His whole body sinks as he sighs with relief. “Thank God.” He moves over to a drawer and gets an empty vial and syringe. “I’m going to take some of your blood now and see what it’s doing. Have a seat.”
I do what he says as he prepares to draw my blood. I eye his pocket, wondering what the other vial is. “What was that other thing you grabbed?” I ask.
He touches his finger to my forearm, finding a vein. “What do you mean?”
“That vial that’s in your pocket. What is it?”
He puts the needle into my arm and begins to fill the syringe up with blood. “That’s the fading.”
I don’t say anything as he finishes up and then I get up from my chair, heading to leave.
“Wait, where are you going?” he asks as I reach the doorway.
I pause. “To think.”
Now, he pauses. “Kayla, I know this is a hard decision but—but we’re running out of time.”
“I know that,” I say through gritted teeth. “But I need just a few minutes.” To think. To process. To find out what Sylas thinks.”
I walk out the door, knowing if Mathew wanted to, he could probably chase me down and try to put the fading in me, but he doesn’t. He’s giving me a choice. When I think about it, though, I know it’s really not a choice. Deep down, I know what I’m going to do because it’s why I was created. To think without emotion, to think about what’s important, to not base my decisions on greed.
In the end, I’ll go through with it. I just need to say good-bye.
Chapter 23
The first thing I do is find Sylas. Then I tell him everything I found out, including that he might be a Day Walker now. We do a few tests and determine that he probably is, which seems to excite him. I just hope the power doesn’t go to his head, like it did with Aiden.
Then we move onto the bigger problem. The fading. I’m nervously pacing a section of the wall, telling myself it’s time to say good-bye, move forward and hope for the best, however it’s hard. I’m conflicted and I don’t like it because it’s for selfish reasons and I don’t want to be selfish like the Highers.
“How can we be sure we can trust him?” Sylas asks. He’s leaning against the wall with one of his knees pulled up and his arm resting on it.
I shrug as I continue to pace. “I know he’s not lying, but at the same time, I know that he knows it might not work and I might just end up becoming a useful body in the end.”
He rubs his eyes as he stares at the ground. “So then, is it worth it?” he asks. “To do that to yourself when you’re so perfect right now.”
I stop walking and try to stay neutral. “Sylas, perfection is what got the world in trouble to begin with.” I gesture around at the colony hidden behind a wall of cars as vampires cry out on the other side. “None of this would be here. If it wasn’t for perfection, you and I’d be…”
He glances up at me, his dark eyes filled with heat. “We’d be what?”
I shrug. “I don’t know… walking around and living our lives… normal.”
His brow arches. “Together.”
I press my lips together and shrug again. “I’m not sure. Maybe.”
He slowly gets to his feet, his eyes glued to mine as he inches towards me, reducing the space between our bodies until we’re nearly flush. “And if we were together in a normal world, what would we be doing?”
“I’ve never really thought about it,” I say. “Because I can barely remember what the real world was like.”
“Hmmm…” He considers something thoughtfully. “Would we be doing this?” He leans in and brushes his lips against mine, tasting me softly.
“Maybe,” I whisper against his lips and then he kisses me again, much deeper. His hands slip around my waist, forcing me closer, pressing us together. I don’t fight it because I want it; want to be close to him for a moment. We kiss until it becomes too hot, too intense, too emotional, then we pull back. His eyes are still shut and he touches his lips with his fingers.
“Kayla, I’m not going to tell you what to do,” he says. “No, I don’t want you to do it, but at the same time, I don’t think you could live with yourself if you didn’t do it.” His eyes open. “You have too good of a heart.”
I put my hand over my hollow chest. “It doesn’t even beat anymore.”
He places his hand over mine. “It’s still in there though, and it’s full of good.”
I’m about to open my mouth and tell him the same, even though I know he’ll argue, but then we hear a loud thump followed by a scream. Sylas and I trade a look. I think we both know the moment our eyes lock that this is it. They’re here. We can sense it in the air, hear soft thuds in the distance, and the cries of the vampires have faded.
Seconds later, we hear someone yell, “They’re coming!”
“Shit,” Sylas says, taking off for the wall.
I run after him, my footsteps still quicker and I end up passing him. I scan the top of the wall as I move and then head towards a rounder man holding a weird glasses looking thing to his eyes that supposedly helps humans have vision like vampires, although I’m skeptical.
Sylas is right at my heels as I move effortlessly up the stack of cars, running up pieces sticking out like they’re stairs. When I reach the top, I summon a breath and take in the sight before me. Barreling at us at full speed are a large group of abominations, moving on all fours, tearing up the sand and rocks and creating a dust storm as they plow over any vampires in the way. There’s more than I expected. Way more. And they move so much quicker out in the open, hilly land then they do in the city streets.
And they’re not alone.
Moving beside them are white figures, their robes blowing in the wind along with their snowy white hair. There’s also one figure wearing all black that blends in with the night, yet his hair has streaks of white. When I squint closer and examine them closely, I make out Gabrielle and Monarch in the crowd along with… Aiden. He’s starting to change into a higher, too, which means he’ll be less like himself and more like them.
I start to see the bigger picture at the moment; the things I could change if Mathew can make the fading work. That sweet boy I first met would never have had to go through this; no one would ever have to again.
Sylas must see his brother, too, because he reaches over and takes my hand like he needs to hold onto something. I give it a squeeze since it’s all that I can do. I feel a slight twitch of his fingers as his firm jaw tightens.
“I hope we’re ready for this,” he mutters, letting go of my hand and collecting one of the many sharpened sticks on the top of the wall. “God, there’s so many of them.”
I slowly nod, taking in the people around us. I hate to think it, but I can’t help seeing how easily the abominations could destroy them. They weren’t built for this. They’re weak and one bite will ruin them. So fragile. So helpless against the virus. Everyone except for me. I stand tall in the crowd, the single thing that could possibly save them.
If I can convince myself to go through with it.
“Well, it looks like we’re going to need more people on the wall,” Sylas says in a fake joking tone. “God, this is worse than I thought it would be… there’s just so many.”
I nod, turning around and hating what I see. All the guards and the people of the town have gathered around me on the wall or below the wall, waiting to fight as they look at me with their eyes pleading at me to say something, do something… help them and tell them what to do.
Some of the Day Takers have migrated to them, too, not looking afraid, but entertained. Thankfully, Emmy has managed to keep herself over by the lab so Mathew’s protected. Does it even matter? Can he cure the world without me? Do I need to survive? Can I even die?