“Heaven forbid,” I said, voice dry.
“I know! What is with that?”
I snorted, but didn’t reply as my phone rang. The tone told me it was Lucian, so I excused myself and walked into Stane’s bedroom to answer it.
“Well, hello,” he said, his voice low and intimate. Just the sound of it had desire stirring, and though I suspected it wasn’t entirely “real,” it didn’t seem to matter. Nor did Ilianna’s leafy charm appear to mute that reaction.
But maybe it only worked for face-to-face confrontations. I had to hope so, because if I was going to continue my relationship {relno with Lucian, I wanted it to be because I chose to, not because I was under some sort of compulsion spell.
“Hello, yourself,” I said, keeping my voice as even as possible. “What can I do for you?”
Surprise flitted briefly through the bright depths of his eyes. Obviously, he’d been expecting a stronger response.
“Oh, I’m sure I can think of one or two things, but the point of the call is what I can do for you.”
The emphasis he placed on I and you had all sorts of wicked images floating through my mind. I cleared my throat and said, “And what might that be?”
“Besides the obvious, you mean?”
I half smiled. “Yeah, besides that.”
“Lauren believes she might have an answer to our dilemma.”
My heart began to race a little faster. Now that the moment was here, I wasn’t sure that I should go through with it.
“What sort of answer?”
“She didn’t say. She just said she needs to run a test to ensure it works, and for that she requires your presence.”
I hesitated. “Lucian, I don’t think—”
“It can’t hurt to check out what she has to offer,” he interrupted, in a voice that wasn’t about to brook any argument. “After all, it may not even work.”
I had to hope so, because I really didn’t want to be in debt to a dark sorcerer.
So why even bother going? Azriel’s thought was knife sharp.
Because I need to know. About whatever magic our dark sorceress had come up with, and about the charm that now encircled my wrist.
And if the charm doesn’t work?
Then I guess you have the choice of watching, joining in, or keeping your distance. My reply was somewhat tight. I might understand his reasons for keeping his distance, I might even agree that it was for the best when it came to the task still ahead of us, but that didn’t give him the right to get pissy whenever I happened to be talking to—or was with—Lucian. Even if he had placed a compulsion spell on me.
I half expected Azriel to disappear in another huff, but he merely crossed his arms and gave me his impassive, not-thinking, not-feeling face.
“Earth to Risa,” Lucian said. “You there?”
I blinked. “Yeah.”
“But obviously didn’t hear a word I just said,” he said, amusement teasing the corners of his eyes. “That reaper giving you grief again?”
“No.”
He sighed. “You’re not a very good liar, my girl. I said, Lauren will be here at five, if you’re free.”
“Where’s ‘here’?" fa {her La
“My apartment, not the club.” He paused, then gave me a wide grin. My stupid hormones did a happy little two-step. “Although we could visit the club afterward, if you’d like. It’s fancy-dress night.”
“A fancy-dress night sounds a little too tame for your tastes.”
“If you think that, then we obviously need to go. And it will be my extreme pleasure to teach you otherwise.”
“One step at a time,” I said, trying not to smile. “Let’s meet with Lauren, and see how that goes first.”
“So you can get here by five?”
I glanced at the clock. It was close to five now, but it wouldn’t take me that long to get there by taxi. I could travel by Aedh form, but even though I felt a whole lot stronger after eating and sleeping, I wasn’t about to waste energy uselessly. Lucian and his dark sorceress would just have to wait if I was late.
“Depends on the traffic,” I said. “But probably.”
“Good. See you soon.”
I hung up, then tossed the phone in my purse and walked to the bed to retrieve Amaya from under the pillow. Happy, not, she said, as I slung her over my back. Should not leave alone.
It wasn’t my choice to get snatched without you, I replied, then wondered why in the hell I was justifying myself to my own damn sword. Maybe I was going crazy—which would not be surprising given the mess my life was in at the moment.
I made the bed, then slung my purse over my shoulder and headed for the door.
“Risa, don’t go,” Azriel said softly.
Fuck it, Azriel, don’t do this. I stopped. “Why not?”
“Because I do not want you to go.”
I flexed my fingers, and found myself reeling between the desire to do what he asked and the knowledge that what he was asking was wrong. “You were the one who said this quest was more important than anything else. If talking to this dark sorcereress gets us closer to the keys, then we have to do it.”
“I am not talking about the keys. I am talking about you and Lucian.”
“Lucian has his place in this search, whether you like it or not.”
“It is not so much his place in this search that I object to.”
“Damn it, you can’t say things like that. Not after everything you said last night.” And while a deeper part of me rejoiced at the admission, it mostly only added to the deepening well of frustration.
“There have been a lot of things I should not have said or done, Risa.”
Yeah, and showing me just how truly amazing we could be together, then snatching away the possibility of it ever happening again was certainly one of them.
“You said last night that I wasn’t understanding the se {andne of triousness of the situation. Well, this time you’re the one not understanding.” I turned. There was very little in the way of emotion to be seen in his face. “I might be part Aedh, but I am also werewolf. Sex may not be the necessity for me that it is for others of my kind, but by the same token, I do not want to live my life without it.”
“I am not asking—”
“Yes, you are.” I said it fiercely, my fists clenched. “You’re asking me to stay out of Lucian’s bed, and right now he’s the only sexual partner I have. And don’t suggest I seek out others, because I can’t afford to bring anyone else into my life with all the shit that is happening. At least Lucian is fully able to protect himself.”
“But he is not to be trust—”
“Maybe not,” I cut in. “But then, who the hell am I supposed to trust in this whole debacle? Every single person involved in this quest is using me for their own reasons—you, Lucian, Hunter, my father. Hell, even Jak’s doing it to get a story, but at least with him it’s a mutual thing.”
“What about Tao, Ilianna, and Stane? They are not—”
“They’re my friends, and only part of this quest because I’ve dragged them into it. They’re not using me; they’re trying to keep me alive.”
“I’m trying to keep you alive.”
“But only because you need me to find the keys. If it came to a choice between saving me and gaining the keys, we both know I’d be a goner.”
He didn’t say anything. And whatever he was feeling, whatever he was thinking, he was keeping it all locked down very tightly.
I sighed. “We can’t keep doing this, Azriel. We can’t keep arguing over this same point. Either you and I take the risk of deepening our relationship, or you accept the fact that I will take other lovers, be that Lucian or not.”
He made a sharp “whatever” motion with his hand. “You are right. I will not mention it again.”