We really didn't have much of a choice. Juliette didn't try to speak. Her raw throat wouldn't allow it, and in any case it was too tiring. She could feel the beast in her fighting for life, resisting the change in her body. The jaguar didn't want the reshaping of organs and tissue. Juliette was just too weary and in too much pain to care.
I would have converted you without the attack from the male. He felt compelled to confess it, settling next to her, holding her in his arms, lifting her fingers to his mouth. I would not have been able to continue without you. Riordan wasn't certain it was an apology, only that he wanted her to understand his conflicting emotions.
I would have been unable to continue without you. Riordan, so stop beating yourself up. Get my clothes off, I can't stand the weight of them against my skin. The last was said in desperation.
He stripped her clothes away without a thought for the material, shredding it from her body as quickly as possible. Her skin was hot to the touch. Riordan dipped his shirt into the coolest of the pools and bathed her face and wrists.
"I dreamt of you once," he said softly as he squeezed droplets of water over her throat and down the valley between her breasts. "You were laughing. I remembered the sound of your laughter for years afterward. It kept me going at times when I could not find a reason to continue." He pushed the hair from her face. She was sweating. The beads of sweat mixed with tiny beads of blood.
I dreamt of you, too. There was happiness in her voice, the only thing that kept him from crying when a convulsion took hold of her and pain lashed for what seemed an eternity. She gripped his wrist, held on, trying to breathe through it, stay on top of it. When the wave released her she sighed. I still think you're a dream.
He had to swallow several times before he could speak. "Even now, with what I'm putting you through?"
Her eyes flashed, a reminder of her passionate nature, the fire contained in her feminine body. I am jaguar. I have choices, and I make them. I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. As a jaguar, I have no future. With you I do. As a jaguar, there is no happiness, with you there is. I know the difference, Riordan.
Before she could say more, the next wave hit her, even stronger than the last. The jaguar was not going to let Riordan have her without a fight. Riordan ground his teeth together, trying to take the pain from her, the bursting fire that rushed through her body and seared her insides. She was stoic about it, enduring the pain without a complaint. There wasn't a hint of blame in her mind. When the wave passed she inhaled the scent of the healing candles. I'm going to be sick.
It was his only warning and he moved quickly, holding her while her body rid itself of toxins. She was violently ill even as another wave of pain raced through her. Riordan was cursing when it ebbed away.
Wrapping her in his arms, he carried her into the coolest pool, submerging both of them up to their necks. He buried his face against her neck. "Are we going to survive this?"
She smiled. Not physically, but he felt it in his mind. You are such a baby when it comes to me. I see you all rough and tough when you're scaring everyone around you with your bad-boy image and you fall apart because I'm in pain. She caught a glimpse of something else and it brought tears to her eyes. You're falling apart because of what happened to Jasmine. Riordan, it wasn't your fault. How could you think that?
Before he could answer, the blowtorch blossomed in her stomach and lungs, eating through her until it was so great she convulsed again, her brain shutting off to prevent her from overload. All Riordan could do was hold her, feeling helpless and guilty and angry for not understanding what would occur.
Juliette opened her eyes and looked up at him. You're crying blood, Riordan. Don't cry for me. I chose this path and I didn't expect my passing from one to the other to be easy. I feel the jaguar fading in strength. I knew from your memories that human women with psychic abilities could be converted, and all the jaguar women, and hopefully the descendents with more diluted blood, are psychic. I had hoped Solange would find a Carpathian to bring her the same happiness, and even, eventually, Jasmine, but I fear the jaguar in Solange is far too strong. It would never let her go.
Had I not taken you when you saved me from the laboratory, you would have been home to aid your sister. He couldn't say the words aloud to her. He whispered them in her mind. The idea that a male would commit such atrocities against a woman burned like a hole in his belly.
I was not expected back that night, Riordan. Jasmine knew I would draw the human trackers away. Neither of us expected an attack by the jaguars. I didn't even know they were in our part of the forest. I wasn't worried about the males.
He forced air though his lungs, so much rage in him the ground shook. I know her through you. A younger sister who will remain scarred for life. I wanted to insist she come home with us to the ranch, but I have brought you fully into my world. Who will be with her in the hours when she is alone?
The next wave was even longer, her thrashing body creating waves in the pool. Water splashed in agitation. The flames from the candles leapt as if a wind rushed through the cavern. The lights flickered, and the scents mingled to bring healing aroma wafting over the pool.
Juliette's nails dug deep into Riordan's skin. It took a few moments to find her breath again. She'll always have me. And now you. She's uneasy with your presence, and so is Solange, but they'll get better with time. We'll be more able to watch over them. Two of us with the Carpathian gifts will be able to guard them more carefully.
He bathed her, taking his time, cleaning her skin thoroughly, his hands lingering in places he sensed soothed her. The water helped to keep her skin cool.
The water helps. And the feel of your hands. When I dreamt of you, I dreamt of your hands touching me. I knew what they'd feel like on my body before you actually touched me physically.
"When did you dream about me? Did I look the same?"
Your hair was flowing in the wind, and you had that same incredible smile. I couldn't see your eyes as clearly because you were touching me and I was feeling rather than looking.
His heart nearly stopped beating. He remembered his dream vividly. He had awakened with a terrible hunger and his body alive with heat. He hardly recognized the sexual urges, he hadn't experienced them in centuries. He heard her in his mind, laughing softly, sensuously, calling to him. She was running just ahead of him, her scent ripe with heat. In his dream he had no choice but to follow her. She was always just out of reach, a tantalizing temptation, leaving in the air behind her a trail of sexual excitement.
We must have been close to one another and I was telegraphing my need. The purer the blood of the jaguar, the more the sexual heats hit us hard. Fortunately, there aren't many of us women left. We stay as far away from the males as possible.
Riordan closed his eyes against the next wave of pain. The convulsion actually took her out of his arms, so that she nearly sank beneath the agitated water. He cursed his people, even his God, everything he could think of, then began to pray, promising everything he could think of if only her ordeal would be over.
He heard her soft laughter in his mind even before the pain leeched from her body. You're going to save the world if this stops?
He rubbed his chin over the top of her head. "I was desperate. It has to be over soon."
No wonder women have all the babies.