As the young man regained his strength and mental capacities, she spent even more time in his company. He seemed to find her presence soothing, and she was flattered by his attentions. They talked about poetry and literature—both subjects Nellie was not well-versed in, but she was more than happy to be instructed by him—and when he grew stronger they strolled around the blighted grounds of the asylum. In his company the decaying gardens became flourishing arbours, and the raw north winds were spring breezes. She fell in love, and to her utter amazement, her feelings were reciprocated.
He loved her passionately, Phillip told her. She was his angel, his stalwart, his saviour. In the depths of his breakdown, it was she who had guided him back to sanity, she who had banished his torment and suffering. He could not live without her.
Three weeks later she eloped with Phillip Ormond, and they ran off to London.
Grimacing, Julian dusted some ash from his sleeves and tugged at the lapels of his frock coat. “From the sound of it, it was quite the whirlwind romance,” he said with more than a touch of acidity.
Nellie laced her fingers together, uncertain of his mood. Where was the impassioned rescuer who’d gone to such lengths for her, who’d kissed her just a moment ago with searing intensity? As she gazed at him, she struggled to recall the features of the man she’d married in so much haste. Phillip, her husband, with his fair hair and cherubic looks, soft hands and impractical disposition. So different from the man standing aloof from her here. Julian was gypsy dark, vivid, rough at the edges, dynamic and…exciting.
She bit down on her lip to punish herself. She should not be thinking such things, just as she should not have let Julian kiss her.
“Yes, it was a whirlwind romance,” she agreed.
But was it romance at all? She’d thought she was in love with Phillip, but she wasn’t so sure anymore. Cloistered away in the asylum, with a father dissipated and corrupted, she’d been naive and ripe for any kind of romance, and Phillip Ormond had been the first personable young man to cross her path. Of course she’d fallen in love with the idea of him, and of course she’d accepted his marriage proposal, dazzled that such a fine gentleman as he would wish to marry a humble doctor’s daughter.
“Why did you elope?” Julian asked, his expression taut. “Surely your father couldn’t object to such an advantageous match?”
Her father… Dear heaven, even now it was painful to recognise the degradation to which he’d sunk. Inhaling a deep breath, she answered steadily, “Unfortunately my father would not have seen it that way. He has become…rather partial to laudanum, and I took it upon myself to perform many of his duties. I knew he wouldn’t be happy at my leaving, for it would have been to his detriment.”
Julian stared at her. “My God, an opium addict in charge of patients. Surely the board of governors would have found him out?”
Yes, Mr. Crawley had discovered her father’s secret, at the same time as he’d begun to take an unhealthy interest in her. Mr. Crawley, one of the governors, was broad and stout, with foul breath and fingers like bunches of sausages. She’d found his manners unctuous and unpleasant, and always managed to slip out of his presence at the earliest moment. But one day he’d cornered her in a linen closet. With his pudgy fingers, he’d grabbed her thigh and, breathing sweatily over her, had advised her to be more friendly to him or he would have her father sacked. The odium of his advances was nothing compared to the shock she’d suffered when, having spilled out the awful incident to her father, her beloved parent had suggested she submit to Mr. Crawley’s overtures. That was when she knew she had to escape, and Pip’s proposal had offered a neat solution.
But this aspect of her past was too degrading to share with Julian. Lowering her gaze, she murmured, “He was not permanently incapacitated. With some effort he could maintain a facade of professionalism.”
“So you and Phillip ran away to London. And Sir Thaddeus?” Julian’s voice roughened. “Was he aware of you?”
“Of course not, or the marriage would never have happened.” Nellie rubbed her temples as a sudden headache hammered against her skull. “Sir Thaddeus had no idea even of Phillip’s whereabouts. Phillip had run away from home, so to speak. He was mortally tired of his father’s interference in his life, yet he was too afraid to stand up to him, so he left their London home without warning and simply disappeared. He put up at the local inn for a few weeks, but his funds ran out, and the thought of returning to his father was too distressing. I think that was what triggered his nervous collapse in the first place.”
“Hmm,” Julian grunted, glaring at the empty fireplace. His skin, usually such a warm golden hue, had become grey and stretched around his taut mouth. “I don’t understand. Phillip was afraid of his father, yet he took you back to London to be married. Did he really think Sir Thaddeus would welcome you with open arms?”
The derisive bite in his voice stung her. “What are you implying? Do you too think I’m unworthy to marry into the Ormond family, a nobody like me?”
“I think nothing of the sort, dear girl. I’m merely pointing out that Phillip must have suffered some delusions if, knowing how his father worships the family name, he thought Thaddeus would approve of the marriage.”
Nellie balled her hands, the artificial fingers gnashing against the metal glove. Grimly she made her hands relax. “I am no ‘dear girl’, and yes, Phillip had hopes of a reconciliation with his father, as far-fetched as that sounds to you.”
“But his hopes were dashed, and he abandoned you to go crawling back to Thaddeus.”
No! The denial leaped to her lips but found no voice. Sick at heart, she spun away from his scorn. She stared out the window at the trees bending under the wind, their branches bleeding like black veins against a charcoal sky.
A footstep sounded behind her.
“Nellie? I’m sorry, that was…uncivil of me.”
Instead of derision she heard compassion, and it snaked through her defences, cracking open her reticence.
She turned to him, seeking the warmth of his eyes. “No, don’t apologise. The truth is, everything started to go horribly wrong as soon as we reached London.”
Her first glimpse of London was from a lurching third-class train carriage as they neared the end of their arduous journey. In her exhaustion, the city seemed like a monstrous dragon, breathing smoke and fire, heaving and groaning with millions of people, a restless, snarling, ravenous beast which, she feared, would eat her whole.
With the city bursting at the seams, it wasn’t easy to find a place to stay, especially given their slender means. They managed to find dingy lodgings to the east of the city. It was only temporary, Pip assured her. As soon as things were straightened out with his father, more funds would be forthcoming, and they would be able to move to a more salubrious suburb of London. Nellie was more concerned that they were living together in sin, even though Pip slept on the floor. She was no puritan but was anxious they be married as soon as possible. At her behest, Pip obtained the special marriage licence required, and they were hastily wedded with little fanfare by a doddering, red-nosed vicar in a drab church. It was hardly the fairytale ceremony Nellie had pictured in her girlhood, and she couldn’t hide her disappointment. Pip kept on apologising and stressed several times that when their financial position improved they would be married again with much more pomp.
The very next day they presented themselves to Sir Thaddeus at the family home.
The grand Georgian townhouse in Mayfair, with its marble floors, painted frescoes and gallery of long-dead ancestors, was Nellie’s first inkling of trouble. She’d known Pip came from a wealthy family, but she hadn’t expected such ostentatious riches. And when Sir Thaddeus received them, all her worst premonitions started to shrill at her.