She hated his voice. So gentle, so compelling, mesmerizing her into doing anything he wanted.
So reasonable, while she was out of control. He appeared not to notice her struggles, her hysteria. He made her feel her protests were childish, her behavior unreasonable. She took a deep breath and fought to regain control. “Let go, Aidan. I’m all right now.”
“I think I will hold you just a bit longer, piccola. I am in your mind, and I know that you seek to deceive both of us with your false composure. Relax, now, just breathe with me, and you will see that I have taken care of everything. Joshua will be safe with the arrangements I have made.”
“I don’t think you quite understand,” she enunciated distinctly. “I am Joshua’s sister. I am the one to decide what is safe for him or not. I want him with me.”
“He cannot be with you, Alexandria. It is impossible,” Aidan said patiently. His thumb found the frantic pulse at her throat and gently stroked it. “Joshua will remain in school.”
“It isn’t your affair. I want him home.”
“Do you think arguing with me is going to change what is? You are what you are, cara mia. There is nothing that can be done.” When she tried to move away from him, his arm prevented her escape.
“This arrangement is not going to work, Aidan. I refuse to allow you to dictate what I can or can’t do with Joshua. It isn’t your business.” Furious, she strained harder to get away from him, but she was beginning to feel so very tired.
Aidan cradled her head against his chest, his hand wrapped around her throat, her life’s pulse beating into his palm. “There is no way for you to live apart from me, Alexandria, and in your heart you know it is true. Perhaps that is why you struggle so desperately. You are not yet ready to surrender your freedom into my keeping.”
“I hate you.” He didn’t understand at all. From a very early age, she had been forced to take control of situations. She was used to it now. Liked it. She was good at it. Having someone else dictate her actions, tell her what she could or couldn’t do, was terrifying. And she feared that Joshua was slowly but surely being taken from her.
She made herself go limp, and she did what Aidan said. Breathed in. Breathed out. She felt the familiar push at her mind and tried to resist it. But even that was not something she could control any longer. He was too familiar with her blocks, her defenses. She blanked her mind, picturing a chalkboard and erasing everything that came across it.
Cara, trust me a little longer. I know what is best for Joshua. He will have to learn to face some things on his own, just as Marie and Stefan and their children have had to do.
Bodyguards will ensure that he is safe.
She did not respond. Where had her life gone? How had things gotten so crazy? So out of control? Perhaps Aidan had simply hypnotized her, and all the things that were happening were merely tricks her mind was playing on her. Or the truth could be even worse. If he was a vampire, if vampires existed, and the legends and tales were true, he could make her his slave. Make her do anything. She had to find out if Aidan spoke the truth or if she was under some spell.
She feared now that she had stayed because every time his golden eyes rested on her with possession and need, she had melted inside, had wanted him, wanted someone to feel that intensity for her. Sex. Had she allowed him to try to separate Joshua from her for sex? God, she hated herself. Hated what she had become. She needed to find a doctor. A psychiatrist. None of this could possibly be real. She belonged in a padded cell. She needed help. Desperately.
The car pulled into the garage, but it was still not dark enough for her vulnerable eyes. Stefan opened her door, holding out a hand to help her. She took it meekly, determined to hide her intended defiance. She could feel Aidan’s golden gaze, his all-seeing eyes probing her face beneath her dark glasses, but he didn’t say anything.
She hurried into the house, and the relief from the sunlight was instantaneous. The heat searing her skin was gone, and the needles stabbing at her eyes disappeared. She realized that the heavy drapes were pulled, darkening the interior. Biting down on her lower lip, she made her way through the house, uncertain where to go, which way to turn. She finally reached the huge front entryway, yet she could not go out. Exhausted and in despair, she collapsed by the door and wrapped her arms defensively around her upraised knees. She was terrified for her own sanity.
In the kitchen Aidan hesitated, wanting to follow her yet oddly uncertain, suddenly afraid for her.
Marie and Stefan exchanged a look of anxiety. Aidan never showed signs of indecision, of uncertainty. Alexandria had shaken his self-possession. And they, better than anyone, knew just how dangerous he could be without his vigilant self-discipline, his taut self-control. “Aidan, perhaps if I talked to her,” Marie ventured.
“She is so frightened of me, she cannot even trust her own mind, her senses. She knows in her heart that we are one, that I would never harm her, but still she refuses, in her mind, to acknowledge it. She thinks perhaps she is deranged.”
“Most people could never accept what you are demanding of her, Aidan,” Marie counseled softly. “She is young and innocent, not a worldly woman. Her life has been very narrow. Joshua is her reason for living. She fears him slipping away from her. She needs to feel in control of something.”
His golden eyes slashed at her. “What are you saying?”
“You are very dominating. You command people. You make all the decisions. Alexandria is still struggling just to accept what has happened to her. You, better than any of us, know this, yet you still demand she do exactly as you wish at all times.”
He shoved a hand through his tawny mane. “I have given her more leeway than I have ever given anyone. You do not understand the demands of a lifemate. I can barely manage to think straight.
I need relief, Marie, as crass as that sounds. The beast in me grows stronger each day. I do not know how long I can successfully wrestle him down.”
“You are that beast, Aidan,” Marie said severely. “Alex is a child. A terrified child. And she has good reason to be. Give her the time she needs to adjust.”
“What of the others seeking her? And there are others. At least two more. You read the papers. A serial killer on the loose, they say. But it is the vampires. I feel their presence. They seek her. They can feel her, that she is one of us and unattached as yet.”
“That is not so. You are her lifemate. Your blood is in her as hers is in you. There is no way one of them could lure her from you. In all our years together, I have learned that much. It is your Carpathian nature blinding you, Aidan, your urge to keep your lifemate always under your wing, to claim and protect her. Despite outward appearances, that part of you is still wild and uncivilized. But Alexandria is just as essentially human. She was not born Carpathian. She has no idea what is expected of her, what is even happening to her. She doesn’t understand yet.”
Aidan sighed, rubbing his temples. “She suffers needlessly. If she would but merge her mind fully with mine...”
“She wouldn’t yet trust what she learned anyway,” Marie insisted.
Aidan sighed and turned to Stefan. “We have to retire to the chamber soon. But you know I felt the presence of something unclean watching Joshua’s school. I believe the others will strike against us soon. Please be alert to any danger to any of you.”
Stefan nodded. “I have made the necessary calls, and the security system is in place. Do not worry about us. We have been through this before.”
“Too many times,” Aidan replied sorrowfully. “Why you stayed and chose to live this life so far from our homeland, so dangerous for you and your sons, I do not know.”