love in your new life. You will be able to see in the darkness as if it was high noon. You will be able to hear things never before heard, see things never seen. It is a beautiful world.”
“You don’t understand. I already have a life. And I have to take care of Joshua. Joshua can’t be without me during the day. He’s just a little boy. He needs me to take him to school. I have to work, too.”
Aidan said he was no killer, but Alexandria was not blind. He was beautiful but deadly beneath a thin veneer of civilization. She could not, would not, become like him. She had to care for Joshua. Aidan sighed, soft and gentle, a quiet exhalation she felt right down to her toes, and she had the horrible feeling that he knew what she was thinking, that he really was somehow in her head with her, sharing her thoughts and emotions.
“You will be able to care for Joshua. Your things have been moved into the second-floor rooms. You and Joshua will maintain living quarters there. It will be essential for you to keep up the illusion of human life. Only during the afternoon, when you are at your most vulnerable, will you come down to this chamber and sleep. Joshua remembers nothing of the vampire. I could not allow him to be traumatized for life.”
“You can’t allow him to know the truth,” Alexandria guessed shrewdly. “We have our own home. As soon as I’m able, I am going to take him away from here. “
Out of this city if need be, away from you, so far away that no harm can ever come to him.
There was a small silence that seemed to stretch into eternity. For some reason, she could feel her heart pounding in alarm. When Aidan moved, every muscle in her body froze. He was silent, but he terrified her, the way he moved so silently.
“There is a bond between us, Alexandria.” His voice was pure, like the sound of a clear stream running over rocks. “It is unbreakable. I will always know where you are, as you will always be able to find me. If I was going to harm Joshua, I would have disposed of him long before now. You will stay here and learn what you must to survive. At least give yourself time to adjust to your new life.”
“I want to see him, right now. I want to see Joshua.”
For some inexplicable reason, she was finding it impossible to breathe again. Emotions whirled and danced, raged and exploded, until she thought she might go mad. Instead she sat quietly like a polite child awaiting his agreement. He stood staring down at her with his golden eyes, his face an expressionless mask.
Afterward Alexandria had no idea how it happened. One moment she was sitting quietly, the next she had launched herself out of the bed and flung herself at him, unable to contain the rage racing through her. Aidan’s sensual features remained cool and calm even as he caught her small, flying figure. She was already desperately fighting to regain self-control, horrified at her behavior. She had never done such a thing before. Aidan restrained her easily, clasping her wrists behind her back so that she was held tightly against his hard frame.