Dmetri leaned back against the door, feeling as though his whole world had just been knocked upside down. Christine poked her head out of the bedroom door then walked up to him.
The heat that had filled her eyes was now gone and replaced by apprehension. He hated seeing that look in her eyes. He wanted to wipe it clean and get her back to how she had been.
“Maybe I should just go—” she said.
Dmetri stiffened. “You heard everything?”
She nodded and the lead ball in his stomach dropped through the floor. His temples decided now was the best time to start hurting; it felt like a hammer banging on wood.
“I’m sorry about my mother.”
Dmetri didn’t say anything for a long minute. Instead, he studied her eyes trying like hell to read a response from her. What did she think of what she heard? Did she too just realize that he had the same motives as her mother, with only a slight difference?
“Let’s go back into the bedroom,” he said.
She shook her head slowly. “No, first I need to tell you something.” Dmetri tensed, waiting.
She took a deep breath and a blush bloomed on her cheeks. She was so pretty, he couldn’t resist touching her, so he cupped her cheek. The heat from the blush warmed his cool hand.
“I...I need to tell you something.”
“Yes, you’ve said that.” Whatever she had to say must be important, because instead of saying it she looked down and twiddled with her hands. Dmetri’s gut tightened with unease. He had two hunches. “Out with it.” He tried to say it gently, but he was on edge and it came out more as a growl.
She shook her head firmly, and then cleared her throat. “Yes, well, this is awkward and all, but I just wanted to tell you that I have...feelings for you.” Panic flared instantly. He kept his expression cool to hide the warning signs going off inside him.
“Okay...”
The blush grew brighter and he took his hand away. “I, um, I think that I love...you.” She now stared hard at the floor, jaw set, flips flat, and the blush spreading down past her neck.
It was the cutest thing he’d ever seen, and the scariest news he’d ever heard. When he didn’t say anything, her shoulders sagged, and she looked up at him with wide doe-eyes that made his gut clench even tighter. Slowly, she started nodding, and then she turned and walked away.
I can’t let her get away!
The thought ran frantically through his mind, but he stilled his body from going after her.
He took a step towards her, but stopped himself. This was for the best. A clean break before he convinced her to come home with him. Definitely for the best, he told himself.
She came shuffling back in a few minutes later, her clothes back on. Her eyes didn’t meet his. Dmetri’s fist tightened to keep from reaching for her. Damn it, he wanted to wrap her back up in his arms and kiss her until all talk of love was gone. He wanted her to look at him, smile again with that smile that made even his miserable ass happy. He hated himself in that moment, had never felt more like an ass. He’d done that. He’d made her feel like this. And nothing he could do would fix it.
She paused before him. Dmetri held his breath, wishing she’d say something that would put them back on terms where they’d been. But she said something else that rocked him on his feet.
“I won’t see you anymore, Dmetri. It’s been fun.” She laughed but the sound was sad. “I, uh, hope that maybe you turn around one day before I completely put you out of my life.” Then she opened the door and left. And he let her go.
Chapter 22
Christine never let herself cry. Not even during sappy movies that she liked to watch on occasion. But tonight, there was no holding back.
She opened the door to her house and was met with complete silence. Her home was empty and cold, so fitting to how she felt right now.
She climbed into bed fully clothed, then stared up at the ceiling. Burning wet liquid pushed at her eyelids, but she strained, staring at the ceiling, refusing to let a single tear fall. If she did, then she’d be done for. There would be no stopping it.
She knew what his response would be after she told him. “God, I can’t believe I’m actually surprised,” she said with a shaky laugh. Still, she’d hoped.
She was stupid; it was as simple as that. It didn’t matter. She was going to tell him tonight anyway, she’d just wanted some time to be with him again before she did.
The burning liquid behind her eyes wouldn’t be contained anymore. The first tear slipped down past her temple and into her hair. More followed like little chicks following their mother.
A harsh sob broke from her, the sound nasty and bitter. Christine rolled onto her side, pulling a pillow tight against her stomach. Squeezing her eyes shut, she forced the crying to stop.
She didn’t know how long she lay there, listlessly. The dark night painted her room in shadows that moved with the swaying of the trees outside, creating dancing figures along her wall. She had to make a decision for herself, she realized. She was always letting someone else run her life.
First, her mother and her decisions; and now Dmetri did the same thing.
Her mind raced for answers on how she could change his mind. But long after the tears dried on her skin she realized that it didn’t matter that there was no getting him back. She’d said the “L-word” and now he was running from her.
She screamed until her throat hurt and her voice went hoarse. She pummeled her fists into the mattress until exhaustion took over.
Her heart was broken, but she could do something. Maybe it would fix it, maybe it wouldn’t. But if she finally took her life into her own hands, she could be happy. She didn’t want to marry some Alpha. A man’s status meant nothing to her. She wanted Dmetri, but how could she get him to agree? She’d seen his blank expression after she told him she loved him. The man had completely shut down.
As the night grew, Christine rested atop her messy bed and contemplated, planned.
Because she had finally found a man worth fighting for, and she wasn’t about to lose that so easily.
The knock came just as sleep was about to take her. Christine blinked several times as she groggily got out of bed. She peered out the window and saw the sky still dark with night.
Mumbling to herself, she stumbled against the wall and bumped her shoulder. The knock came again, harder than before.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” she said, rubbing her throbbing shoulder. She reached the door and pulled it open. Then the breath she was taking left her on a whoosh.
Dmetri stood there, tall and imposing, his face drawn into a fierce look. Christine’s heart started racing at a deadly speed.
“This is...unexpected.” She flinched at her voice, which was hoarse from crying.
The muscle over his right eye ticked and she almost smiled. “Indeed. May I come in?” Confused, she nodded and let him in. Dmetri usually charged in, taking command as if he owned any place he was in. Tonight he stood in front of her sofa for a moment, and then sat in it hesitantly. His eyes met hers and it was like an electric connection shot between them.
Christine’s heart raced, her breaths came quick and short. She felt as though something profound was happening, but she hadn’t figured out what it was yet.
“What?” She wanted to run to him, crawl into his lap until he wrapped his strong arms around her again and made everything feel okay. But she didn’t.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said.”
Her eyebrows flew high and once again, hope fluttered its big flapping wings in her chest. Bitterly, she knew she was only setting herself up for disappointment again.