"Not you, not if it is anything like this. We will do without babies. I am serious, Juliette. I think I am going to be sick."
Well don't. I'm sick enough for both of us. I'm so tired. I just want to sleep.
He waded out of the pool, bringing her back to the rich, welcoming soil. "I can send you to sleep the moment it is safe to do so." He kissed her eyes closed. Kissed the corners of her mouth. "I love you."
How strange. I love you too.
It took two more intense waves of burning fire and convulsions before the jaguar was gone, the conversion was complete, and he could issue the command for healing sleep. He wrapped his arms and body protectively around hers and wept while the candles burned brightly and the water lapped at the edges of the pool.
Chapter 11
Riordan paced back and forth, his restless nature showing through his normally calm demeanor. Juliette had been in the house with her sister and cousin for most of the night. Dawn was only a couple of hours away, and he had yet to spend time with her. He understood completely the need to be with her sister after such a trauma, and he tried hard to suppress the selfish part of his nature, but fear was an ugly, clawing thing that kept him on edge. Solange and Jasmine wanted nothing to do with men. Riordan didn't blame them. Jasmine's gentle nature could barely tolerate what had happened to her. She was hanging on to her sanity by a thread. Juliette would help with her healing skills, strengthened by Riordan, but he knew the two women were a tremendous influence on Juliette. She also had a nature that demanded loyalty and responsibility. Jasmine was in pain, was terribly wounded. Juliette might feel she needed to stay with her.
The moment they had risen, he had fed, taken care of her needs and kept his promise to her family, bringing her straight to them. He knew they needed to be alone, and he had been the one to suggest he wait outside, but he couldn't help wanting to protect her from the pain of what Jasmine had gone through. It was difficult in the ensuing hours to keep his mind firmly away from hers to give Juliette and her family complete privacy, but he managed by pacing restlessly back and forth just in front of the small house.
He heard the door and spun around. Juliette was framed there, holding Jasmine and Solange to her, hugging them hard. She emerged with a bright smile on her face and tears in her eyes. It was obvious she had been weeping on and off for hours. Riordan's heart moved in his chest. He opened his arms, and she came into the shelter of his body.
He glanced over her head, nodded when Solange and Jasmine both lifted a tentative hand before closing the door. "I am so sorry I could not be there to comfort you," he whispered, brushing soothing kisses along her temple and down her tear-stained cheek. "I wanted to be there for you."
"I know. I carried you with me and leaned on your strength more than once. She needs time, Riordan. Please don't take the way they are personally. They'll come to love you, I know they will."
"They have given me acceptance," he pointed out. "I did not even expect that much, so I am grateful."
"I want to shift into another form and run away for awhile. I want it to be just you and me somewhere beautiful where I can't think about terrible things happening to people I love. Take me away, Riordan. Let's go find our pool. Let's just be together where I can't think anymore."
"Would you like to try a leopard form? I often use it to travel through the forest."
She tugged until he let her loose. "That might be best. I still feel like a cat inside." Being close to Riordan definitely brought cat traits out in her. "Let's try." The thought of losing herself in an animal form was enticing. It had been wearing, all those long hours, holding her baby sister, rocking her, crying with her. She looked up at Riordan. "In the end, there's no real way to take it back. No way to help her." Juliette looked ashamed for a moment. "I almost asked you if you could remove her memories."
"Not with that large of a trauma. I could perhaps lessen the impact, but it would be in her memories and she might not know why she had reactions to things that were upsetting to her. If you want me to try-"
Juliette shook her head. "Jasmine is strong. She can survive this, maybe better than the rest of us. I've never seen Solange so filled with sorrow. We chose to remain here, moving from place to place because mom told us the males were kidnapping women they suspected of being of jaguar blood and bringing them here. They have no one else, no hope of rescue other than us. So we stayed."
"Now there are others to help, Juliette. I will. My brothers will. My people will."
She smiled at him, for the first time, her heart lightening. "Our people, Riordan. I'm Carpathian now."
He trailed his fingers over her cheek, framed her face with his hands and bent his head to find her mouth with his. His kiss was gentle, loving, tender even. "Absolutely, you are Carpathian."
"So how do I make the change?"
"In much the same way as before. I have the image and structure in my head. Study it, focus on it and reach for it. I will help. With us, we actually have to hold the image in our mind the entire time we stay in the form. You become the jaguar. We are the image of the animal. We have all of its senses and abilities, but we must maintain the outer shell."
She liked the idea. It would occupy her thoughts entirely. And she found she wasn't quite ready to give up the freedom she always felt running in her jaguar form through the heavy canopy. Juliette stretched her arms up to the night sky. "Show me the leopard."
"The leopard is in your mind. Hold its form, Juliette, do not think you can forget it as you did the jaguar," he cautioned.
"With you to remind me, I doubt I would have a chance," she teased, already reaching for the image. It wasn't all that different from her own unique beginnings, but it was complex. As she changed form, so did Riordan. He made it seem easy and natural and fun.
The moment Juliette felt the familiar ropes of muscle, joy spread through her. She turned her head to look at the large cat beside her. He was big and shiny black with darker rosettes covering his body. He looked powerful and muscular and very alluring. She rubbed against him, body to body, a long affectionate signal to play. Whirling, she took off running in the direction of their private grotto.
Riordan, deep inside the body of the leopard, paced just behind her, admiring her sleek lines and beautiful curves. They leapt over fallen logs, rousted rodents from the shrubbery, chased a small squirrel through several trees and splashed through two creeks and up an embankment. Both raked the bark from the trees, Juliette trying to reach higher than the much larger male.
He rubbed his muzzle along her face and neck. His teeth playfully bit at her neck and shoulder. Her fragrance was ripe and enthralling, captivating him until all he could do was think about her. She teased him openly, running away, waiting for him to catch up, crouching temptingly in front of him, only to leap away before he could blanket her.
Riordan was grateful to see the shimmering pool of water waiting for them in the natural rock grotto. The high ferns screened the lush oasis from prying eyes, making it a virtual paradise.
They shifted together, Juliette laughing with glee. "That was so fun." Her gaze drifted boldly, possessively over him. "I see the experience was particularly arousing to you." Juliette stepped close to him, inhaling his scent. Her fingers trailed with tantalizing expertise over his aching erection.
Before he could react, she shifted her palms to his bare chest, "I don't think the change completely took the cat out of me." She ran her hands over his chest, feeling every defined muscle. "I thought I wanted all of it gone, every last bit of that DNA from my body, but I've changed my mind."