He caught her as she reached the courtyard and whirled her to face him. "Talk to me," he said through his teeth. "For God's sake, tell me what-" He broke off as he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. "My God."
"I have to go." She started to struggle. "I have to-"
"Not until- All right, anything, just, for God's sake, stop crying." He let her go and stepped back. "But it's not the end of it. Tomorrow you're going to tell me what you're upset about."
She would never tell him.
She turned and ran across the courtyard. She could feel his baffled, frustrated gaze on her back as she tore up the stairs and into the hall. She would never commit that final betrayal.
She would never, never tell Jared she loved him.
"Cassie?" Josette was sitting on the bottom step of the staircase, dressed in night shift and robe, bare feet curled beneath her. Her eyes were wide with alarm. "You're weeping. What did he do to you?"
She wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hands. "What are you doing here?"
"I heard you and Jared arguing in the hall. I was worried… I couldn't sleep." She shook her head. "You said he wasn't angry."
"He wasn't." She started up the stairs. "Go to bed."
Josette scrambled to her feet and followed her. "Then why are you crying? You never cry."
"I just am."
"Why?"
The tears wouldn't stop flowing and neither would Josette's questions. Cassie suddenly flared. "It's my concern. Leave me alone!" Then, when she saw Josette's stricken expression, she was instantly remorseful. "It's not… Everything is… it's too much."
"Is it Jared? Do you want me to talk to him?"
"No!" She tried to temper the sharpness. "Nothing is wrong. Jared didn't hurt me. He's actually been very kind. He gave me Morgana."
"You have to be jesting," Josette whispered.
She shook her head. "He's taking Kapu and Morgana's foal. So, you see, everything is fine."
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because I can't-" She stopped and then said, "Because it's time I left Morland. I can't stay here any longer."
The words startled her as much as they did Josette, but once they were uttered, she knew no other action could result from the realization that she loved Jared. If she didn't leave him now, she wasn't sure she would ever leave him.
"No!" Josette cried, dismayed. "Why should you go? Everything is fine now. I don't have to go back to school, and Jared gave you Morgana. We could have a lovely time."
"Josette, I don't belong here. Have you forgotten my father?"
Josette was silent a moment. "I wish you could." She held up her hand as Cassie opened her lips to speak. "But I know you can't." She shook her head. "Jared won't let you go."
Cassie forced a smile. "Then I'll have to go without his knowledge, won't I?"
"Do you have any money?"
"About a hundred pounds my father left with Lani."
"Lani will go with you?" Josette answered her own question. "Of course she will." Her tone became wistful. "It's just that I've gotten so used to both of you. I'll miss you…"
"We'll miss you, too."
"Truly?"
Cassie nodded her head. "Truly. But I have to go."
"It's difficult getting into French ports these days. Few ships will accept the risk." Josette frowned. "And how will you manage to arrange passage? I doubt if you could leave Morland without Jared's sanction."
"I don't know." She shook her head wearily. It was trying enough to come to terms with the knowledge that she loved Jared. She couldn't deal with anything else. "I'll think about it later. Right now I'm going to bed." She started up the stairs again. "And so should you."
"And what about papers?" Josette followed her. "I think you should stay here."
Cassie shook her head.
"Then I think I should go with you."
"What!" Cassie turned to look at her in surprise.
"Well, I could sail you across the channel in my boat. If we didn't land at a major port, you wouldn't be faced with the problem of papers immediately."
"You would do that for us?"
Josette grinned. "You need me. I've had all kinds of experience in escapes. At least twice a year since Jared sent me to Carradine Hall. Do you think it was easy getting away from the gargoyle all those times? I'm more prepared now than you'd be in a year."
"Carradine Hall isn't Morland." Cassie's first leap of hope vanished. "I couldn't let you do that for us."
She coaxed. "I'm a very good sailor. It wouldn't be that dangerous just to land you and Lani on a beach near a village and come back."
"Jared would be angry with you."
"Not for long. Besides, I'd rather face Jared's anger than worry about your safety."
It was very tempting, the answer to most of the obstacles that stood in their way. "I'll consider it."
Josette nodded briskly. "You'll see that my way is best." She turned down the wing where her chamber was located. She cast Cassie a mischievous glance over her shoulder. "And in the meantime I'll start making plans. It takes a great deal of forethought to make good an escape."
Josette's sorrow and disappointment had been submerged in anticipation and purpose. Cassie wished she could shift emotions so easily. She felt raw and desolate, and the entire world seemed dark. She wanted to run to Lani and hear her say that everything would be all right.
But she couldn't do that this time. She had crossed into territory that was forbidden to her. How could Lani understand that she loved the man who was her father's deadly enemy? How could she understand it herself? She didn't even have the comfort of knowing that Jared loved her in return. He desired her, but passion was not love. He had been consumed by hatred of her father for too many years, and it was madness to think he would ever allow himself to love her. No, his bitterness was too strong, the gulf too deep.
Dear God, the tears were falling again. She must stop this stupid weeping. There was nothing to be done but what they had set out to do. She must save Papa and then return home.
She must make a life for herself far away from Jared, a world away…
Fourteen
"I don't like using Josette this way," Lani said, seated in her usual chair in the library "It could be dangerous for her."
"Do we have a choice?" Cassie asked. She didn't like it either, but there seemed no alternative. "If she turns around and immediately goes back to England, it should lessen the risk."
Lani nodded slowly. "That's true. And the journey is only a scant twenty miles or so. My people go much vaster distances in their voyager canoes." She paused. "Have you a plan for finding Charles? Perhaps he hasn't even arrived in Paris yet. I told you of the message Jared received from his man, Guillaume, saying that he had not been seen there." She shrugged. "I suppose it's possible that Jared received another message to the contrary. He was suspiciously careless of that first message. I think he meant for me to find it."
But her father probably had not arrived, or Jared would have departed immediately for the Continent, Cassie thought. "I hope he hasn't arrived there. When he does, he'll go directly to Jacques-Louis David for information about Raoul Cambre."
"And you think this is a dangerous move?"
She shivered. "I met Cambre only once, but I didn't like him."
"A child has no great judgment."
"But excellent instincts. I don't want Papa near him."
"And we go to this David and ask him to put us in touch with Charles when he contacts him?"
Cassie nodded. "We can find lodgings at a small pension near David's residence until he arrives."