"There is you." A radiant smile lit Lani's face. "That is much. And there is your father."
"Who is seldom here, and when he is, he uses you and then leaves you to face your problems alone."
"That does not matter."
"It does matter. You should leave him."
Lani's brows lifted. "If he's so terrible, why do you not leave him? Why do you not take your fine horse and go live in the valley on the other side of the mountain, as you're always telling me you're going to do? What of the herd of wonderful horses you're going to breed?"
She lifted her chin. "I will do it."
"When?"
"I need a mare to equal Kapu."
"And are you going to find her in this cottage on the hill?"
"Of course not."
"Then why don't you leave this terrible man you call Father and go make a life of your own?"
"He's not terrible. He's just-it's not the same. You're not bound to him as I am." She burst out, "He needs me."
"And you love him," Lani said gently. "It's easy to love Charles. He is gentle and kind, and it's not his fault that he was not given the will to withstand adversity. It's very hard to walk away from a man who needs you, isn't it?"
"Is that why you stay?" Her brooding gaze went to the cottage on the hill where Clara waited. "Because he has need of you?"
"It's a strong bond. I'm a woman who must be needed." She touched Cassie's shoulder with a loving hand. "Fulfilling that need enriches me. I feel blessed that I was allowed to come here."
Cassie blinked back tears. "You have no sense." She went into Lani's arms and gave her a hug. "We're the ones who are blessed. We don't deserve you."
"That is probably true," Lani said serenely, then laughed. "Particularly if you cause me more trouble with the old one this night."
"I'll be good." Cassie stepped back and moved quickly up the trail. "I'll be no trouble at all. I promise you."
"You're always good."
Cassie snorted. Nothing could be less the truth. Even when she tried to school herself for Lani's sake, she nearly always failed. "Is that why I ran away today and left you as my father always does?"
"I know you could not stand it any longer. I could see it seething within you yesterday when she was pecking at you with her sharp tongue. You don't have a gentle spirit and sometimes passion overcomes you."
Passion overcomes you…
Lani had not meant the phrase in a carnal sense, but Cassie had a sudden vision of the Englishman on the beach. He had both angered and stirred her. Was this part of the turbulent nature Lani spoke of? The memory of that queer breathless moment before she had left him caused heat to rush through her. It was most unsettling; she would not think about it. "I won't run away again. It's not fair to you."
"You'll do what you need to do. I knew you'd return once your anger had lessened."
"Someday I won't come back. Someday I'll make it happen. I'll take you and Kapu to the other side of the island, and we'll never set foot here again."
"Someday." Lani smiled. "But not while he still needs us. Yes?"
Cassie nodded resignedly. "Yes."
"Now, don't be so gloomy. Did you have a good day? How is Lihua?"
"Good." She paused. "There's an English ship in the bay. She and the others have been swimming out to couple with the sailors."
Lani frowned. "That is not good. She may get the disease."
"I told her. She wouldn't listen."
"No, not when the blood runs hot." Lani added, "I remember when I was only fourteen, a ship from Russia docked in the bay. My mother told me that there was some talk of the foreigners bringing disease, but I paid no attention. I swam out with the others and chose a sailor of my own. He was very strong and brought me much pleasure." She chuckled. "Such foolishness. I was lucky that he did not have the disease."
"Yes." Cassie looked away from her and asked haltingly, "Can you truly have pleasure with a stranger?"
"Of course. As long as there is no cruelty and the man has skill."
"Then why do you say I shouldn't couple with any of the men from your village? They're not even strangers and would be kind to me. Would that be bad?"
"Bad?" Lani grimaced. "Now you're talking like the old one. Have I not taught you better? Love is never bad. It would just be unwise for you."
"Why?"
"You might have a child, and the old one would be very cruel to you, to both of you. You would have to choose between your father and the child." She shook her head. "You have a very loving heart, and to deny either one would hurt you. It is better to wait until the situation alters. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
Lani gazed at her curiously. "Why have you never questioned me about this before? Have you found a man you wish to pleasure?"
"No!" Cassie tried to shrug casually. "I just wondered. Sometimes it's difficult for me when I go to the village. I don't feel like a foreigner, but I'm not one of them either. I don't belong anywhere."
"Then you must find your own place."
"I will." She smiled at Lani and repeated, "Someday."
Lani nodded. "It may not be-" Her gaze on the veranda, she broke off and her pace faltered. "There's the old woman. I must leave you here, or she will suspect I told her falsehoods." She moved toward the shrubbery at the side of the trail. "I'll go back and get Kapu, but I may not be able to come to you before morning. I told the old woman I was going to bed. Have you eaten supper?"
"Yes," Cassie lied. Lani had already risked too much for her today. If she admitted that she had not had anything but a piece of fruit since that morning, Lani would move heaven and earth to make sure she was fed. "Go."
Lani gave her another fleeting smile and was gone.
Cassie braced herself and moved quickly toward the woman waiting on the veranda.
Clara Kidman stood straight and forbidding, silhouetted by the candlelight streaming from the room behind her. "Good evening, Cassandra. I trust you had a pleasant day," she said coldly. "How is your father?"
"Well." Cassie walked hastily toward the bamboo door. "He should be home within a few days. He gives you his regards."
"And did you tell him of your rudeness to me?"
Cassie didn't answer.
"Or your undisciplined behavior?" Clara questioned grimly. "I think not. You probably gave him sweet smiles and told him lies about me. It will do you no good. When he comes back, I'll tell him the truth, and he will let me punish you as I see fit."
"Perhaps." She felt the familiar anger tightening her chest. She had made a promise to Lani. She must escape to her room before Clara found a way to get under her guard.
"He knows that such unbridled behavior is not to be permitted. You're turning into as much a pagan as that whore he uses for his lust."
Cassie stopped but did not look at her. "She's not a whore."
"A whore," Clara repeated. "Whore and Jezebel and lost to all goodness."
"She is good. She's kind and generous and-"
"Are you defying me again?"
Cassie wanted to strike out at Clara, but that was what she expected. She knew that Cassie could withstand verbal abuse directed against herself, but an attack on Lani invariably brought a response. She would not lose her temper. She had promised Lani. "I'm not defying you," she said, trying to keep her tone even. "But my father would not like you talking in that fashion about Lani. He truly cares about her."
"Blasphemy. A man who was wed to a woman as pure and saintly as your mother would never feel anything but lust for a harlot who bares her breasts to all the world."
"She doesn't do that anymore."
"Only because I convinced your father how sinful it was to expose you to such behavior. I told him that if he permitted such conduct from her, she would soon be having you running around half-naked."
Cassie felt an instant of satisfaction over her state of undress that day. Lani had taught her that the human body was the most beautiful of creations and she must never be ashamed to bare it. She had an almost irresistible temptation to tell Clara she had not won that particular battle. Her resolve was clearly weakening, and she had to get out of the room before she exploded. "I'm very tired. Good night, Clara."